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Beyond Belief

The Drinking of Heroes…

The man in his late 20s took on the reckless dare in the Spanish resort of Magaluf.

After drinking five pints of beer in one venue, the unknown, solo reveller moved to Lush bar and ordered the cheap liquor – thought to be 42% proof Sambuca.

Egged on by crowds, he knocked back the 75 shots.

He is a apparently in hospital in a “serious” condition. I once did something like this. I was dared on the karaoke in a pub in Manchester so I double-dared my wife and we wound-up singing, “I Got You Babe”. I guess that is a bit different.

You can’t have it both ways.

“We are stronger together” is the sort of meaningless platitude pols of every stripe use all the time and have done since whenever. You put your own interpretation on Clinton’s phrase. But you cannot post that next to a claim that Herr Hoffer is not a Neo Nazi. He wore a cornflower. A symbol of pan-German stuff and we all know where that lead us… And is that not a very explicit call to unity?

It’s all over folks!

Recently we had a gardening day here. Lots of weeding and such. I didn’t participate because it was very high pollen and everyone would have thought my entire family had flown EgyptAir.

Anyway, someone found the severed leg of a miniature goat. It is good it was found because it might have put the mindfulness group off the their meditations and onto their meds. The finder at first thought (due to it’s colour – black with bits of white) it might have been the cat until it was pointed out to him that cats don’t have hooves – he accepted his mistake in good grace.

Imagine a cat with cloven hooves! That is exactly what I want for my mission of evil. So, Mr Bond… and all that jazz. I guess I could get a Mao suit in Manchester. I certainly know parts of the city where I could get a scar…

I evinced the feory it was a fox what done it and there is a farm next to us…

…but you can’t help but wonder Kanye? (West – for those not hip enough to be a femur)

There is something in the woods out there. Something evil. A few years back I found a small soft toy crucified with barbed wire on a fence and then, a bit later, an abandoned toilet seat. I burnt the later though it might have come from The Lost Aracrapper of Doom (who indeed knows?). The omens are building. It is truly The End of Days!

Good heavens!” I cried. “Who would associate crime with these dear old homesteads?” “They always fill me with a certain horror. It is my belief, Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys in London* do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside.”

- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

The second coming is upon us and it is happening in semi-rural, semi-suburban North-East Cheshire. The Daily Mail will tell in due course what effect this has on house prices but recall you heard this here first. I’m just waiting for the beast with seven heads and ten horns or possibly just Wayne Rooney.

*now gentrified and it’ll cost you a hundred grand for a dog house.

The lament of the home-sick Jihadi.

A British jihadist has told how he misses Greggs as well as his friends and family after fleeing for war-torn Syria.

The Islamic State fighter, who gives his name as Abu Abdullah Britani and speaks with a London accent, made the comments in a video interview posted on YouTube by an online news organisation.

My heart bleeds… Last time I had something from Greggs I felt an act of terrorism was occurring in my oesophagus. That’s why I now go to Subway or Pret where they sell food rather than the contents of kitty-pouches bowked into a pasty.

He goes on…

Britani also uses the interview, conducted in a trench in Syria, to say he felt compelled to travel to the country to avenge the “rape of sisters and the killing of children” – although he admits it is bloodthirsty.

So ISIS doesn’t rape, pillage and kill everything that walks or crawls? He’s either an idiot or deluded or believes it’s OK to do that for Allah (these are not mutually exclusive). I tend to go with idiot mainly. Going off to jihad seems increasingly to me like a sort of rebellion like punks in the ’70s with the major caveat that dying your hair pink and getting a nasal septum ring is not the same thing in terms of externalities. I am fairly sure Johnnie Rotten never raided a Yazidi school, massacred the teachers and then raped the girls. Both tracks are “acts of rebellion”. One annoys your Gran and the other is plain evil.

But there is something else going on with this guy which is deeply conservative (note the small “c”). When I go abroad I want to eat different food and experience a different culture. But I have seen enough Brits abroad who consider places like Costa Brava or Malta as Blackpool with better weather. Drinking bitter in the “Red Lion” and tucking into fish and chips whilst reading The Mail. They are arseholes in my book but mostly harmless like the punks.

This fellow isn’t and if he ever returns to the UK he ought to dragged on a sled down Newcastle’s Grey Street on a Saturday night and have all the lads and lasses pelt him to death with Gregg’s Steak Bakes.

That’ll learn him. And it is all they are good for anyway.

Biodynamic eggs…

First off I have an A in A-level biology and an MSc in astrophysics. I have have no qualifications in being a gullible twat.

Secondly, I am a very good cook.

When I buy eggs I always go for proper free range (note the term can cover a multiple of things) and I do this on the basis of genuine animal welfare and not the position of the planets.

BTW I did sixth-form work experience in a lab at Newcastle University and it was into GM-ing cassava toremove the toxins because whilst cassava is a staple for much of Africa (and elsewhere – it grows anywhere) it contains toxins that have to be removed by a lengthy process. Now if genetically modified cassava can be free of the toxins then the work of the rural housewife is dramatically decreased. Which means…

… Let’s see shall we?

And quite frankly I’d rather see poor Tanzanians benefit in a tangible fashion rather than Hipsters from Hoxton. The first group are feeding their families, the second their egos.

So what is a “biodynamic egg”? It is an egg laid according to astrology. Here day fights with night. And they charge more for them – 10p more for six than “organic” eggs.

I weep tears of blood. Norman Borlaug must be spinning in his grave.

Don’t get me wrong. There is a place for vaguely spiritual ideas (and the established religions) but what really gets my goat is the “vaguely spiritual” and their attempt to cross the divide. Science ought to be about this world and religion about the next. Science (including pseudo-science) has no place in morality and religion none in science.

The one where iDave is right…

I have met a number of people who were of the opinion Nigeria was hopelessly corrupt. Most of them Nigerian which was why they lived in England.

So iDave was “undiplomatic” but he spoke the truth. If that ain’t true explain this.. A few years ago we dumped a sofa and I slit it and got eight quid out of it. I want a Nigerian sofa because that is a hell of a lot of sponds to go astray. Obviously I’d need a hole in the ceiling and a Sepp Blatter to get on it to watch Sky.

And that is just the military budget. So don’t piss on my my back and tell me it is raining.

Yes, we give Nigeria a lot of aid. It mainly goes the way of Keyser Söze. I don’t mind some of my cash going to build wells and such for the desperately poor but lining the pockets of gits is a bit above and beyond.

We do enough of that here anyway.

Gender Identity & The Scientific Method.

I once had an office-mate called S. She had a female gerbil called Padmé (that is what happens if you allow astrophysicists of my generation to have pets). Anyway one Friday night my flat mates were out and they had a male hamster called Hammy (they were not from the top drawer in the tool box).

Anyway, I had a nice bit of fish so S and I had dinner round my gaff (not a date – just mates) and she asked if she could bring Padmé (and some wine). OK, S. So well into the second (maybe third) bockle we decided to see how the rodents would play together.

Guess what happened? The gerbil mounted the hamster and tried to make sweet, sweet love to it despite the gerbil being female and the hamster being male. In short the gerbil attempted to roger the hamster. Whilst two astrophysics students who were drunk (and somewhat stoned) watched. It was like a deleted scene from a David Lynch movie.

There is a moral here but I’m fucked if I know what it is. I may never have taught a pug to salute Hitler but I was (it was S’s idea in case the rozzers call) am somewhat an accessory (I opened the cage) to an attempted rodent on rodent rape.

Yes, Your Honour I have done questionable things but…

… Who hasn’t done questionable things. It all started with bringing fire into the cave.

Now I’m not claiming that S and my experiment was the “Italian navigator entered the New World” but the spirit of curiosity is the reason you are reading this drivel (and I’m writing it).

I know that quote from my Solar System Dynamics text by Carl Murray who taught me at QMC, London. I have scars from trying things out (usually with fire). But dear me! Unless you try the new what the buggery (arguably a bad term in the rodential context) and for every Enrico Fermi in his squash court there are a couple of pissed grad-students letting the rodents run just for the Hell of it. And that is why I did physics. For the sheer fucking Hell of it.

That is why for example I’d wannabe in the cockpit of the Bloodhound with Andy Green when he tries to drive a car at over 1000mph. The sheer Hell of it.

PS. neither rodent appeared harmed at all.

Greater Manchester Police apologise for noticing

So Greater Manchester Police were carrying out this terror exercise yesterday

https://twitter.com/i/moments/729988461755826176

And some people now apparently feel safer. Why? This is all about the response to an attack and a possible follow up, rather than the attack itself.

Now if GMP had said “You know what, we need to arm our citizens, we trust the law-abiding to be able to carry Glocks and if they are properly trained they could personally respond to a Paris style attack, rather than being slaughtered like sheep as we know from recent events they will be. We recognise that the terror advice of ‘run, hide, tell’ is treating people like children and is wildly reckless”

But of course, they didn’t say that. Instead they found themselves apologising to our constantly offended friends in the Muslim community. Some people were simply baffled as to why GMP might think an attacker might shout “Allahu Akbar” before committing murder.

Well they could look at recent terrorist attacks in the UK and on the continent and see what religious group is statistically over-represented per capita? Or they could look at the German knife attack this very day and see if there is any suggestion the perpetrator shouted “Die in the name of Ganesh” They could look at which culture is murderously intolerant of others, which one fails to integrate to such an extent that even Trevor Phillips has noticed.

However, instead of looking at the glaringly obvious reasons why anyone might simulate an exercise like that, they can instead be assuaged by the words of ACC Gary Shewan. Mr Shewan thought it unacceptable and apologised for any offence caused, (sic).

When a weak, divided but tolerant culture is confronted by a strong, homogenous, wholly intolerant culture, is it reasonable to assume those two cultures can peacefully co-exist? When people get wholly offended at obvious assumptions, but aren’t visibly standing up for the laws and culture and standards of the host community is there a problem? When leftist fellow travellers conclude the only problem here is the police making assumptions aren’t we doomed as a culture?

We can either choose to recognise and call out existential threats to our way of life, or we can go meekly into the pages of history as a culture that refused to see what is now apparent, and defend itself accordingly.

The Order of Yoni…

That is Alexandra Brendlova. (yes, “Carry On fans it is somewhat similar to “bendover”). She is a Czech model. A model advertising beer… Well who’d thunk that one up. But this is no ordinary beer… Oh, no.

Imagine woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try her taste, feel her smell, hear her voice… Imagine her massaging you passionately and whispering into your ear everything you want. Now free your fantasies and imagine that with a magic wand you can close it in one bottle of beer. The golden drink brewed with her lure and grace and flavored with instincts. Imagine the beer which every sip is a randez-vous with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kiss you gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for that beer?

Read the whole thing. It’s sort of inverse beer-googles. Thank you Poland and Czechia! It is a reason to vote “in”. Sorry my innuendometer is stuck at FSD. I must try harder.

Can you imagine the meeting with the bank manager to fund this?

Pitchers:
“We want 400,000 Zloty and access to a Czech model’s vagina.”

Manager:
“The dream of us all…”

If there is a point to this (and there isn’t) this frivolity (and it is obviously a novelty product) it is a sheer celebration of the freedoms these nations were for so long denied. There is something glorious in this. It also, in a sense, shows these are not the huddled-masses the Daily Mail thinks are overwhelming our NHS etc. These are modern, vibrant countries. I know because I been to them several times. I doubt the average Daily Mail reader has and quite frankly a bit Neville Chamberlain. “A far away country of which we know little”. Nev, me old China I can get to Prague cheaper than the train to London. Whether I sample vagina ales is another matter.

Here endeth the lesson.

Nearly. An awful lot of immigrants to the UK from Central and Eastern Europe are highly skilled. How exactly is that harmful? How precisely can an Estonian nurse be seen as a drain on the NHS? When the NHS is short of nurses. Until we get out of the rut of thinking every human is a drag and not a benefit we will languish with 0.1% economic growth.

We didn’t object when Poles and Czechs (and many others) flew Spitfires in 1940 did we?

Well some of us (much later) did…

null

These are long-standing friends and allies The idea they are moochers is ludicrous. Who was it who did a “Ride of the Rohirrim” at Vienna in 1683? Where did the only person to ever win Nobel prizes in physics and chemistry come from and who laid my mum’s patio?

That is an epic fail even by BNP standards. Look closely at the nose.

And I still haven’t seen the big tent.

Microsoft OneDrive – Bait and Switch

Important Changes to OneDrive

So ponder this, you are one of the worlds largest suppliers of computer software, competing in a highly competitive market which is already saturated. Which of the following sounds like a market winning strategy?:

  • Increase the value-add to your existing data mining customers by providing ever more dimensions on which to analyse customer information (Facebook, Google)
  • Look around at the offerings from your competitors and cut your offering (which is currently the same) to 1/3rd of that and tell customers that all that stuff they were getting for free, they are now going to pay for (Microsoft)

Maybe I’m missing the point here and Microsoft thinks that, despite their many and obvious failures from Bob to Bing, they are somehow beloved by their customers, who will not simply dump them in favour of Google?

Anyone? *crickets*

For myself, I’ll copy everything over to Google and just leave my 10.6 GB of data on the OneDrive. What are they going to do? Charge me?

In fact I’m severely tempted to fill it up to the maximum 15GB 30GB with any old crap and let them sort the wheat from the chaff.

As the Americans say “Good luck with that

[UPDATE - I forgot that as I have both OneDrive and the Camera Roll Bonus I have twice the storage space to screw over - Whooopee!]

The Great Frack Off Bake Off F*ck Off

This made my day.

The local rag, the Blackpool Gazette, printed a story that was a little more modest although they did post the video shot at the time, perhaps to garner readers” sympathy for the celebrity environmental warriors eco-loon trespassers.

A-list celebrities Emma Thompson and her sister Sophie visited the proposed shale gas drill site off Preston New Road, Little Plumpton, to lend their support and bake a few cakes for the Lancashire Nannas campaign.

Lancashire Nannas?  There doesn’t seem to be many of those in the video (follow the above Gazette link).  Perhaps the Gazette meant ‘nanas as in right ‘nanas.

Emma, who has been a Greenpeace member since she was 16, said she was inspired by the fight put up by the Nannas and the other local campaign groups against the Government and industry which supports fracking.

Hollywood actors and actresses with carbon footprints the size of Texas absolutely never fail to pass up a celebrity whoredom opportunity virtue waving exercise anti cheap energy for people not half as well off as them protest.

Emma said: “The Lancashire Nannas and other groups have fought so bravely against big business. We wanted to come along and support them.

Wot, no patented quotes from Big Red Dictionary of Socialist Epithets?  Perhaps she forgot to bring her spectacles.  She missed out on “evil capitalists” “vile economic realists” Gaia rapers and planet killers.  Why does she think that supporting a bunch  of Luddite Shreddies knitters is the sensible thing to do?

I went ballistic when I found that David Cameron came back from the Paris global warming conference having agreed to cut carbon emissions and then right away okayed 200 new fracking licences. On the one hand, he was saying the world should cut fossil fuels, and on the other he was preparing to start a new fossil fuel industry. The Government has removed support for solar power and has virtually called a halt to onshore wind energy schemes, but is pushing this dirty fossil fuel industry.

So, Emma, how many of your countless trans-Atlantic flights were powered by windmills and solar panels rather than that filthy fossil fuel that gets you into such a tizzy?  Did you arrive by bicycle or a filthy fossil fuel guzzling car?  And how did you bake those cute little anti-fracking cupcakes?  Over a cow-shit fire pit?  There was certainly enough of it around once the farmer had finished spraying his own protest over his property and uninvited interlopers.  How about that much vaunted cake baking competition?  What filthy fossil fuel was used to bake those world changing comestibles you seem to think gives you a free pass to break the law?

It is disgusting, hypocritical and an example of how the Government is hand in glove with big corporations.

And you, Emma, are a disgusting and hypocritical example of how a stupid, anti-humanity celebrity bimbo works hand in glove with Big Green.  Do you possess even a nanogram of self awareness?

The danger is that all of the efforts of these magnificent Nannas and the residents to fight this industry may be ignored by national government. It is undemocratic, especially having been told by the Government and Greg Clark that decisions should be made on issues locally.

Undemocratic?  Because a small minority of dummy chucking, deluded anti-realists, some of whom seem to have been imported from other parts of the UK to make up the numbers, aren’t getting their way?   I’m a local and I haven’t been consulted (nor has anyone I know) so how the hell do you, Emma “I Love Greenpeace” Thompson, know whether or not the people of the Fylde want fracking or not?  No one that I know is against it.  Why is that?  Because we are sick to death of paying through the nose to heat our homes.  It’s not like we can hop on a plane and piss off to the Riviera to keep warm.

Lancashire Nanas campaigner Tina Rothery said: “It is wonderful to have ‘Nanna McPhee’ – Emma, and Nanna Sophie here with us today.

We’ve met Tina on this blog before.  If you are reading this, Tina, please explain to me why “Nanna McPhee”  (Who she?) is trespassing on private property in breach of a high court injunction?  Does her greenie credentials trump the law of the land?

However, the visit was condemned by pro-fracking group the North West Energy Task Force. Member Tony Raynor, from Lytham said: “I won’t be lectured by a London-based celebrity and multimillionaire, especially when lots of local jobs and much-needed investment in Lancashire are at stake.” And a farmer was also spotted spraying muck on the fields close to the bake off (Video courtesy of Andy Ball and Rock FM)

Typical Anti-fracking Gazette.  A few paltry lines at the end of the article for the pro-frackers and barely a mention of the farmer.  Especially when the Thompsons and their Greenpeace cheer leaders get this extra puff piece.  The mail wasn’t much better.

I used to know Tony Raynor because I worked for his Dad, a very astute businessman, many moons ago.  When I knew Tony he was a teenager trying to fill some big boots and making a muck of things.  He now runs a successful telecommunications company.  It’s nice to see the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree after all.

I’m left wondering why the cupcake clowns weren’t arrested for breaching a high court injunction.  Maybe the paltry fines, or rather lack of them, would fail to outweigh the cost of cleaning cow shit from police vehicles?

Thou shalt not…

I knew of an obscure law in Texas that essentially made it illegal to have in your home more than two sex toys (guess why the two?). Seeing as archaeologists have found dildos in ancient Egyptian tombs and such this clearly not some vile post ’60 innovation undoubtedly linked to drugs.

I didn’t know Ted Cruz was an architect of either creating the law or just making it er… harder. But…

In perhaps the most noticeable line of the brief, Cruz’s office declared, “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.”

It sort of seems this was a kinda plea bargain for the removal of the sodomy laws (which he was part of). OK, we’ll let gays do what they want but not with artificial help. In short things like anal sex were made legal but a vibrating butt-plug illegal. Yeah, I’m doing a switcharo here because dildos (or similar) are used in all ends (intended) of the sexual Spectrum (ZX and indeed 48K).

There are a number of issues here but let’s boil it down to one. Ted Cruz strongly implies sex ought to be for procreation and not for fun. So that is me un-fucked. Oh go on Nick! Yes I shall. Would he object to a married woman having a contraceptive implant? I bet he would. Because that is very much sex for fun and also bonding between two humans at the deepest level. There is a bigger issue though. How very dare Ted Cruz tell people what sex is for? How very dare he declare that sex without procreation is against the constitution when the constitution doesn’t mention sex at all and for good reason. Because it is private. He does also mention “public morals” and that is scary. And it comes down to the line about due process rights. And that is scary. The law is to tell you what not to do and not what you can do. Under common law systems it is assumed (and generally upheld) that you can do whatever you want unless it is specifically proscribed. Cruz’s attitude to masturbation is very scary here because it is about the law having to specifically allow something. It is basically allowing nothing unless it is made as legal.

That is very worrying.

H/T here and here.

Shoddy Absurdia

Regular readers will know I have little or no time for the only country on the planet that forbids women from driving. They also stone homosexuals. I on the other hand have got stoned with homosexuals. I have also been in cars driven by women. The times we live in eh?

It’s coming out. I knew. I just knew the camel-fucking bastards were up to their fucking necks in 9/11 (and the rest).

I don’t care for their depravity but depravity is just that. Being implicit in the murder of nigh on 3000 people is another matter entirely. I don’t care if they want to make my ancestors who embuggered monks on Lindisfarne and stole their plate look civilized. But that was over a thousand years ago. Things move on. The last gift my country got from Norway was a Christmas Tree. What have we ever got from Saudi Arabia? Hatred, evil and 15/19 on 9/11.

The time has come…

We build nuclear because Saudi you have nothing but oil. Nothing. I mean nothing. Let’s put this bluntly. This is not Islamophobia – oh, no! This is straight horror at our bending-over for a vile regime. I have visited some of the great Mosques of the World. I was treated with respect and I showed them respect.

I have dirty little secret. I do. I like photographing religious buildings and Islam does seem much more amenable than Catholics for example.

This is not Islam. This is an unspeakably corrupt regime we have enabled.

This has to end. Now.

The Daily Fail.

I have a life-long interest in aviation. The Daily Mail does not it would appear.

It has a story about an American pilot trying to fly around the World. The headline is…

“Around the world in a VERY private jet! Pilot begins solo flight across the globe on a journey completed by just 113 people”,

This is the picture…

Now you don’t exactly have to be Biggles to spot that is not a jet.

There a few things I know quite a lot about. Aircraft are one. there are many things I don’t know about. How much does the MSM sneak under my radar?

And in case you think it’s just The Mail… The BBC had Prince William flying solo in a Tucano within days of joining the RAF and with the pictures clearly showing an instructor getting in the second cockpit. Prince Harry was an Apache gunner and not pilot. It goes on and on.

I can cope with media bias in terms of op-ed. But when it is raw, obvious facts then I do wonder. I said it earlier and make no apology for repeating it. If you can’t get the facts right – the basic facts – I don’t care as to your opinion on anything.

It’s like the football scores. I may or may not agree with you as to how well a player did but I expect you to get the final score right. Unless you are Chris Kamara, obviously. Classic Kamara is, “Someone’s just scored Bob! Not sure at what end!”.

Oompa Trumper

This is not a post about abortion per-se and I hope any comments reflect that. No, this is about the moral vacuum that is Donald Trump and of the many, many reasons he should never be President his flip-flops on the subject are just one. But one hole is sometimes enough and this should be enough. If you want the full sp then reason has it here. It is a good article. I shall not quote from it directly because I had independently come to much the same conclusions. Great minds think alike? Not really. These are obvious observations.

My distinct impression in the abortion “debate” in the US is that there is usually very little middle-ground and that is why it rages on with immense passion on both sides of the fence. Now, that might seem a bad thing and in some ways it is. My point being that that is because it is something that people’s opinions on come right from the core of their moral being. It is something that whether “pro-choice” or “pro-life”* people care about with a passion. I understand that. I understand why people care fundamentally about either the autonomy of the woman or the rights of the embryo/fetus. It is an important moral question and should be treated as such but The Donald managed to change between five different positions in three days. On such a fundamental issue that is remarkable even by Trump’s lamentable standards. It goes without saying that on something that is also a major political issue in the US and has been for a long time (Roe v. Wade was 40 years ago for example) that is to be, at my most generous, politically naive. No wonder the US Christian Right can’t stand him any more than a fervently “pro-choice” atheist Democrat does.

So what makes The Donald like this?

Well, recently there was a documentary on C4 presented by Matt Frei about the Trumpster. It included an interview with Mr Trump’s ex-butler who now runs a shop in Miami selling high-end tat of the sort that Elvis would have considered tacky for his Jungle Room at Graceland. Frei asked if Trump visited and the answer was in the affirmative. Frei followed up by asking what in particular Trump bought most. The answer was, “mirrors”.

And just like that I knew! Most of us take our moral positions from some sort of basis whether it be the Bible or Marx, The Book of Mormon or those of Ayn Rand. Whatever. It means that we believe in something external to ourselves. Or put it another way our morality is comes from something other than ourselves.

Some people believe in God (for example) and try to follow Him.

Trump though believes he is God. And a capricious one at that. What is right is what is good for The Donald and because He is the supreme being so he can make it up on the fly. I mean who dare question God himself because whatever God says is right is right by definition. Trump is a malignant narcissist. And that more than anything else is why he should never be President of the USA.

*I dislike both those terms.

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