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Cat blogging

The Curious Incident…

A few weeks ago I was awakened by an ungodly mewling at an ungodly hour. So I stick my dressing gown on and fetch the torch for I knew it is Timmy (the cat) and he very clearly was very far from gruntled. So I search the house. No sign. So, I put my trainers on and head outside. We have a large garden and I’m hunting for a black cat in the dark with not much more than an old dressing gown (under my clothing I was wearing little or nothing, ladies), a pretty poor torch and a pair of trainers that cost 8 quid in Decathlon in Stockport. I thought fuck it! Did Ernest Shackleton quit on South Georgia? No he fucking didn’t! I was also still somewhat Brahms from last night’s debauch but kitty needed to be rescued and I was the only game in town for that and cats can make an appalling amount of noise for little creatures. And fuck it, Timmy has been my mate for years.

Two thoughts occurred to me. The first was, “If the rozzers are abroad and I am collared at 3 am wearing nowt but a dressing gown, Primark underwear and cheap trainers and carrying a torch wandering like an unquiet spirit of the damned in a domestic area I’m gonna end up in Strangeways. “Right sir, you were looking for a black cat at night – Get in the back of the van!. Second after that was lines from Eliot’s “Journey of the Magi”…

A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears, saying
That this was all folly.

That is life. Sometimes you have to go out in a dressing gown through the glom of nit whilst still half-pissed and wearing cheap trainers to look for a black cat in the dark.

I eventually found Timmy. He was in the connected Meeting House. I searched it as a place of last resort because I – to this day – have no idea how the fuck he got in (or why? To read the Bibles?*).

He curled up on my lap and I gave him a pouch of salmon and trout. I played with him for a bit. He might be a daft bugger but he is a comrade. And that is what matters.

Then I went back to bed.

*Quite a few years back me and a confederate fitted a projection screen in the Meeting House. This meant moi going into the attic for the bolts and such (he was a lot older so I did that). It is a very old building so I thought I might find something on this excursion – I mean in the Indy Jones fashion. I did. I found a magazine rack and an NHS commode chair (stained). But we must remain curious because you never know do you?

Living up to the name…

I rattle on about Argentinian writers and Paul skewers Fichte. It is getting a bit intellectual round this gaff…


RIP Dennis 2003 – 2014

Otherwise known as Miaow Miaow (by my bestest girl), Cat, or that @^&*^^* cat.
One fewer kitties to kount.


Thirty minutes ago, total kidney failure.

Kitty had been ill for some time, he almost died from kidney failure some months ago, but days on a drip flushed the toxins and he came home. He spent six months on a salt free diet, poor thing – he was desperate for some tasty food – but all to no avail. The problem recurred. This time, unhappily, nothing could be done.

Miaow Miaow bye bye.

Never say “Impossible.”

34 sec., in, out, done!

PS. One commenter’s observation, not too far down the page, elicits a discussion worth noting:

Peggy Larson
1 month ago

Please check the collar on that kitten. Often owners don’t loosen collars as the kitten grows and it strangles them. See this a lot in my vet clinic.

To Whoever Hacked Our Site…

We’re Coming to get ya!

Cats – A 21st Century Anachronism

Cats was recently commenting on his difficulties with getting his cat Dennis to eat consistently and it occurred to me that even though I like cats (Felis silvestris catus as well as the Brisbane based blogging human variety), they are something of an anachronism in the 21st century.

The domestication of cats (if such a thing can ever be said to have occurred) took place at least 5,300 years ago based upon the most recent evidence from China and in reality possibly much earlier than that, possibly as soon as humans began storing sufficient grain for it to attract mice and rats, at which point the cats congregated to eat the mice, or at least so the theory goes and gradually became domesticated and relatively tame around humans. (more…)

Site down

Just to let you all know, the site disappearing over night had nothing to do with equipment failing.

Problem description:  While Australia slept the cat knocked the router off the shelf and the cable fell out.

Temporary solution:  Plug the cable back in and leave the router on the floor.

Long term solution:  Shoot cat.

Source of the problem


The naming of cats

My cat was called Cat, until my sister renamed him Dennis.

Norris the Cat Burglar

dishcloths, dusters, dust mitts, sports bras, support pants, jumpers, T-shirts, boxer shorts, a bath mat, half a pizza, an unopened tube of gravy paste, a German sausage, jumpers, slippers, socks, oven gloves…

No cuddly toy it would appear otherwise that could be the stuff on the conveyor belt of the Albanian edition of  The  Generation Game. It is though amongst the  ill-gotten gains of Norris, a two year old tabby from  Bedminster, Bristol.

The Guardian takes-up the story of his rather light-pawed miscreant and his somewhat disconcerted owners valet and housekeeper…

If the items are too big to bring in through the cat flap at home, Norris leaves them on the mat in the back garden. His owners, Richard and Sophie Windsor, believe that Norris is taking items from washing lines and have now written to their neighbours to apologise.

“Dear neighbours,” their letter says, “This is a slightly embarrassing note to have to write but during his travels throughout the neighbourhood, our cat, Norris, has brought back an assortment of items.

“Unlike most cats, Norris isn’t too interested in the local wildlife but has taken to straight-up theft. In some cases he’s literally been there and got the T-shirt.”

They say it was at first amusing, but “recently his habit has intensified and we now have a growing pile of stolen goods which need returning to you good people of Bedminster.”


“If you’ve ‘misplaced’ anything of any monetary value and would like it returned then please give us a nudge on [email] or [telephone number]. We’ll have a dig through his growing hoard and drop them back to you. Apologies if you’ve been affected. Best wishes, Rich and Soph.”

|Richard Windsor, 26, a graphic designer, told the Bristol Post: “So far we have been able to reunite a number of items with their owners including a towel set, some oven gloves, a bath mat, some baby clothes and some running gear.

“Fortunately all our neighbours have been very good-natured about it and think it’s funny.”

Well, my little Timmy hasn’t done anything quite like that yet. His vice is fighting other cats and stealing their food. And he doesn’t fight by the Marquis of Queensbury Rules either. I have seen him leap on some kitty back in his time whilst shrieking like a banshee.

Right little buggers, cats.




Kitten Nearly Dies

Now this, from Melbourne….

Kitten nearly dies from vegan diet

Lort Smith Vet Leanne Pinfold says cats should be fed a proper diet. She is pictured with Roger, who is well-fed and available for adoption. Source: News Limited

A KITTEN has almost died after its owners fed it a strict vegan diet.

The horrific case at a North Melbourne animal hospital has prompted a warning about the dangers of people “forcing ideologies” on their pets.

Lort Smith Animal Hospital veterinarian Leanne Pinfold said the kitten was brought in this month by its owners, who were believed to be vegan.

She said the kitten’s diet of potatoes, rice milk and pasta had caused it to become critically ill.

“It was extremely weak and collapsed when it came in. It was almost non-responsive,” Dr Pinfold said.

The kitten was given fluids via a drip, placed on a heat pad and fed meat.

It remained in hospital for three days after which the kitten’s owners were given meat to feed their pet at home, she said.
Dr Pinfold said as obligate or true carnivores, cats needed meat to survive.

She said people who wanted a pet that did not eat meat should consider other animals, such as rabbits.

“Concern for animal welfare has to include a biologically-appropriate diet,” she said. “You can’t force your ideology on the cat.

“Carnivores will seek out meat and your cat is possibly more likely to go hunting and kill local native fauna if you deprive it of meat.”

Dr Pinfold said she had not come across a similar case in her 11 years as a veterinarian.


Grumpy Cat Has an Agent, and Now a Movie Deal

“Mr. Lashes, 34 years old, is an agent for Internet cats.”


For a Percentage, Agent Turns Internet Fame Into Cash


Some celebrities simply cannot be pleased. Just ask Ben Lashes, a talent manager in Los Angeles. This week, he landed a major motion-picture deal for a client who nine months ago was an unknown living in Morristown, Ariz., population 227.

Grumpy Cat

When he told his client that she was heading to Hollywood, she looked bored. “She hates movies,” says Mr. Lashes of his client, Grumpy Cat ….

Read about this hot new career initiative, view photos and check comments at

And then, go read John Scalzi’s SF novel Agent to the Stars. Believe me, it’s pertinent to the present topic!

Site down

To all concerned, and even to those who don’t give a toss…

Damn, but I am sorry the site was down.

While I was away the site collapsed, and I couldn’t get in to check the problem. When I finally got my hands on it all, after I got back, I found that the router was dead, dead as a really dead thing living in the centre of deadlands. Further, my remote pair of hands, who I had left in charge of doing stuff if anything went wrong, was in hospital, with the doctors wondering each day if he would be laughing and smiling the next, or pushing up daisies instead.

He is out now in case you were wondering.

My bad for not sticking in a new router before I left.

This is a heading

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We died

You may have heard about the weather we bin gettin here on the Pacific coast of Australia, but, then again, you may not. Whatever.

Yesterday we had a blackout. Whether it was down to the weather I don’t know, but there have been a few since the beginning of the year.

Anyway, this wasn’t a long blackout, and everything came back pretty toot sweet. Or, most of it did. The Cats firewall threw up all over the carpet and we all ceased counting while I cleaned up the mess.

I got on with the task of building a new one, from scratch.


Happy New Year Y’all!

Well do the best you can in the circumstances , eh?

Some of you will be seeing it in with Jools’ Hootenanny, but I give you this…


Counting Cats lyrics and sentiments for the New Year…

“Cause talk and suspicion, give an exhibition, find out what it’s all about…”

And you can’t whack Garcia in full lyrical flow, now can you?

Love RAB

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