“I only regret that I have but one asterisk for my country.”
–Nathan Hale (paraph.)
This is what happens to persons who go looking at dictionaries. One thing leads to another, and the next thing you know Oz & environs (for some large-ish value of “environs”) have to put up with dreadful(ly good) puns. Tsk!
Credit where it’s due: A comment from “Wal Webster” at Dictionary.com, to a brief history of the ampersand:
Wal Webster – December 19, 2014 – 4:08 am
Reminds me of that other much-misrepresented character, the *, which was allegedly going to be renamed the “nathan” back in 1976, in bicentennial honour of the great American patriot, Nathan Hale, whose last words were said to have been along the lines of, “I only regret that I have but one asterisk for my country.”
So our CCIZ prize for complete and utter twat of the week, goes to Dafyyd Iwan, a former President of Plaid Cymru and folk singer in his own right, though if I remember rightly, having heard him play a few times, his voice sounds like a goose fart in the fog, rather than the majestic instrument possessed by Thomas the Voice, wants the Welsh Rugby Union to ban the singing of Tom Jones Delilah at Welsh Rugby matches because it encourages violence against women.
The song is a huge favourite at Welsh matches, and yes it is about a Crime Passionnel, but then the French used to let you off for this until they changed the law back in 1970, and frankly if you ban Delilah where do you stop? Hang down your head Tom Dooley? Which I heard Lonny Donagan belting out in the 50’s, or Billy Holliday’s Strange Fruit? The list is endless.
Hell, you may as well ban Tom’s Green Green Grass of Home too, as it is all about the singer going to the Gallows (presumably for murdering Delilah) not a nostalgic homecoming to The Land of My Fathers…
Sometimes I think that the world has gone completely insane, but when I read stories such as this, I know it has.
Some po faced leftie feminist harridan has written to the BBC to complain about one of its longest running and most popular radio comedy shows. I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue has been running for over 40 years now, but this sad bitch has decided that the imaginary scorer Samantha, who has been a running joke throughout those 40 years is being treated as a sex object.
‘She considered that Samantha was only referred to as a sexual object and believed the male panellists used ‘schoolboy sexist so-called humour’, that was ‘both puerile and unfunny’.’
But what I find insane is that the BBC took any time whatsoever in investigating this miserablist drivel. Surely this should have been passed straight to the BBC’s Department of Sarcastic Replies….
Dear Ms Redacted,
Thank you for your letter of the 14th Inst. I have passed your letter on to our Head of Comedy and he has had a damn good laugh. He is sorry if you find I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue full of “schoolboy sexist so called humour” but we feel we must appeal to all demographics without bias or favour, and we find that sexist schoolboy humour has a very large following.
May I suggest some remedies that could alleviate your disgust and distress? Try tuning in to another station that may chime better with your sense of gravitas, or perhaps using our iPlayer facility to find comedy more suited to your taste, something featuring Alexi Sayle perhaps? Or ultimately you could use the off button on your radio.
I am refunding you your Licence Fee, in the hope that you may put it towards what I am sure will be a futile attempt to purchase a sense of humour.
But you just know that the sad Harpie will be back next week complaining that Mornington Crescent doesn’t make sense…
The above is in relation to a UK political storm in a teacup where the nominally socialist Labour MP’s are charged with looking down on the working class, ergo “Snobbishness”.
A liberal paradise would be a place where everybody has guaranteed employment, free comprehensive healthcare, free education, free food, free housing, free clothing, free utilities, and only law enforcement has guns.”
And believe it or not, such a place does, indeed, exist……………….
It’s called prison.”
– –Sheriff Joe Arpaio*
Maricopa County, Arizona
*[attrib., unverified; private e-mail]