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Judean Peoples Front

Craven

The retailer of “naughty things” Ann Summers has apologized over a lingerie range named “Isis”

Knickers

Not to be confused with…

Twat

London (AFP) – Adult retailer Ann Summers apologized Saturday after launching a range of lingerie named Isis — but said it did not support jihadists in Iraq and Syria and had no plans to withdraw the line.

Well, that last bit is reassuring. Not, I suspect, that Ann Summers would be especially welcome in the New Caliphate anyhow. But why apologize? An Ann Summers spokeswoman stated the decision had been made months ago and Isis is an ancient Egyptian fertility goddess which seems a fairly reasonable name for female intimate attire. I mean it’s not something a lady would wear to play football in is it*?

It remains on sale which is something, though why apologize anyway? It is admitting that “ISIS” (or “IS”) have stolen part of our culture and mythology. It is bizarrely conflating something to cover your er… with a bunch of arseholes. And that is my point, really. Are ISIS vile? Are they dangerous? Yes. Are they the greatest threat facing the USA as President Obama recently stated? Are they Hell! They are just a bunch of ragged-assed renegades on the create. They ought to be treated with the disdain they deserve and not treated like Sith Lords. By regarding them as Mordor itself we are their best recruiting sergeants because it gives spurious glamour to a collection of honour-free tossers playing at jihad.

As an aside they are currently carrying out “judicial” executions, crucifixions and amputations and “encouraging” children to watch (like Alton Towers in the sand). Of course they would regard the ladies pictured above as depraved. I have a rather different standard for depravity.

On the plus side I am reliably informed that Russia has banned such frivolous under-garments on spurious grounds of causing minge-rot or something so it would seem we are annoying the right people.

Pooty Poot and the Sand People – sounds like a dreadful band from the ’50s.

*No I haven’t seen that video. Curse you internet!!!

That’s it boys, just keep on digging…

ISIS Black Flag Brigade

The American invasion presented Mr. Baghdadi and his allies with a ready-made enemy and recruiting draw. And the American ouster of Saddam Hussein, whose brutal dictatorship had kept a lid on extremist Islamist movements, gave Mr. Baghdadi the freedom for his radical views to flourish.

U.S. Actions in Iraq Fueled Rise of a Rebel

I must admit that I nearly gave out the cockney rebel cry of “Go on my son” when I saw the West continuing to fail in it’s opposition to ISIS on the one hand and its support of the puppet-masters of Palestine on the other. Surely, hypocrisy hath no bounds…

Don’t get me wrong, I support neither one, nor the other – but the fact that the likes of Barrack Obama and David Cameron think that they can split hairs over Islam just demonstrates that they are so mired in their own hypocrisy that they can’t see it even when it is pointed out to them. The emperors new clothes and then some…

For those who have no veil over their eyes, we recognize that there is no such thing as fundamentalist Islam or liberal Islam, there is only subservience to the teachings of the prophet and that is lock, stock and barrel – from the 5-a-day kowtowing to butchering babies and Jihad. Anyone who tries telling you different is either an apologist or deluded and most liberals are both.

So I am fully supportive of the horrors of ISIS, because if Cameron, Obama and the rest of the Western elite continue to evade reality in the pursuit of votes and liberal support, they will quite quickly find that reality gives them a big, fat kick up the arse and if that happens to be from the new Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, then all the better.

There is a simple rule in life, either learn the easy way or be taught the hard way, I suspect the new Caliph has a pretty good idea which way that is going to be.

The Gazza Strip.

Apparently Twitter users have been confusing the drunkard former England footballer Paul “Gazza” Gascoigne with Gaza the place.

Maybe it is just me and I, like Gazza am from Gateshead, not Gaza but this tickles me.

Fans of former England footballer Paul Gascoigne, popularly known as ‘Gazza’, were left confused and fearing for his future as a Free Gaza campaign took off online.

Tweets with the hashtag #freegaza have been trending on Twitter in response to the violence in the Middle East, with users using their posts to urge Israeli forces to stop their assault on the Gaza Strip. The conflict, which started on July 8, has led to the deaths of more than 1,200 people.

But followers of the troubled player, who has become known for his battles with alcohol and drugs, mistakenly thought that he had been arrested and that the campaign was in support of his freedom.

And…

Pignorance has no end.

Single Acts of Lèse-majesté

The Thai Prince and Foo Foo

And totally off topic, we currently have martial law and a curfew here in Thailand, it’s very exciting. There are soldiers lolling about at road junctions, the schools are closed (yay!) and the TV is off. I just hope they don’t switch off the net as has been rumoured.

Roue le Jour

(more…)

Cooking with Nick Griffin

Yes, you heard it right. For my next trick I suspect it’ll have to be kite-surfing with the Dalai Lama.

Anyway, Nick Griffin, the now bankrupt leader of the BNP is presenting cookery shows on Youtube. I suppose it’s a bit like de-snagging LANs with Hitler. Or something. “Goering, you never told me this network was installed by a Herr Cohen!!!”. I digress and must move on because I have a 9am building a tokamak with Ant & Dec.

Anyway, here is the new Nigella in all his shambolic glory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8_HThEYP2o&noredirect=1

Well, there are things to note. I can cook and a beef casserole is one of my “signature dishes”. OK, I’m not exactly Michel Roux Jr (who is a perfidious frog, obviously – despite being a UK citizen – and my Mum fancies him!) and Mr Griffin cooked this veritable feast upon an Aga which is of course Swedish and we don’t want those Scandies coming over here with their affordable, but unfathomable furniture and their raping and pillaging of Lindisfarne (Northumberland folk-rock *shudder*) and all that. I once saw a doc about a plumber of Pakistani origin who fixed Agas. He was making a mint out of deranged cougars in Surrey who thought the path to enlightenment required the boiler from the Great Eastern chugging away in their kitchen. Anyway this guy who was doing well (and fair play) branded himself as “The Aga Khan”. It amused me.

Please watch the whole thing if you can. It is long but hilarious in parts. Some of it didn’t exactly amuse me though such as Nicky wearing a “Help for Heroes” shirt. I wonder what the Gurkhas or the many other Commonwealth troops in our armed forces think of that? Or what women make of it or how anyone who isn’t a total moron takes his advice on the need to remove the foil from a stock cube? Well the last one is funny. As are some similar “Top Tips”…

Nick Clegg has a plan…

When I first heard that the Lib-Dem “flag-ship” proposal (to distance themselves from the Tories) was a 5p levy (to go to like charidee) on placky bags I almost wet myself with mirth. God knows what William Gladstone would think. The Mash as ever has it spot-on.

PLASTIC bags are to be printed with lurid sexual imagery in a bid to discourage their use. Tesco bags will carry an image of a dwarf having sex with a trumpet, while Sainsbury’s carriers will feature a manga-style orgy involving sexy animals.

A government spokesman said: “A detailed design showing a woodland creature getting wanked off will do much more to reduce plastic consumption than a paltry 5p charge.

“Shoppers will stop and think ‘do I really need this bag enough that I am prepared to walk through town carrying a picture of a squirrel with a massive erection?’”

Mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “It’s a good idea in principle but yesterday I forgot my ‘bag for life’ at Morrison’s so the checkout girl gave me carriers showing male bikers stroking each other’s bits.

“Now my children want leather jackets for Christmas.”

The spokesman added: “We’ve made an exception with Waitrose bags. Waitrose shoppers will simply be offered Lidl bags, or nothing at all.”

Shopper Roy Hobbs said: “It’s great to see the government taking positive action. I care about the planet so I’ve got a rustic hessian satchel in which to place all my plastic-packaged shopping.”

Absolute fucking genius. And, yes, for once, I quoted the whole thing. Nothing else would do. Charge me 5p.

Witless Downfall

It had to happen.  The infamous Downfall internet meme has finally entered the orbit of the Fylde’s anti-fracking fraternity.  According to the Blackpool Evening Gazette, the attempt by Frack Free Fylde (FFF) to land this turkey has resulted in it burning up on reentry.

A ‘comedy’ video which shows gas fracking bosses as high-ranking Nazis has sparked controversy after it was aired at a public meeting.

I think the Gazette means niche comedy video.  It must have had the anti-frackers rolling in the aisles.  The Cuadrilla CEO is really a frustrated double glazing salesman?  It has me laughing too but not for the reason FFF intended.

The video, a scene from the war film Downfall, had been overdubbed so Adolf Hitler appears to rant about people on the Fylde coast rising up to oppose to the controversial shale gas exploration process.

Those stratosphere bound people apparently being our old friends Residents Action on Fylde Fracking (RAFF) since they are mentioned both in the narrative and the credits.

The five-minute long film was met with laughter at the meeting at St Annes community centre where Gayzer Frackman, from the pressure group Frack Free Fylde, gave a lecture.

Clearly not everyone was amused.  There was a stoolie in the audience.  And it was a shade over four minutes but why let a little thing like accuracy get in the way.

But Fylde Council leader, Coun David Eaves, has described the video as “a disgrace”.

I prefer to call it an “insight”.

And Tina Rothery, from another anti-fracking group Residents Action on Fylde Fracking (RAFF), distanced her group from the video – which has received almost 300 hits on YouTube.

Was that before or after Councillor Eaves took umbrage I wonder?  RAFF is associated with the video by name – twice.  It is partly a tribute to RAFF.  Distancing itself from the video apparently doesn’t include posting a comment below the video condemning the use of RAFF’s name.

She said: “We all have different audiences. What Gayzer attracts and what we attract are different crowds.”

Because the likes of the infamous and equally wrong Gasland is the video of choice in RAFF circles?

St Annes Town Council member Coun Carol Lanyon said: “From my personal point of view I find it distasteful.

I’d go for humourless.  Satire is supposed to be witty and/or funny even if the message is bonkers wrong.

“It’s not to say I’m in agreement with fracking, but I think there’s a better way to go about it (opposing the process) than tasteless satire.”

By using, for example, one’s position on the local council to make the case for your prejudice via a soundbite in the local rag?

However, Mr Frackman has defended his decision to show the video at the meeting, which was attended by around 40 people.

Well he would, wouldn’t he.  After all he has no hard science to fall back on, only fear-mongering and ad hominem.

He said: “You’ve got to have a little bit of humour every now and then. It’s satire and that’s been going on for years.”

I think he might mean satyr because when it comes to humour the video has the wit of a goat’s arse.

Downfall is a German language film which depicts the final 10 days of Hitler’s rule.

Mr Frackman says he found the fracking version of the film while searching for something else on internet video site YouTube, and does not know who created it.

Perhaps he was looking for the latest release of that famous eco-rock band, Shale Gas Devastation, but had to settle for second best – the Titanic of protracted, double glazing salesman punchlines.

A link to Frack Off’s website appears beneath the video, but the group has denied it is responsible.

Poor Gayzer, abandoned not once but twice.  If you can’t rely on your fellow anti-fracking activists who can you rely on?

During his speech to the meeting Mr Frackman also accused the Government of “pandering” to big oil and gas companies over plans to drill at sites on the Fylde, and hit out at claims the process could lead to cheaper energy bills for householders.

Yet despite the knives in the back he remains stolidly on-message and off the reality trolley.

Fracking is the process whereby chemicals and water are forced deep underground at high pressure to release gas

Mr Frackman said: “The only people going for (fracking) are the Government, fracking companies and their shareholders.

Yet Gayzer has no qualms about benefiting from the fruits of Gaia’s rape.  His talk wasn’t given by candlelight.  His computer isn’t made out of wood and organic cotton.  And no doubt the carpark outside wasn’t devoid of motor vehicles.

“When they get the shale out, we won’t be getting it – they’ll be selling it to the highest bidder.”

I think Gayzer should get his mental lead out.  Cuadrilla is not a charity.  Making a profit out of supplying energy is not a crime against humanity, it’s what makes the world go round and raises our standard of living from the mire of a short and often brutal primitive existence.  Unlike renewables Cuardrilla does not soak up billions in public subsidies.  Remove the money extorted from us all in order to subsidise “sustainable” wind and solar industries and they will sink without trace because they are parasites, not honest businesses.  Cuardrilla actually has the real potential to produce a commodity we desperately need – a cheap, reliable source of energy that doesn’t depend on our volatile and unpredictable weather or upon mass deforestation to make wood chip pellets for back-up power plants when the weather goes moody, as it so often does.

As for “get the shale out” I’d like to see how they extract rock from a borehole measured in inches.

Energy firm Cuadrilla has several potential drilling sites on the Fylde coast.

They’ve never made a secret of it.

Cuadrilla has declined to comment on the issue of the video.

So what?  The video says more about the anti-frackers than it does Cuadrilla.  Even the activists understand that.  With the exception of Gayzer and the Judean People’s Front FFF of course.

However a spokesman for the company said: “While we are at the exploration stage in our work to unlock Lancashire’s considerable shale gas potential, we are confident that natural gas from shale could play an important part in Britain’s energy mix.

“A growing number of reports show that shale gas could help to replace gas imports, improve energy security and create well-paid jobs in the sector.

“Gas is a commodity and, like all commodities, increasing supply, in particular supply located close to domestic demand, will exert downward pressure on price.”

Providing they frack with care because the Fylde aquifer is between them and the shale deposit, I’m not going to argue with that.

As for the Vale of Glamorgan issue alluded to in the video, I’ll let you Google that for yourselves.  It’s not the victory the anti-frackers want you to think it is, particularly since Welsh Water has now retracted its “small risk of contamination” assessment upon which the local council based it’s refusal to allow test drilling.

It’s like fighting weapons of meaningless destruction with wet celery.

Apparently John Kerry is laying down the law on Syria… It’s a bit like being threatened with a dead haddock. It’s Clintonism again. He was talking about targeted missile strikes against the Assad regime on the BBC News today. That’s like throwing stones at a quarry. We have no interest in Syria and neither does the USA but those Tomahawks are such lovely toys! And aginst what and who gains anyway? call me cynical but the Assad regime is vile and the rebels are a mixed bag of assorted fruits. God knows whose side we ought to be on and on that basis We ought to stay out. Now if it’s the case of giving neighbouring states such as Lebanon and Turkey a bit of a hand with the refugees.

I suspect I’m just Middle East fatigued. I’ve forty fucking years of it. It’s like fucking Groundhog Day tetrated. Oh, and the Russians and Chinese are involved. It’s a potential cluster-fuck of Biblical proportions.

I mean for buggering sake I heard recently I heard Syrians were fleeing to Iraqi Kurdistan to escape being gassed. Am I the only sod who sees the bitter irony in that?

Hugo…

From The incomparable Daily Mash

Meanwhile, tributes were also paid to Chavez by the usual arseholes.

Ken Livingstone, George Galloway and Gerry Adams all said he was a great man, which is pretty much all you need to know about Hugo Chavez.

Oh and Sean Penn and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad were there too. Apparently they are going to pickle Chavez as the did with Lenin. That’s what you really need to know though the Mash article is well-worth reading.

The Storm I Believe In.

The Israeli air-force has c.100 F-16I Soufa (Storm) Vipers (nobody uses the official name “Fighting Falcon” because that is camper than a scout jamboree). These are block 50/52 F-16s (the USANG flys block 15s) which have been tricked with conformal tanks and additional Israeli ‘tronics and integration with Rafael and Elbit weapons and systems such as the superlative Python-5 and Derby missiles or the Litening designator. It’s a serious piece of kit. And quite cheap (well for a state of the art strike-fighter). This means it isn’t cheap. It is a co-production between the Israelis and Lockheed-Martin.

Now, I’m an admitted combat ‘plane geek but that really is class. It’s half the price of the RAF Typhoon (which isn’t a bad ‘plane – at least not the FGA4) and the F-16I has the critical (especially for a small country) capacity to switch between trainer and combat aircraft. The training Tiffies have no combat capability – cheers BAE Systems et al!

This is the aircraft (there are others – “legacy” F-16s and F-15s and the F-15I Ra’am (Thunder)) that are paneling Hamas with (despite desperate attempts by the media to colour the Israeli’s as being “disproportionate” for killing more Palestinians than the Israeli death-toll (with very little collateral (c.f. Hamburg ’43)). That is part of civilized warfare. Another part of course is if you have the kit and the skills you can really open “The Gates of Hell”. If, on the other hand, your state of the art weapons system is an underpants bomb you can open the “Flies of Hell” and have your penis found four miles away. I know who’s side I’m on. One day I may take my penis to Israel but that is on the strict condition that the rest of me is still attached to it.

Don’t get me wrong. Being the underdog can be heroic but it doesn’t necessarily make it so despite what the MSM say. C4 News seemed to think that the successes of Iron Dome were something the Israelis ought to be ashamed about because that meant they weren’t showing enough dead kiddies as the Palestinians. Actually they don’t show dead kiddies anyway being civilized and all.

Jump!

Let’s imagine Harry S Truman didn’t authorize the dropping of Little Boy and went ahead with Operation Olympic in ’46. The Japanese were training school-girls with bamboo spears to fight on the beaches against US Marines. Would that have been better? And of course Uncle Joe would have been involved by then. Would that have improved anything? It could have segued seamlessly into WWIII with Japan split as Korea was.

I once temped at the second-largest office complex on the planet. HMRC Longbenton, Newcastle. That wasn’t always a tax-office. It was initially built as a hospital to deal with the casualties from Olympic. And of course Olympic wouldn’t just have resulted in a less than clean political end (due to Uncle Joe wanting part of the pie, natch) or maybe hundreds of thousands of Allied (and Soviet) casualties but almost certainly would have resulted in millions of Japanese dead. A couple of hundred thousand Japanese dead and a clean surrender seems cheap at the price. And that was down to tech. The moral capability to win a war by being able to astonish with high-tech ultra violence. It worked for Truman, it worked for Cortez against the Aztecs. It worked at Culloden when the “romantic” Highland charge met the disciplined steel of the Duke of Cumberland’s red-coats. I guess I am arguing partially that fighting really half-arsed (another result of an underpants bomb) is not being Mel Gibson in “Braveheart” (that would involve less back-combing anyway – “they” tek our lives but they’ll nivver tek us seriously!). And partially that if someone pulls a knife on you and you have a knife and a Glock you aren’t the evil one because you pull the Glock just because you have one. What I’m getting is that “proportionate response” is ludicrous. going on a supreme cunteration that wins a war definitively is though moral. It means it is over. Even I know that just from playing Sid Meier games.

Jump!

No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.

- General Patton.

Or in another way… Note the defiance here (and I just love this song)… The Storm that is Nina Persson and the Cardigans…

Come and get them Hamas! (By the way that song, in an iconological sense, is meant to be ambiguous on many levels).

I also believe in extremely fit Swedish birds singing cool songs…

Why I believe in that should not require any further elucidation.

Yet a pretty girl, clearly intelligent, smart, Newcastle University (Yes, there is more to the North East than “Geordie Shore” and “banging”) I got in to a conversation at the Monument to Earl Grey (who made the tea) where she was part of a very small protest (My mother was in the corporate jumble-sale that is TK Maxx so I had time on my hands… lots). This lass was nice and very wrong. I merely pointed out she was flying the Venezuelan flag upside-down (an international distress signal of course which somewhat amused me). It has an arch of stars (one for each province) but she’d thought it “jollier” to fly it as a “smile”. Well that got us talking. I politely declined the offer of a CD by the Al-Alqsa Martyrs Brigade Male Voice Choir (I am not making that up) with proceeds going to “Palestinian causes”. She said with an entirely straight-face, “What has Capitalism ever done for us?” Seriously, on a Saturday afternoon, surrounded by the bustle of central Newcastle and surrounded by it’s Georgian architecture (and also the monstrance that is the Eldon Square Mall built by the Commie T Dan Smith that almost destroyed it all). I just said, channeling Christopher Wren, “Look around you!” (all I could think of whilst my flabber was that gasted). Her view on the World was so twisted she defended Comrade Castro “getting better on gay rights”. I wondered what the Al-Aqsa Martyrs brigade Male Voice Choir thought of gay sex – with a shudder. I wondered what she’d be up in arms about if our same-sex civil partnership bill hadn’t passed?* I also wondered how she felt about the fact that I’d seen men wearing nothing but bodypaint and flip-flops holding hands on the main drag in Key West without any hassle. And that was in the evil, repressive US of A – try that it Gaza City or Havana. I even thought what the Al-Aqsa Martyrs brigade Male Voice Choir would have thought of her un-hijabed eslf talking to a non-mehrem man in the street.

The most imposing facade in Western Europe.

- John Betjeman on Grey Street, Newcastle.

Yeah, that’s what Western Civilization, The Enlightenment and Capitalism did for you love! It gave you a nice city to live in, an education, those Nikes you’re wearing, the right to protest in a Quixotic way below the statue of the architect of reforms that enlarged the franchise, the right to engage in conversation with a man you are not married to and not be beaten and raped by the Al-Aqsa Martyrs brigade Male Voice Choir who would have you as a haus-frau and baby-momma. Your womb pumping out future martyrs the same way factories in South Korea produce RAM. We are far from perfect but we are not that bad.

That is also a storm I believe in.

In 2001 I saw via the TV (aka the Shaytan’s Magic Picture Box) some twinkly old cunt “massing” in the AF-PAK borderland (where very bad things happen because if it is not exactly the arsehole (hat ould give it a dignity it doesn’t deserve) of the planet but it is well within the farting CEP). He was waving his “little mashie” at the sky and making blood-curdling threats against Americans whilst a B-52 flew over leaving eight contrails and carrying 16x2000lb JDAMs. Well, best of luck mate I thought! A beautiful scene. I have also seen the XH-558 Vulcan and that was like God was shaking my teeth. How the flying-fuck do you zoom-climb something that size? That is the difference. Whilst some wallow in codswallop and misery and beards – others don’t. The storms I believe in are not the difference. They are the result of the difference. A few years back I heard that whilst 80% of Indian PhDs were awarded in science, engineering or medicine, 80% of Pakistani ones were in Islamic theology. That’s the difference. That’s why I can easily imagine seeing an Indian on Mars whilst the grandson of that old cunt is still pointlessly waiving the same “little mashie” at the sky.

’cause you’re the storm that I’ve been needing
and all this peace has been deceiving
I like the sweet life and the silence
but it’s the storm that I believe in

Come and conquer and drop your bombs
cross my borders and kill the calm
bear your fangs and burn my wings
I hear bullets singing.

They own the dirt. We own the skies. And we do because of our culture. Their culture stinks, so do their toilets. One leads to the other. Our culture flies and so does our vengeance – with JDAM precision.

Frankly, I’d allow the fuckers to wallow in their own Dark Age’s crapulence. But I’d be prepared to wield the big stick when it has to be wielded and not be ashamed it is a big-stick against their twig because until they grow-up and join the modern World then fuck’em.

PS or the World of the ancestors. Our- you know – “heritage”. I will not be lectured to by pompous oafs as to how “trad” their culture is when they are paving it. I shall not be told I’m an Islamophobe for saying this when Notre Dame still stands in the secular RF, yet the Mosque of Abu Bakr is now a bloody Hilton or a car park or some such.

T Dan Smith would have done much the same. All collectivists want to wipe-out history. They may differ as to what they want to build on their clean slate (it’s invariably ghastly) but they all want a clean slate.

*A brisk walk down the road is the Newcastle “Pink Triangle” which boasts (always amuses me when I pass it) a pub called Camp David.

Naughty but Nice.

I’ve read “Midnight’s Children”. It is pretty cool. Now I read it in bed over many days. It was pretty ragged at the start but it was falling apart by the end. It’s a great book. It is also by any standards something I would call unfilmable.

So they filmed it. They did.

Get it via Amazon. It’s worth reading. Don’t see the movie.

Equality Oop t’North.

Here is what passes for informed Tory comment these days.

THE Tories will struggle in the North because the party is seen as “southern, posh, white men” and not like “one of us”, says a senior Conservati