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Humour

Midweek Mirth

Arrivals and Departures

Batshit crazy stuff for the Weekend.

I’m really at a loss for words with this one

Here’s Tom Waits take on it.

Quote of the Conference.

UKIP defectors are the sort of people who have sex with vacuum cleaners’:

Boris Johnson

He didn’t put it quite as boldly as that, as you can see from the article, but that is certainly what he meant. I love the Conference season, don’t you? So full of deep incisive analysis.

Methinks the Tories are very rattled at this point. Smile

Friday Humour

What Can We Do To Lessen the Grip of Fear

Another one…

Matt cartoon September 24

Cartoon of the Week.

Matt cartoon September 21

Cartoon of the Week.

Silly Names

I don’t mean intrinsically silly names. I mean combos. I mean Zowie Bowie is silly in both ways but Zowie is an intrinsically silly name.

I guess I first heard of the actress and singer Minnie Driver in the movie Grosse Pointe Blank. Now that is a US movie, set in the US so I assumed she was American and it was just unfortunate naming. The Mini note being the truly iconic motor it is here over there. I was gob-smacked to find out she was English.

Which brings us of course to the former England Rugby player Austin Healey.

This is Austin Healey…

This is an Austin Healey…

Perhaps not quite as iconic as the Mini but a car everyone in this country knows. It’s a smart looking motor I’m sure you’ll agree.

Of course this lunacy is not restricted to out Britannic Isles as such examples as the actor Rip Torn and the terrorist/politician (no longer with us) Abdullah Abdullah testify.

Can you think of any more?

Yes, there is an “Anus” in the Phillipines…

… and it is not that far from a “Bollock”.

And there is much more gold to be mined. I realised I was in the wrong job when my solar-system dynamics lecturer (he’s on the telly sometimes) Carl Murray used the phrase, “Semilatus rectum” and I was the only one to laugh. I blame Viz. And my Gran who had a turn of phrase that would shock you younglings (easily the worst line uttered by Ewan McGregor – evah).

H/T davidthompson.

Skid Marks saved the day!

Trouble is we can’t count on terrorists to be complete morons forever, can we?

If Dumb was Dirt, this Writer would cover several acres…

If you want a good laugh, go read this (click through the 6 pages).

Now I wrote several articles for Rolling Stone in my time, a damned fine MUSIC magazine, but like NME they could never let it lie. Always had to get involved in stuff beyond their ken. A bloke name of Hunter S Thompson used to write for them as well, and would have pissed himself, stone cold sober, at this piece. He was rather fond of his guns you see, right up to his last moment.

Seeing as it is the weekend – almost.

This is Minnie Snodgrass trapped in a bucket. This happened in Yorkshire – this could only happen in Yorkshire. It is like Compo going down a hill in a bath. More generally it is just so Carry On. You can imagine the scene with Babs Windsor having a “bra malfunction”, Hattie Jacques like a galleon in full sail forcing Kenneth Williams into a corner and Jim Dale doing 80mph on a motorised floor cleaner through an exit into a laundry van – you know the drill. I can hear the ghostly laughter of dear old Sid James*.

The kid was rescued totally OK after A&E called in the firemen with their cutting gear. But that bucket! It is enough to wrinkle Norah Batty’s stockings.

*Rather a good straight actor in his day.

Learning To Think Like A Progressive

Steve Goddard tells us how.

Learning To Think Like A Progressive

Posted on June 23, 2014 by stevengoddard

Progressives do everything they can to drive young men insane, by repressing all normal male behavior and telling teens that they are destroying the planet by driving their car.

Then when teenage boys go completely insane and kill their peers with knives, cars, explosives and guns, progressives jump to the obvious conclusion that the madness could have been prevented by punishing duck hunters.

So that’s why we’re out already!

President Barack Obama, mistaken for England football defender Chris Smalling

Fuck me! even our Spivs are bleedin useless.

Some observations of foreign types in crowds

There was some strange behaviour outside my hotel this evening, instead of the usual languid European-style pavement restaurant with a few, mainly elderly residents enjoying their café under an iridescent evening sun as a few blonde haired goddesses drift by aimlessly on bicycles, there was a massed throng of unruly teens and drunken men filling the square in front of my hotel.

I presumed that it was some form of political protest as they were uniformly dressed alike, but apparently not, it was in fact an opportunity to get utterly paralytic on Heineken served in plastic cups while watching a giant TV screen erected at the end of the not-so-very-grand place. I initially presumed they were there to watch the local version of “America’s Next One Hit Wonder” or whatever it is called in The Land of Clogs.

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