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Cunts

The Vulture Award

The VA (aka Vacuous Arsehole) is a new award given to politicians, or just about anyone in public office, for making mortuary mileage out of a tragic demise.

The first winner of this prestigious medal is Maria Eagle, Labour MP for Garston and Halewood, for attempting to link yeserday’s appalling attack on, and subsequent death of, Labour MP Jo Cox,  a supporter of Remain, to the Brexit campaign.  Eagle is also awarded the DSB (Distinguished Steward’s Bar) for being lower than a worm’s anus; a stone hearted bitch who puts politics before whatever shred of humanity she might possess.

Someone should take Eagle aside and explain that you never go full retard, especially before the facts are known.  Contemptible actions by individuals like Eagle, to name but one of many, are the reason the public despises and distrusts so many politicians.

Feel free to make your own nominations for the award.  The field is target rich after all.

 

I probably don’t need to say it but I’m going to anyway.  Our thoughts are with Jo’s family and friends.  The senseless violence that took her from this world and her loved ones cannot go unpunished.  The person responsible should be locked up for the rest of his life and the key thrown away.  No one deserves to die the way Jo Cox did.  All she was trying to do was help.  RIP Jo Cox.

John Lydon was Right…

Yes, he was. This was a man who called (as close as he could) “cuddly” family entertainers like Saville way back. John Lydon was called by the press the most dangerous risk to British kids since Hitler. There is no evidence of him ever doing that. In fact he has been married for nearly 40 years without a hint of scandal.

Three points:

The BBC is (along with the NHS) the most loved establishment in the UK (but have you seen the stuff on Sky of late?)

The BBC has a lot of vile critters who ought to be shot.

But the British have a long tradition of contrarians like Lydon and we need them. They are the counterweight to the box-tickers of the BBC who only prove how much complacent shit you can stack in a Burton’s suit.

BoJo’s Erdogan limerick in full

BoJo and the goat fucker

 There was a young fellow from Ankara,

Who was a terrific wankerer.

“Till he sowed his wild oats,

With the help of a goat,

But he didn’t even stop to thankera.

Not the greatest of poetic verse, but coming from someone who may one day be PM of an infamous Turkish great-grandfather (Ali Kemal), carries a little more weight than better written doggerel on this specific subject.

I actually prefer Douglas Murray’s efforts on the subject.

Recep Erdogan is the Turk’ll

Never tire of rim-jobs from his circle

Yet his chief-est delight

(Now Khilafa’s in sight)

Are the felchings he gets from Frau Merkel

As for myself, I was never a one for the burlesque, but if the guys from the Turkish embassy are “kicking butt and taking names” then my only contribution is that Mr. Erdogan can go fuck himself with a cactus and if he doesn’t have one to hand I am happy to supply it.

Shoddy Absurdia

Regular readers will know I have little or no time for the only country on the planet that forbids women from driving. They also stone homosexuals. I on the other hand have got stoned with homosexuals. I have also been in cars driven by women. The times we live in eh?

It’s coming out. I knew. I just knew the camel-fucking bastards were up to their fucking necks in 9/11 (and the rest).

I don’t care for their depravity but depravity is just that. Being implicit in the murder of nigh on 3000 people is another matter entirely. I don’t care if they want to make my ancestors who embuggered monks on Lindisfarne and stole their plate look civilized. But that was over a thousand years ago. Things move on. The last gift my country got from Norway was a Christmas Tree. What have we ever got from Saudi Arabia? Hatred, evil and 15/19 on 9/11.

The time has come…

We build nuclear because Saudi you have nothing but oil. Nothing. I mean nothing. Let’s put this bluntly. This is not Islamophobia – oh, no! This is straight horror at our bending-over for a vile regime. I have visited some of the great Mosques of the World. I was treated with respect and I showed them respect.

I have dirty little secret. I do. I like photographing religious buildings and Islam does seem much more amenable than Catholics for example.

This is not Islam. This is an unspeakably corrupt regime we have enabled.

This has to end. Now.

Embarrassing Bodies

A short few years back I flicked onto a show called, “Embarrassing Bodies” on C4.

I watched dumb-founded not just because I saw it as a C21st freak-show (which it is of course) but because I couldn’t work it out. The central idea was that people with complaints too embarrassing to see a GP (or whatever) were OK to be seen by the travelling circus of Dr Christian and Dr Pixie* instead.

I hated the communal showers after PE as a kid (I am not the only one for whom this is the case – far from) and the only person in this World of 7.x billion people I feel OK being naked in front of is my wife. Obviously. I don’t buy the whole Germanic Nazi gym mistress “Health and Efficiency” schtick. One of the most bizarre sights I ever saw was in Yugoslavia (as was) on a beach. A late middle-aged geezer was offering boat trips and, as it was “clothing optional” and he was nearly starkers. I mean nearly because whilst he was fully cock’n'balls to the breeze because he would be the Captain of your lugger the only garment he was wearing was a captain’s hat. My mother laughed so hard she almost died. No wonder a couple of years later they had a brutal civil war. For to quote John Rotten, “There was fuck all else to do”.

Nudity is obviously our natural state but we haven’t been natural since Ugg- the Person of Cave – thought of bringing fire inside the cave. It’s called culture and nakedness is special only because it is not broadcast. This is not argument against nude art or even porn (quite the reverse) but if nudity is “normalized” then what’s left? An MRI scan – have you seen Miley Cyrus’s pancreas yet? It is also natural to die from simple infections but we have antibiotics and stuff now. It’s called “Civilization”. So is taking 300 people in a 200 tonne metal bird from Manchester to Philadelphia but somehow Boeing manage it. Actually my last trans-Atlantic was on an A330 but they are much of a muchness. Perhaps that is the point. True genius is to make something amazing mundane. Doesn’t apply to incongruous nudity mind. That is making the amazing mundane.

So, if I may get back to my point. I think there is something very odd about a society were people are afraid to show their “bits” to a doctor in a private space but OK if it is on broadcast media. I mentioned the C4 show started a bit back but just recently ITV have chimed in with Jeremy Kyle’s Emergency Room.

And I thought Jeremy Kyle in and of himself was more than enough grotesquely enlarged bollocks. Truly he is the only pigeon-chested abattoir-creeper who keeps Piers Morgan from the very nadir of the cunt-list.

*No, I am not making the names up. One sounds like something from “Pilgrim’s Progress” and the other like… “Dr Pixie will see you now…”. Arrgh!!! I mean Dr Smith or Dr Jones or Dr Patel… But Dr Pixie? I’d rather see the “Wise Woman” and pay extra for the cackling. Having said that a couple of hours on the flet with Galadriel would about see me right. Insert your own Nenya joke here.

Beyond the Swedish Model

All Parliamentary Group on Prostitution

British men who use prostitutes while abroad on stag parties should be prosecuted in the UK under new laws that make paying for sex illegal, according to a report backed by a senior MP.

Sex tourists and businessmen who pay for prostitutes on expense accounts would also be criminalised under the proposals in the Sex Buyer Law report published today.

The report, commissioned for the All-Party Parliamentary Group (APPG) on Prostitution by the campaigning group End Demand, says payment for sex in the UK should be made illegal and recommends Parliament “strongly considers” extending the offence to payments abroad.

Sex tourists who pay for prostitutes abroad ‘should face prosecution in UK’ (Independent)

So not only are we talking about the government proposing to turn the dynamics of the sex trade upside down and making what is already a grey area in UK law actually illegal (for the men so desperate for a shag that they have to lay out cold hard cash for it), but we are also going to criminalise that which other countries have already decriminalised and some of them (like Germany) only relatively recently.

How’s that going to work then? PC Plod & co. outside the whorehouses of Old Amsterdam then? No. Thought not. Just because the US Government thinks they can get away with extra-territoriality (one of the worst aspects of good old British colonial justice), the UK’s own Social Justice Warriors want a slice of the action.

Whilst this is allegedly meant to “help” your average streetwalker in that she can no longer get done by the police for soliciting (and therefore presumably no longer has to do “favours” for the boys in blue to turn a blind eye to her activities), what will not help her is if the “Johns” are too shit scared to approach her for fear of being arrested for what is already a somewhat fraught exchange at best.

As with drugs the current model of legalisation used in Holland and Germany strikes the right balance between allowing the ladies to go about their business in a non-threatening environment with tax being collected and their health being monitored.

The Swedish model does none of that, it simply persecutes the male (who are the primary purchasers of sex), without providing any other benefit in the name of “reducing demand” because of over-exaggerated claims of “sex trafficking”.

The authors of this report, the All Party Parliamentary Group on Prostitution should be all given “a short drop and a sudden stop” preferably with hempen ropes, because it is the only way to stop this sort of bansturbating nonsense.

Christ on an electrically charged moped give me strength.

Campaign to save the common-or-garden idiot

Life is hard - especially if youre stupid

THE Swansea woman who posted a grossly offensive comment about Down’s Syndrome on Facebook in a hate crime has been handed a suspended prison sentence.

Ursula Presgrave cut and pasted a comment from a website saying people with the condition should be put down – promoting what was described in court as a “tsunami” of responses online, including death threats.

Swansea Magistrates Court heard that people complained to South Wales Police about the message, and the 23-year-old was arrested.

Presgrave, of Talfan Road, Bonymaen, had previously pleaded guilty to sending an offensive message by means of a public communications network when she appears before justices today for sentencing.

Call Centre’s Ursula Presgrave given suspended sentence for Facebook Down Syndrome comments

Is society going to collapse because a Z-List celebrity and newly inducted member of the hasbeenerati placed her foot in mouth and posted a comment on LifeInvader sorry FaceBook that the perpetually offended are (quelle surpise) offended by? In short No.

How many children with Down’s Syndrome were led to their deaths because of this woman? Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nil. None. The square root of sweet fuck all.

Ergo, who are her victims? what is the real crime here? because if we exclude the world of the SJW’s, the ‘Perpetually Offended of Tumblr Wells” then the only guidance that we can receive from this posting of Ursula Presgrave is that she is a narcissistic idiot. The last time I looked in the Hansard index, being an idiot was not a crime, more a state of being.

In all fairness, I am in favour of the exposure of idiots, indeed it is one of the great pleasures of modern society that idiots, like prophets are self-announced and seldom recognized in their own country.

Jeremy Corbyn is an idiot, still supporting the Marxist / Leninist diatribe despite 70-years of Communism clearly demonstrating that it doesn’t work. Do we silence his monumental acts of idiocy over Trident or support for Hamas? No – we splatter it across the pages of the daily newspapers so that we can reveal his idiocy for all to see, we don’t sentence Jeremy for having offensive views (certainly I find pretty much everything about Jeremy offensive), so where do we draw the line?

The Common-or-garden idiot in mating plumage

The common-or-garden idiot (also known as the female “lesser spotted tattooed fuckwit”) in mating plumage 

Are some kind of idiots worth saving because of prestige or is it only the common-or-garden idiot that needs to be ground into the dust? Maybe this is just elitism in another form? Jeremy Corbyn – another string to your bow perhaps?

In light of this, I think it is time to start a campaign, write to our MP’s and let them know – the common-or-garden idiot should not be persecuted for its behaviour; it should be brought out into the sunshine and lauded for the depth of its ignorance and stupidity.

Save the Idiot!

Dear Home Secretary – Get Stuffed!

web-snoop

The home secretary, Theresa May, this week invited the biggest US internet firms and British telecoms providers to a meeting to seek their support for the legislation, officially known as the draft communications data bill.

The legislation is expected to include powers that will require firms to collect and store for 12 months the browsing history of users, along with records of voice calls, messages and text services. It might also require firms to give the police and security services access to the data.

But requirements to store browsing history can do nothing if the communications are encrypted, as are an increasing proportion of online services. More and more web surfing is done through a secure connection, represented on the web to the user by the https prefix in a browser address bar.

UK war on encryption will struggle without the US onside

Now don’t get me wrong, the chances are that the Home Secretary (equivalent to the Minister of the Interior / Homeland Security), may be either being really clever or really dumb. Given past experience of politicians I would go for the latter…in fact really, really dumb would be closer to the truth.

The reason why we have switched to more-and-more sites being https:// as opposed to http:// (i.e. unsecured) is more about being perceived to be secure than actually caring about being secure.

I remember having this conversation at my .com business in 1998 and the argument was along the lines of “If we switch from http:// to https:// we can bang on about how secure customer data is based upon it being encrypted rather than the fact we are flogging our customer mailing list to all and sundry for 40p a name”.

Now don’t get me wrong, those were cynical times and I was (and still am) a cynical person, even though I exited the Internet business in Autumn 2001.

Nevertheless, for a small but significant part of the population (i.e. those with > 50% of their brain functioning), they will object to Frau May’s suggestion and indeed will ratchet up their encryption levels accordingly (as in continuously connecting to a non-UK VPN as I and many others already do to bypass such draconian intrusion).

Those who are in the terrorist business already will be using ‘alternative means’ of communication anyway, so the only people likely to be caught out by this are the idiotic self-radicalised Muslims who are looking to bomb their way to paradise and a golden palace filled with virgins (gender unspecified).

I wonder how long it will take for some crowd sourced app site to come up with “F*ckTheSnoopers” app, which generates 10,000 fake URL requests for every real one, whereby actual activity would be drowned out by a dense fog of noise and bullshit.

….because she’s worth it…every penny and every URL…

Lord Hall’s Dirty Little Secret

Council Tax bill 2013/2014 for property dwelling band F with 25% discount for sole adult resident

Hat tip to the TV Licensing blog

Speaking on BBC1′s the Andrew Marr Show, Lord Hall also said a “household tax” – as proposed by the Culture, Media and Sport Select Committee – is a “very interesting idea”.

He added there is broad agreement for the licence fee to be reformed to ensure “everyone is paying equally for it and I would go along with that”.

BBC boss Tony Hall says TV licence fee will last another 10 years

Some will find Lord Hall’s admission that there is no long-term future for the UK’s antiquated “Telly Tax” a refreshing volte-face from the BBC Chief, but the reality is that he needs to protect BBC revenues as well as addressing growing criticism of how TV Licensing operates, specifically:

  • The regressive nature of the TV License which, at an annual cost of £145.50 ($230 USD, $300 AUD) disproportionately affects the poor as it relates to households rather than income.
  • For non-compliant households (both scoff-laws and “TV Refuseniks” who genuinely don’t require a license), sending out threatening letters and visits by Capita goons generates endless bad PR.
  • Those jailed for non-payment of court imposed fines for TV License evasion are primarily poor women (a staggering 73% of all TV License related convictions)

So it is for these reasons, as well as a desire to silence those proposing a mixed public-service/subscription only model, that Lord Hall is suddenly open and honest about the need for change. In fact I suspect that “revenue neutrality” will be the foundation stone, but that will be revenue neutral from the BBC’s perspective – not the “hard-working families” who have to pay for the BBC’s largess.

The model that Lord Hall is proposing is a “Household Tax” and he is suggesting that it be simply added as a line item on Council Tax bills across the nation. Councils would then remit the money to the Department for Culture, Media and Sport – which then sends the bulk of that money directly to the BBC (less some smaller scale payments to other media companies for their public service commitments)

On the face of it, since the “Telly Tax” is essentially a household tax anyway (save for those ½ million-or-so “TV Refuseniks”), so bundling it as a £145.50 line item within the Council Tax would mean:

  • All costs associated with TV License collection would be eliminated (about £100 million per annum) along with the bad PR associated with threatening letters, visiting Capita goons and those poor women jailed for non-payment of court imposed fines for TV License evasion.
  • Collection would revert to local councils, so any refusal to pay would be classified as Council Tax rather than TV License related evasion.
  • The ½ million or so “TV Refuseniks” would be forced to pay regardless as I suspect ”not watching TV as it is broadcast” would cease to be a valid reason to refuse payment. This is a growing problem for the BBC and would “Send the right message” (as in “Fuck you – pay me.”)

However, the one thing which this approach would not deal with (or at least not on the surface), is the accusation that “a fixed fee of £145.50 disproportionately affects the poor”. Here I expect that the provisions covering Council Tax Reduction (previously known as Council Tax Benefit), will be extended to include the TV License component.

So if those in receipt of a Council Tax Reduction are no longer actually paying the cost of their TV License then who will? If your answer to that particular rhetorical question was “Muggins ‘ere”, then I suspect you are correct. :-)

Given a “Revenue Neutral” approach (from the BBC’s perspective), any shortfall would have to be made up from an increase in either general taxation (income tax, etc.) or Council Tax.

Given that the OECD classifies the TV License as “a hypothecated tax for the purpose of funding public broadcasting“, neither approach would increase the overall tax versus GDP (one of Chancellor George “Gideon” Osborne favourite metrics), but I expect the new legislation preventing increases in general taxation to be used to add it onto the Council Tax bill.

Thus those eponymous “hard working families” who actually pay their Council Tax bills in full will be paying a hidden and unknown  element to cover those who can’t pay / won’t pay.

Now you can see why Lord “Marxist” Hall is in favour of a “Household Tax” as it has the potential to solve all his current problems…Except BBC profligacy and left-wing bias obviously.

Has the Septic Bladder finally burst?

We are going to be hearing a lot more of this story over the weeks and months, but the funny thing is it will come as no surprise to anyone with a brain cell left in their heads. We all knew that FIFA was corrupt to the core and all its Grandees bent as a nine bob note. The world’s most popular, simple and most profitable sport is now mired in sleaze so deep it may never recover.

And it comes to something when it is down to America and the FBI to shift the shit out of the Augean Stables, a country that barely plays the game. I have always been nonplussed at the fact that the rulers of this “Beautiful Game” have always appeared to be people who have never kicked a ball and would have trouble explaining the offside rule. What are they doing it for? Well now we know, hard cash, power and Jolly’s.

Next I would like to see an audit of the United Nation’s books, and tanks surrounding the  EU Parliament in Brussels, but I won’t be holding my breath on those.

Nightmare on Threadneedle street…

Cop a load of this my fellow Kitty Counters…

I have known in my water that the “Powers that be” have been itching to put this into practice for ages. Well they think they can control the weather with micro management don’t they? So why not Macro and Micro Economics, which after all, really is a man made science, albeit a dismal one. And boy is the future dismal if this marxist fuckwit gets his wish.

A proposed new law in Denmark could be the first step towards an economic revolution that sees physical currencies and normal bank accounts abolished and gives governments futuristic new tools to fight the cycle of “boom and bust”.

The Danish proposal sounds innocuous enough on the surface – it would simply allow shops to refuse payments in cash and insist that customers use contactless debit cards or some other means of electronic payment.

No they don’t sound innocuous at all, they stink of socio/fascist Totalitarianism

But the move could be a key moment in the advent of “cashless societies”. And once all money exists only in bank accounts – monitored, or even directly controlled by the government – the authorities will be able to encourage us to spend more when the economy slows, or spend less when it is overheating.

What this means is that your hard earned money is no longer your own, the Government can confiscate chunks of it at their leisure and whim. What of aspiration and striving for a better future? What of individual choice? What will be the point of trying to get ahead if the “Ahead” you had in mind is going to be confiscated?

It will get worse than that though. All your purchases will be computerised, and if you stray from the 5 fruits a day, no more than 24 units of alcohol a week, 6 cheeseburgers? (are you insane??) Smoker??? then you will find that the bansturbators in power will refuse  your purchase, and there will be nothing you can do about it. Then you  truly will be a drone.

This is one of the most evil articles I have read for a long time, and make no mistake, they are serious about this. Go read the article… the blandishments try to ameliorate the deadening impact of what is being proposed with positives like…

Apart from the control over the economy, there would be many other advantages of a cashless society. Such a system is much cheaper to run than one based on banknotes and coins. Forgery is impossible, as are robberies.

Electronic money is an inclusive and convenient system, giving poor and rural sectors of an economy – where cash machines and bank branches may be few and far between and not all people have accounts – a tool for easy participation in the economy.

But there is one hope… Even if they get their way, human ingenuity will find a way round it. But why the fuck should we have to?

Redefining Diversity

Goldsmiths University London

[TRIGGER WARNING: The following blog post contains irony and may be triggering for special little snowflakes]

A student group has been accused of sexism and racism for banning all men and white people from attending an equality event.

Goldsmiths University student union have been slammed after refusing to allow anybody that isn’t a non-white female from attending the event – organised to protest against inequality and celebrate racial unity.

White people and men told ‘please don’t come’ to student protest against inequality

Just when I thought the legions of Social Justice Warriors (aka SJW’s) couldn’t get any worse, they keep proving me wrong. It’s a bit like the old adage, “If you make something idiot proof, god will just make a better idiot”.

(more…)

Febrile Demonrats

This includes the Liberals (and goes back as my limited knowledge of political history does – Someone might have made a particularly good quip to Lord Palmerston but like whatever…)

Oh, God’s I’m also including the Alliance. Remember them?

But this is how I see it at the top…

Gladstone – A decent sort but a bit nuts round the edges. I have chewed that description over – 32 times. Especially the nuts.

He was OK

Lloyd-George – Randy Welsh git.

Nobody springs to mind…

Thorpe – Had a contract killing carried out on a dog.

Smith – I like my peados super-sized. Do they put something in the Rochdale water? I blame the CIA.

Steele – Whatever? Had an affair as well but nobody cared. Exactly.

Owen – The most arrogant and pompous tool of gittery since the fall of the Roman Empire. I once rolled a joint on his kitchen counter. That is true. My host – his house-keeper – a South African working on a pittance on a working holiday visa had invited me for the weekend whilst the Owens – as was their want – abandoned the gaff for their country place for the weekend and we all know what the mice do when the cats are away.

Ashdown – Became more popular after it turned out he’d been cheating on the missus because it meant he had some interest.

Ming – Anyone fancy a Werther’s Original? Thought not.

Hughes – Whilst getting his seat in Bermondsey in ’83 smeared his opponent (Peter Tatchell) with vaguely disguised homophobic rhetoric but himself turned out to be a life-long botter.

Oaten – Discovered the cure for anxiety over male-pattern baldness that has alluded the greatest minds since like whenever by deciding to have two rent boys defecate upon him. They have variously been reported as Polish or Ukrainian like it matters who shits on you. With science the devil is always in the detail. I ought to work in a Putin joke here but I can’t.

Huhne – The Jeremy Clarkson of windfarms. A chrome-plated bell-end on platinum roller-blades (or in his case a Ford Focus the badger-noodler he truly is) and a true servant of his own and every other cuntery.

Clegg – Saints preserve us from the cactus-arsonist of direville! A lying two-faced twat’s twat of the fuller monty. A twat for all seasons.

So that is the LDs.

I am a classical liberal. These people have sold me so far down the river that I am thinking deltas.

They are just such an unbelievable collection of cunts of every description.

Chuckles – the gift that keeps on taking…

So, Prince Charles has been to Washington DC (as have I) but whilst I flew steerage in an American Airlines A330 (and had to change at Philly – the most confusing airport this side of Mars) he went in style. He went on a chartered A320 configured as a private jet that costs GBP250,000 a hop. Or approx. 800 times what I paid (hard to say exactly – there were several hops on that hoilday which included Key West). Well, I guess it evens out because he got to meet Obama and I trogged the Smithsonians until my feet hurt – badly. He got a gong for his tireless crusades (or whatever) on the environment. He almost certainly clocked more CO2 than I can manage in a fecking lifetime. And then he delivers a lecture on the environment… Because the A320 normally carries just over about 160 passengers and not just a dickhead and his moll.

But that’s OK because it is only the little people who deserve to be taxed out of the air and not the nobs and he is a nob in every sense.

Dai Dai Dai Dafyyd Iwan…

So our CCIZ prize for complete and utter twat of the week, goes to Dafyyd Iwan, a former President of Plaid Cymru and folk singer in his own right, though if I remember rightly, having heard him play a few times, his voice sounds like a goose fart in the fog, rather than the majestic instrument possessed by Thomas the Voice, wants the Welsh Rugby Union to ban the singing of Tom Jones Delilah at Welsh Rugby matches because it encourages violence against women.

The song is a huge favourite at Welsh matches, and yes it is about a Crime Passionnel, but then the French used to let you off for this until they changed the law back in 1970, and frankly if you ban Delilah where do you stop? Hang down your head Tom Dooley? Which I heard Lonny Donagan belting out in the 50’s, or Billy Holliday’s Strange Fruit? The list is endless.

Hell, you may as well ban Tom’s Green Green Grass of Home too, as it is all about the singer going to the Gallows (presumably for murdering Delilah) not a nostalgic homecoming to The Land of My Fathers…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2x-3nl5jM_w

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