Down below, Paul has written a post about the “fall of the Moron civilisation”, and a very good post it is too. It describes how a certain South American civilisation, facing the invasion of the Conquistadores, responded by, er, killing their own people and setting fire to their pyramids, which turned out not to be [...]
Posts under ‘That's life’
Epic Fails
So I switch on BBC News and it is the funeral of Vaclav Havel. And you know what these rolling news things are like. In the left pane of the screen is “Live From Prague: Vaclav Havel’s funeral” and in a smaller right pane they have on shuffle Mr Havel’s “greatest hits” - Mr Havel, [...]
If WWII happened now…
…I think we’d hear about it like this.
H/T Infidel753
PC World
I’m typing this on my wife’s new Lenovo IdeaPad (S205). Lovely little machine. OK it’s on spesh offer at PC World in Stockport. Now normally I hate dealing with PC World but it’s a good deal and damn it she wanted it. So we’d looked at the netbooks and I think it’s the best deal [...]
Back to the future…
I accidentally saw some of Jools Holland’s show on TV tonight.
There was some bugger who had his first record for 13 years. “Lazy fucker” opined the missus*. I said it sounded like ZZ Top and added the truly remarkable fact that whilst ZZ Top are noted for the beards of the two front men [...]
Schadenfreude
Now I make no apologies for saying I hate the Co-op. The Co-op doesn’t even pretend to compete on price or service. It competes on Righteousness. Having said that it is a necessary weevil because where I live there is a butcher, a baker, a deli, a bakery and a newsagent and the Co-op. Now [...]
A Certain Age
My mother is now back in Blighty. She saw her dream lover on the boards in New York. She said she was a bit miffed because he wasn’t eaxctly love’s young dream. Yup, Al Pacino was playing Shylock which is not generally considered a romantic lead…
My mother has a thing for Mr Pacino. I like [...]
“A rigid feminine pleasure device”.
GURNEE, Ill. — Suburban Chicago police said a woman who allegedly skipped out on a restaurant tab was arrested after allegedly attacking a police officer with a sex toy.
A police incident report said Carolee Bildsten, 56, of Gurnee, allegedly left a Joe’s Crab Shack restaurant in the town without paying Tuesday and an officer went [...]
Lightbulbs
We had the electricians round this morning.
Guess what?
Compact fluorescents interfere with T-loops for the hard of hearing.
So you can have the deaf or the Green but not both. It’s an either / or.
Guess what decision my wife made (I was still in my pants) but it involves tungsten….
Modern Life
During the evening Wilkinson texted Mr Lord whilst they were in the living room together and the messages became intimate.
You know there was a time when that might have seemed odd but then nowadays there’s an app for that.
Shamelessly stolen from JuliaM.
Runaway Horses
So… I’m on the phone tonight arranging a trip into town for Manchester Pride tomorrow and I hand it over to the missus to arrange the details with our mate (she’d spoken to him before on the subject). And he mentions - in passing - that he was there last night and that Belinda Carlisle [...]
Wookey Hole
Now I thought that was just a polite way of explaining how Han Solo relieved sexual tension on those long, long flights when Leia had the painters in.
I was wrong.
A witch at Wookey Hole caves is facing disciplinary action after her boss spotted her on X Factor when she was supposed to be [...]
Try everything once except…
When Allaetin Can, a kebab shop owner, appeared in court on Thursday, a judge adjourned the case and ordered police to watch a DVD of dancers performing the “kolbasti” then decide whether to drop the charge against him.
Officers were called after a passer-by reported seeing Mr Can hitting, kicking, and strangling his wife Elmas during [...]
Another theme
Lets hear it for the many attractions of Disneyland.
Trawling the net
How would you answer this question?
“Um Mom, what is a stripper and what’s a pube?”
