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The Great War on Daftsodism

Apparently 13 people were killed at Britain’s level crossings last year and Railtrack want something done. They want questions about level crossings to be made compulsory on the driving theory test.

This is a complete nonentity of a story so why bother commenting on it? I mean Joe Biden is in Israel so expect Armageddon to kick-off in the next 48 hours. Well it’s typical of a certain mindset. People who off themselves on level crossings aren’t dying because they are ignorant. They die because they wilfully flout the laws. And I don’t just mean the laws of the country but the laws of physics. Many motoring topics are not exactly totally intuitive but the fact that in any given collision the train will beat the car ought to be to anyone smart enough to pass a driving test. To be fair they ought to be obvious to anyone smart enough to have the training wheels taken off their bicycle. But it isn’t the mindset of crass stupidity or pointless risk-taking I’m on about but Network Rail’s mindset.

This is a classic example of “something must be done-ism” and also of “but if it saves just one life-ism…” Now I don’t know if Network Rail seriously think this is a solution to the problem. If so they are misguided as the head of road safety at the AA pointed out (this was on BBC News this morning) or if they are doing a sort of Pontius Pilate act. We see this all the time. This isn’t just nanny-statism but pointless nanny-statism. This is Rapiscan, this is hospitals banning smoking in their grounds. It’s all a complete waste of time. In this case it’s the government waging war on daftsodism. On the basis that the Darwin Awards still keep trogging along*. It’s like the government adverts recently on seat-belt wearing. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t get in a car and automatically put their belt on almost reflexively. Undoubtedly there are daft sods out there who don’t wear seat belts or who joust with trains on level crossings but that’s not because they haven’t been told. It’s because they are daft sods. Right now as I type in a maternity ward somewhere a daft sod is being born. T’was ever thus. In the context of safety on the rails… Well I seem to recall that at the Rainhill trials a particularly daft sod (who also happened to be an MP) copped an unfortunate one when he got hit by Stephenson’s Rocket. Now it could be argued that railways were new then but should it not be obvious that several tons of metal moving at a reasonable lick is dangerous and should be avoided? I mean do you need to be told that playing kiss-chase with tigers is stupid. Well, perhaps some people do.

This is a profound example of the government fighting a war it can never win. I mean what driver education could have prevented this accident? A modicum of common sense could have prevented it but then we all know that is something less common than we’d like it to be. Well, we all know that but the government clearly doesn’t.

Until the daft sod gene is eliminated from the shallow end of the gene pool the government is tilting at windmills. I’m not holding my breath.

*Perhaps my favourite was some American who having run out of beer made his own by mixing petrol with milk. This vile beverage resulted in almost immediate vomiting which he did into the fireplace with the fire still burning…

Police State

SOCIAL WORKERS have placed the five-year-old daughter of a professional couple on the child protection register for “emotional abuse” after the mother told the girl she was delivered by caesarean.

Other allegations against the mother include cuddling her daughter for too long when dropping her off at nursery.

The intervention by Birmingham social services prompted the mother, Shahnaz Malik, to go into hiding with her daughter, Amaani, for two months, fearing the girl would be taken away.

An alert was put out to all British ports, and police conducted raids on a string of properties in the West Midlands. Two weeks ago police battered down the door of the family’s home in an apartment block in an attempt to find Amaani. She had been moved elsewhere by her mother, but her father, Vijay Bansal, 42, an IT consultant, was later arrested and held in a cell overnight for “obstructing” the search.

Officers also seized Malik’s car, took toothbrushes from the bathroom to analyse for DNA and raided the homes of relatives in the middle of the night, looking for the mother and girl.

“This whole case is madness as there is no reason for the state to be involved in this little girl’s life in this way,” said John Hemming, a Birmingham MP who campaigns against abuses by the family courts.

“The problem is that the system is using massive aggression to deal with the mother’s refusal to respond to a set of frankly silly concerns.”

The council’s actions follow criticism of it by a judge for showing gross lack of judgment in failing to stop seven-year-old Khyra Ishaq starving to death. Care workers did not think she warranted being placed on the at-risk register.

The problems started after Amaani began to attend a private nursery last September.Within weeks, friction developed between Malik and staff, who said the girl bit her nails and had been overheard swearing at a teacher.

Malik, who has a masters degree in social policy, said last week: “We never swear at home, so she must have picked up the words at nursery. She told me she did swear at the nursery teacher because she was grabbed very hard by her.”

When Malik withdrew Amaani from the nursery, she was told by a health visitor that their case was being referred to social services.

“I went to a solicitor, who said the grabbing of Amaani’s arm was an assault, so I decided to make a complaint to the police,” Malik said.

However, she felt the police were uninterested in her complaint and wanted to speak to Amaani alone — which Malik refused to allow.

A few days later her husband was called in by officers. “The police asked me if my wife has mental health problems. I said, ‘Absolutely not’,” Bansal said.

“They said, ‘There are allegations coming from the nursery’. They said, ‘Someone overheard your wife saying to your daughter she had her stomach cut open to deliver Amaani’.”

Bansal said the police also told him that his wife cuddled Amaani for 10-15 minutes when dropping her off at the nursery. “I said, ‘No mother wants to leave her child screaming’.

“Then they said that when my wife and daughter had been in the police station, Amaani had turned to the officers and said, ‘Hello, pigs.’ But at that point Amaani liked watching Peppa Pig. She calls me ‘Daddy Pig’ and she calls her mother ‘Mummy Pig’.”

Social workers told the family they wanted to hold a child protection conference.

Malik said: “We decided not to attend or engage with them since we could see they had made their minds up already.”

In January, Birmingham council notified the family that Amaani was subject to a child protection plan for “emotional abuse”. Although she would be allowed to live at home, social workers would make unannounced visits.

Malik said: “I had only told Amaani about how she was born because I believe in telling the truth and she had thought her daddy gave birth to her. I don’t see how that is evidence of emotional abuse.”

She added: “I was getting worried that they would come and take Amaani so I moved out with her and stayed with friends.”

Her husband remained at home but was taken to hospital with a heart condition two weeks ago. The next morning he received a message from the concierge at their block of flats saying the police had entered their two-bedroom apartment.

“I had to basically discharge myself from the hospital to come and sort it out,” he said. A few days later he was arrested and placed in a cell while officers looked for Amaani.

The girl was finally presented to the authorities last Thursday. She was allowed to return home.

Birmingham council has declined to comment, citing confidentiality.

From the Sunday Times. I wanted to post on Sunday but I was too irate. I made a good job of it yesterday but it was lost somewhere in the ether between Cheshire and Queensland (how cool does that sound - just wind-back a few years). I post without further comment at this utter outrage. At least the original SS had the decency to don natty uniforms and not wear “ethnic” skirts and tote a copy of the Indy.

My Name’s Nick…

… and I’m a cultural relativist.

I am. I believe culture and history and tradition matter and that there’s a lot of cultures out there and no culture has a monopoly on the truth because that is not what it’s about or that terrible concept - how things really ought to be.

Different cultures add to the gaiety of nations.

What I am not is a moral relativist. I was once a guest of a Jewish family in Florida. They kept kosher so when I did some washing-up the lady of the house told me of the two sets of plates. I was fine with that. The only thing I found disturbing was the sink’s waste-disposal unit. They are not that common in the UK and it made me think of a sarlacc monster. In the kitchen! Cool!

Fine really. They do things differently and as far as I could tell the big difference was I could have a cheeseburger and they couldn’t. Not exactly something to raise Cain over is it? But if they hadn’t been Jews but had in fact been Satanists and after dinner had invited me as guest of honour to light the wicker man for them then I would have run out screaming and dialled 911 and asked for Florida State Troopers and if they could stretch to it a company of Marines, a couple of Apache gunships and perhaps fire support from an Iowa class battleship if possible.

Cultural differences are wonderful (I hope here I’m not sounding like an HSBC advert). They are fun and the reason we go on holiday but cultural differences are not differences in fundamental morality. That’s a different issue. Oh, I know there’s a rather shady interzone between them but I am talking here about the principles rather than the details. I know that cultural differences can cause the odd faux-pas such asking where the “toilets” are in the US when you ought to say “restroom” or “bathroom” (never quite worked that one out - coupla pints and a nice soak - grab your coat we’re going out and don’t forget the Radox and the rubber ducky!) but with a modicum of good humour on both sides it can be fun for all concerned and if like me you are a naturally curious character you might even learn something. From time spent in central Europe for example I’ve learned that I prefer ham and cheese and fruit and stuff for breakfast to what either French or English hotels tend to offer.

Because culture is amusement and fun and food and folk-dancing* and festivals. Being a cultural relativist means not bitching like Catherine Tate about funny foreign food (even if this was indeed in Dewsbury). It’s going into a Chinese restaurant and eating Chinese (usually in the UK Cantonese) food but regarding foot-binding as horrific**. It’s about not regarding the Japanese as savages for eating raw fish but not excusing their Imperial Army for the Burma railroad. It’s admiring Islamic calligraphy without accepting the “sword verses” of the Qu’ran as part and parcel of it.

The Great(ly misconceived) War on Terror is not a “clash of civilizations” or of cultures but of moralities. We have a problem with the ragheads not because they wear tea-towels on their bonces (a matter for commedians and not Lt Generals) but because they dress their (note the possessive) women in tents and want us to do the same. This is not a war on falafel*** but against despicable cunts who fly 767s into skyscrapers.

It is in short being able to distinguish culture from morality and this is something many don’t get.

“Cultural Relativism” - I’m taking it back. Just as I took “liberal”. I am doing this because culture is the icing and not the cake. Because culture has no truth value yet morality does. A few years ago a young Iraqi woman was killed by her family for the crime of fratenizing with a British soldier who manned a check-point near where she lived. They met daily and exchanged a few words. Nothing more than what I get up to with the newsagent and he’s a bloke****. but that was enough for her to be killed horribly.

Her death was not down to cultural issues but moral ones. And not not murdering your own daughter over nothing ranks pretty high in Nick’s big list of does and dont’s.

*I might draw a line at that one because I’m with Arnold Bax on Morris dancing and incest.
**Fortunately no more due to the Commies. Stopped clocks and all.
***And the causes of falafel.
****He does though torture me. I go in for a pack of fags and leave with the new Doctor Who mag as well because my wife is a fully paid-up member of the Whovians. And Sayeed knows that. The sod!

Poptastic

Goldfrapp have a new album out and this is the lead single. Trust me it’s a grower. It’s catchier than AIDS in San Fran bath house in ‘79.

I love Goldfrapp. It’s kinda like pop music for grown-ups. I like that. Pop usually sort of splits into meaningless crap (who can’t forget Howard from Take That?) and people demonstrating their serious and worthy credentials by being utter miserablists. Ever tried dancing to Radiohead? You’d need a fucking conniption fit whilst on LSD to achieve that.

Goldfrapp are different.

Most bands are either very worthy or just suitable for toddlers* and maiden aunts (yes, Cowell, that’s you, you bizarrely trousered multi-millionaire cunt). So, hats off to Alison and Will. That’s music not asking me to slash myself to prove how serious I am but that you can dance to.

5-4-3-2-1 - we have lift-off. Yes, I think we do.

Unless I’m thinking of Harriet Harman and Hazel Blears singing “I got you babe” to each other - in a lezza manner. Then I can last until the heat death of the Universe. If Clare Short was also frigging her bear trapper’s hat with a traffic cone that would give me Poincare time on the job. Whilst Jack Straw was pouring one from the wrist. Oh, behave Nick! Sex would feel like it started under Johnnie Major (a disgusting thought in itself) and ended under the premiership of Clegg. Yeah. like that’s ever gonna happen which is sort of my point.

No, Goldfrapp are part of a long history of bands that go back to at least Blondie. Smart, sassy, sexy, streetwise - lots of things that start with “s”. I count The Cardigans there too. Pop music that is brilliant (as any type of music can be) because it’s just brilliant.

And no it ain’t just becuase they are all fronted by toothsome blondes but, quite frankly, I’d rather give Nina Persson one than discover it was some worthy cunt like Midge Ure in a fright wig. God Almighty! That night would end badly for all concerned.

What I really like about the ‘frapp is that there is no message. They produce - as ABBA did - perfectly crafted popoular music without the pretense that Will and Alison are trying to change the world.

Can someone for the love of God please inform Bono that he is an entertainer and not the second coming of Nelson Mandela.

* I bet when Blandplay or whatever they are called get “new fathers” following them they are wearing those kiddie-rigs on their chests at gigs. “He borrowed the child so he could show the World he wasn’t a complete gayer!” - which he certainly is. Well mate your organic fairtrade cover is blown the moment that daft bugger with gaffer tape on his hand (why?) married to “Ms Poultry” (I’ve had her parson’s nose and found it foul) starts on about the speed of sound which is of course about 340m/s at sea level you twat. Because you are all, every last one of you, utter cunts.

Science

Courtesy of Jo Nova.

scientist_skeptical_II-sml-p13bi unskeptical_II-sml-p13b

Jo has a brief posting on the nature of science, and its purpose. Despite the high quality of her postings I posted a comment complaining about her use of the term ‘theory’ in the article in a context where ‘hypothesis’ is more appropriate. It is important that the distinction be made.

If advocates wish to refer to AGW as theory then that is up to them, it is their choice. They are wrong in their terminology, but it is their choice to be wrong. However, in any dispute it is a mistake to allow ones opponents to set the ground rules. The point being AGW is not a theory and it demeans the word to call it thus. AGW is an hypothesis, and a falsified hypothesis at that.

Whenever I deal with supporters of the IPCC and the motley CRU et al I reject the use of theory and insist correct terminology be used. As well as being correct, as a debating tactic it often serves to wrong foot them. They are most often not accustomed to having to justify their terminology, and often can’t do it. It is an excellent means of inducing them to think.

 

As a side issue, a scientist need not be polite. So long as they adhere to the other principles listed who cares whether they are polite or obnoxious?

Peter Preston

Peter Prestons despairing appeal for a charismatic prophet to lead us all to the sunlit uplands of a carbon free (bad carbon, nasty carbon) future? You all read it yet? In its appeal to belief and faith rather than reason and knowledge?

Disheartening as it is that a supposedly intelligent and informed man could write this rejection of knowledge in favour of belief I am cheered by the comments, overwhelmingly disparaging of this twaddle – and in the Guardian too.

God, imagine if they even lost the GROLIES. You think even Cherie Blair could cross the road to rationality?

Invitation to fraud

HAHAHAHAHAHA

And this is the way Kevni, in Oz, and both CallmeDave and Gordon, in the UK, want to piss our money away.

Well, why not? It isn’t their money after all.

Not only that, read the comments – it isn’t even fraud. Well, it is, it’s just not against the law.

 

At this point, continuing on this topic, let me add my mite of acknowledgement to the growing chorus of approval for one of Georgies more rational columns.

Playing With Cats

Much though I like playing with my little cat this would appear to be going to far.

I’m so staggered as to be unable to comment further on such utter insanity. Fortunately JuliaM has so I don’t have to.

The VAT Man Cometh…

… and take awayeth. There are munterings about VAT being applied to food.

A Treasury spokesman said that there was “absolutely no question” of the current Chancellor imposing VAT on groceries.

“It is not remotely on the table,” he said.

A perhaps unfortunate choice of phrasing. But do you even remotely trust a Treasury spokesman?

However civil servants are examining all the permutations available to the next government to bring in revenue following the election.

Note the use of the word “current” in the previous quote… “All the permutations” - Jeezus! It sounds like the heads of the five families getting together over linguini and a nice Chianti and Luigi is saying, “Is it going to be the broads, or the dope or the numbers racket? Hey Giovanni whaddya think?”

The food industry is against the move. Mr King said: “On food, VAT acts in a very regressive way. The poorer you are, the higher the proportion of your household income you spend on food.

Yup. Absolutely. The chocolate ration has just been raised from 30g to 25g.

A second supermarket chief executive said: “My view is that it would be totally inappropriate. You are taxing what people have to eat to live. Groceries are not discretional spend.”

True but VAT has for a very long time not been about taxing luxuries. Is a pair of trousers a luxury? Is the gas bill? VAT is a classic example of taxation mission creep.

Stephen Robertson, the director-general of the BRC [British Retail Consortium], said that a tax on food could be damaging to the economic recovery.

“My feeling is that it could be dangerous to apply a break on spending at this point in a very fragile recovery,” he said.

Well, that’s one way of looking at it. Another way is it would be very dangerous, as it would lead to scurvy and rickets. Yet another way of looking at it is that taxing food is thoroughly immoral.

Think of it. Us small government types are always the ones getting the brickbat of, “but you’d have the poor starving in the streets!” when the end result of this monstrance of a progressive government might well be a food-tax.

“Consumers will also be wary that further out they are very likely to face higher taxes as part of the major corrective action that will be needed to rein in the government finances. It has been mooted for example that VAT could rise to 20pc,” the retailer [John Lewis] said.”

Well, they could try doing what the rest of us do and spend less. A good start might be not paying mettlesome rat bags to measure the size of chips.

But then of course the Chip-Nazis are part of this whole mess. My guess is the food tax will arrive and it will target “sin” foods. It will link in with a mandated “traffic-light” scheme so green marked food will be zero-rated (for now) and amber and red will be progressively more highly taxed. This will be claimed to be done for the children or health or the environment or something but will in actuality be an attempt to prevent the sort of rioting that followed the imposition of the corn laws.

Of course the next logical step is rationing. That works on so many levels. It can raise revenue, pursue a “health agenda” so draconian as to make a Nazi gym-mistress blush and it could even be linked to “food miles” to save the planet. The possibilities are endless so I’d best stop before I give Them any more ideas.

We really have come to a pretty pass. Food riots and rationing in Britain in the Twenty First Century. Jesus wept! Pass the Victory Gin and make it a large one.

And she’ll have fun, fun, fun…

… Till her Daddy the judge takes her T-Bird away.

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

“She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Trooper Gary Dunick said. “If I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot … who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, ‘Nothing will ever beat this.’ Well, this takes it.”

If that weren’t enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed to be on the road.

Well, to be fair to Ms Barnes, in a very real sense she wasn’t actually driving.

I shall pass over the fact that her ex was “driving” her to see her new beau from the passenger seat whilst she shaved her pubic hair. Except to shout, Jerry!, Jerry!, Jerry! because it gets better…

The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver’s license was revoked for five years, after which time she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months’ probation.

But the heck with the law (or any form of common sense)! She had her date and her ex was prepared to steer whilst she intimately groomed in the driver’s seat (huh?). The question that really springs to mind is how she could control the pedals whilst trimming? She wasn’t using cruise control or something? Bloody Hell!

Barnes and Charles Judy were southbound in her Thunderbird at 11 a.m. when they slammed into the back of a 2006 Chevrolet pickup driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay. His passengers were a man and two women; the latter were treated for minor injuries at Lower Keys Medical Center, FHP spokesman Alex Annunziato said.

Schoff had slowed to about 5 mph to make a turn when the Thunderbird hit him, traveling about 45 mph, which was within the speed limit, Dunick said.

Barnes allegedly drove another half-mile, then switched seats with Judy, who allegedly claimed to be driving, Annunziato said.

“She jumps in the back seat and he moves over,” Dunick said. “It was like the old comedy bit, ‘Who’s on first?’ ”

Burns on Judy’s chest from the passenger-side airbag deploying belied their story, Dunick said. The airbag in the steering wheel did not deploy, he said.

Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.

Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.

“My phone has been ringing off the hook all day, and I know there’s a funny side to this, but it’s also deadly serious. This is a scary road and a lot of bad wrecks are caused by dumb stuff like this,” Dunick said. “It is unbelievable. I’m really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys.”

From here.

I don’t think I can comment further except to say the Keys are a bit mental (generally in a cool way). Let’s have a musical interlude whilst you digest the full screaming idiocy of what must rank as about the most insanely bizarre RTA I have ever heard of.

Debbie Harry was born in Florida BTW.

Raw Swedes

After a brief break (occasioned mainly by my internet connection breaking for a week) I’ve been struggling to catch up again with everything going on. Interesting times, as they say. Probably one of the most interesting bits was Professor Jones’ evidence to Parliament. Poor Jones was under stress and looking fragile, no doubt worried about being caught in the tangled web he’s woven. Should he cut through it all and come clean? Truthfully, I do not think he could expect much mercy if he did. Or does he still hope to pick his way through the minefield? If so, I think he may have a problem with the Swedes.

This is about what is meant by “the raw data” and whether it is accessible. He was asked the question “Are all the raw data used in your various analyses accessible and verifiable?” and he replied “The simple answer is yes”. The word “simple” in this case meaning ’not quite true’.

Later he is asked a more pointed question: “I understand that the criticism from McIntyre, Mosher, Fuller, Hughes and other people is not that the data has been kept secret, it has been available on different data sets, but your computer programmes and methodology and which weather stations you have actually been putting into the papers have not been made available to them. That is the real criticism, is it not?” He replies that the methods are published in the papers, that they’re very simple, and there was a problem with releasing the data because some Met centres had set conditions preventing this, but they were writing to them all asking if it would be OK to release. He fails to mention that not all the details are in the papers, that he couldn’t find most of these agreements when challenged on it (they’d lost them), and that he’d already shared the data with another friendly researcher, but never mind all that – the point of interest is the letters that have been sent out requesting permission.

Incidentally, you should be puzzled at this point about how the data can all be freely accessible, and at the same time require permission to publish. That will be explained shortly.

Not only were the letters sent, but replies have been received. Behold!

Unfortunately, several of these countries impose conditions and say you are not allowed to pass it on, so there has just been an attempt to get these answers. Seven countries have said "No, you cannot", half the countries have not yet answered, Canada and Poland are amongst those who have said, "No you cannot publish it" and also Sweden. Russia is very hesitant. We are under a commercial promise, as it were, not to; we are longing to publish it because what science needs is the most openness.

That last sentence is such a laugh! But obviously having made such a statement, people have gone to the met offices of the countries in question, and asked them what on Earth they’re playing at, withholding scientific data? And they’re not best pleased. All of a sudden, the virtuous Dr Jones is longing to release the data (“The two MMs have been after the CRU station data for years. If they ever hear there is a Freedom of Information Act now in the UK, I think I’ll delete the file rather than send to anyone.”) and the dastardly Swedes are revealed as the true culprits!

Well, it seems the Swedish Meteorological and Hydrological Institute has written back (and the letter somehow found its way into the public domain) to say that wasn’t what they meant at all.

No, you see Dr Jones asked permission to republish the raw data, but in order to explain why he had to do it rather than rely upon the Swedes releasing it themselves he had to explain that his version of their raw data was very likely different from theirs. And so not only did he have to do it, but they weren’t to worry about the fact that the data he would be releasing would have different numbers in it and stuff.

Well, the Swedes had written back to say that no, they were not happy for him to publish the raw data from his site, but that all the raw data was going to be made available on the Swedish site. This is what the professor referred to in his evidence to Parliament.

You can see the bind that Jones is in. He’s said that the raw data is all accessible, which it is. But if people try to use it they’ll find the output won’t match, and he can see trouble coming from that. But the raw data that does match the final numbers he’s not allowed to publish, because some met offices are upset at the idea of some other set of numbers coming out and being described as theirs. (They are, perhaps, concerned that they might get the blame.) So he’s trying to claim that the data isn’t being withheld, because it’s already out there, and it has to be withheld, because those nasty foreign met offices made him do it, and everything is “accessible and verifiable” and it’s not his fault.

No wonder he was nervous.

I would be curious to know if there are similar stories in Canada and Poland. But of course the most interesting thing to come out of all this is the unexpectedly flexible definition of the term “raw data”. How can Phil’s version of the weather in Sweden differ from that of the Swedes’? Was the weather doing two different things at once? Or were the observers in two minds about it?

What he means of course is that he’s processed it. But he doesn’t want to (or is unable to) explain how and why, so he wants to label it as “raw” so that nobody can ask him questions. And not every met office is willing to collude, either allowing the substitution to be made, or silently acquiescing to being blamed for withholding it.

So if there are other differences between the data already published and the data direct from the met offices in question, it would be most amusing to ask them about the discrepancy, and why they agreed to allow this to occur. One can understand the motives of professor Jones, but why have so many of the sources agreed to this? Why is it that only Canada (a cold place), Russia (also cold), Sweden (pretty chilly) and Poland (heavily dependent on coal) refused to cooperate with this scheme to stop the world using fossil fuels?

While everybody is busy digging into the old web of lies, a new one is being constructed under our very noses. The data CRU releases will be declared “raw”, and conclusions drawn from it under the new regime of ‘transparency’ will be far harder to argue with. They’re learning, and they haven’t given up.

Thank you Sweden.

YPLF

According to the Gauleiter for Children, Obersturmbannführer Balls everyone involved in education is a member of the Young People’s Learning Family (YPLF).

Just Google “yplf”.

In the spirit of Oscar Wilde once might be unfortunate but twice…

H/T Commentator Thomas Hobbes.

Green Date

You hop in your Prius (and hope the breaks don’t fail) and drive over to pick-up your hot-date (she’s only hot due to global warming) and take her to an organic vegan restaurant and over a glass of Fairtrade Chablis and some quinoa you discuss whether or not the toilets ought to have towels or hand-dryers and fall in love because she’s just so in touch with the planet. You go back to your eco-yurt tempting her with the offer of coffee made by a Venezuelan Worker’s Co-Operative* and your signed special edition of “An Inconvenient Truth” with all the deleted scenes. Uplifted and feeling so in harmony with each others karmas but exhausted by digesting Al’s Hockey Stick for the three hundredth time*** you can’t get wood** but that’s OK because, as you both slip under your genuine Cherokee blanket you have some toys.

H/T Commentator Sunfish

*Actually slaves.
**You shouldn’t anyway because they are killing the lungs of the Earth for it.
***You both agree it’s so re-watchable and you get something new from it every time that’s when you realise you have truly found your life partner and when you wed sky-clad in a forest glade your wedding list will be for various acreages of the Amazon.

Rapescan

Yes, I know it’s not exactly called that.

Even vaguely regular readers will know I love ‘planes but hate flying. I am sick to the back teeth of it. The last time I flew from Manchester Airport they used the wands on me and some metal showed-up. God knows what. I ended-up being patted down like a fucking criminal. For fuck’s sake!

This story outrages me. Good on those two ladies for saying “fuck you” to the tin-pot preverts but what about the thousands of sheeple strip-searched? Why has no one else objected?

Perhaps this comment on The Times article might help explain:

EMP.IranNow Sewagefix wrote:
Traveling is not a must, either you want to fly and are being exposed and watched or either you do not travel. You are free to decide if you want to travel or not.

Well some of us are pal. Other folks have to do it for work. What about them? Anyway fuck it. This is just a version of, “You done nothing wrong, you got nothing to hide”. It’s outrageous.

“In accordance with the government directive on scanners, they were not permitted to fly. Body scanning is a big change for customers who are selected under the new rules and we are aware that privacy concerns are on our customers’ minds, which is why we have put strict procedures to reassure them that their privacy will be protected.”

Last month, Lord Adonis stressed that an interim code of practice on the use of body scanners stipulated that passengers would not be selected “on the basis of personal characteristics”.

He said that images captured by body scanners would be immediately deleted after the passenger had gone through and that security staff were appropriately trained and supervised.

Where to start? As far as deleting the scan immediately. Well, that’s trusting them with a data security issue. Be still my splitting sides! Whatever celebs have “interesting” body-piercings will be all over the intermong and in the Daily Star within the week.

Appropriately trained and supervised. Supervised as in some other fucker gets to cop an eyeful too? Magic.

And, “strict procedures to reassure them that their privacy will be protected”. Dear mother of all fuckulence! You’ve already had airport staff look at an image of your genitals. I’m somewhat vague as to how your privacy is then protected here. I mean if you’re not the largest donkey in the park they’re probably out back having a belly-laugh by the time you board. And they will be. Some bugger working the CCTV a few years back was “reprimanded” for using his relative omnisicience to follow, camera by camera, callipygian girls down the road and now we are handing the same sort X-ray specs…

And there is another other issue to what is clearly not just security theatre anymore but a Bangkok night club floor show complete with ladyboys pole-dancing. The first lady who said “get stuffed” apparently did so according to The Times for “religious reasons”. May well be the case but and fair play on that score… But the way the article was written suggested that folks like me of no religious faith don’t actually have a defensible objection. Have we and The Times become so craven?

It’s that that really boils my piss. Osama bin Laden sought to destroy the freedoms of the West via the medium of commercial aviation. Well the lad has got it right in the back of the onion bag here.

PS. Lord Adonis is his name but if you Google his image prepare to be dissapointed ladies.
PPS. Did the manufacturers of this device really think through the name. I mean my pun hardly required Wildean wit did it?
PPPS. There was something on the telly about this last night. It featured an interview with a former El Al security chief. He reckoned it was a complete waste of time.

Busted!

I just overheard something this morn on the radio - it’s was Sandi Toksvig doing one of those mildly humerous news quizzes that I just had to look into this story for it was so beautiful.

A while back Ed Balls - who I wouldn’t trust to run a whelk stall let alone provide services for children - unveiled the government’s new website for small kids involving a -presumably - cute dog Called Buster. The site they named “Buster’s World”.

Alas they hadn’t done their homework. If you type “Buster’s World” into Google the top result is a gay fetish site. And I mean gay in both senses of the world - it caters for men into ballon fetishism. Nope, it’s a new one on me too. Not that it surprises me because since the internet nothing to do with sexual kinks surprises me. Even the ones that are so weird they don’t even seem like sex as much as a very odd hobby. Note whilst that link is probably NSFW (not least because if any of your colleagues spot you looking at it God knows what they’ll think*) the site seems essentially harmless and perhaps even a little whimsical.

When I started this post I thought it would end about here with the usual comment about government incompetence and that really is idiotic of them not to even run the name through Google. But then government is incompetent and when it comes to IT schemes you can at least notch the buffoonery-up an order of magnitude. I mean they make Fred Carno’s Circus look like the Trooping of the Colour.

But then I saw this. The government’s Buster’s World is a load of leftie and Green propaganda.

One is a website designed by people with very strange obsessions and the other is about blokes who like balloons.

I know which of the two is more dangerous to young minds.

PS. I have fought the good fight here and refused to make any humerous references to blow-jobs. I deserve a cigar for that.

*At a fair guess you’ll return on Monday to find your workstation festooned with balloons and you will die of shame.