Fuck me! even our Spivs are bleedin useless.
"It is not worth the while to go round the world to count the cats in Zanzibar" – Henry David Thoreau
Thanks to the site “The People’s Cube,” we have this leaked conversation. One of the commenters (and the comments should definitely not be missed: one of them even has a photo of the Miss-us jivin’; and there’s one of a Bill Clinton that cannot be described in a forum published from the family-friendly state of Zanzibar) — one of the commenters goes so far as to state it’s satire, but I dunno — it sounds true-to-Obama. See what you think.
2/28/2014, 1:36 am
This leaked phone conversation is beginning to circulate the Gulagosphere in the forms of emails and blog posts. We can’t imagine it can really damage the president’s progressive policy of GolfCare or his ratings – the voters just won’t care, like they didn’t care about the president’s similarly progressive policy of ObamaCare.
It did not matter what the opponents said or wrote about it, or what cartoons and Photoshopped pictures they posted on their websites that only the opponents read. Their attacks made the voters want to protect their beloved president even more desperately. That said, the Party members still need to be aware of this leak and prepare for rebuttals and refutations accordingly.
* * *
(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaGolf. My name is Trina. How can I help you?
(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Golfsmith stating that my Pro V1 order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your web site, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the web site. It should be fixed by the end of 2014. But I can help you.
(Customer) Thanks, I ordered some Pro V1 balls.
(Receptionist) Sir, Pro V1′s do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with a choice of Pinnacle, TopFlite , or Callaway Blue.
(Customer) But I have played Pro V1 for years.
(Receptionist) The government has determined that Pro V1s are no longer acceptable, so we have instructed Titleist to stop making them. TopFlites are better, sir, I am sure you will love them.
(Customer) But I like the Pro V1. Why are TopFlites better?
(Receptionist) That is all spelled out in the 2700 page “Affordable Golf Ball Act” passed by Congress.
(Customer) Well, how much are these TopFlites ?
(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package?
(Customer) What’s the difference?
(Receptionist) 12, 24, 36 or 48 balls.
(Customer) The Silver package may be okay; how much is it?
(Receptionist) It depends, sir; what is your monthly income?
(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?
(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government Golf Ball subsidy; then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below the poverty level, you might qualify for a subsidy. In that case, I can refer you to our BallAid department.
(Customer) BallAid ?
(Receptionist) Yes, golf balls are a right, everyone has a right to golf balls. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
(Customer) Who said they were a right?
(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.
(Customer) Whoa…..I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding golf balls as a right.
(Receptionist) There’s no explicit mention of golf balls in the Constitution, but President Obama is a former constitutional scholar and he believes it would have been included if the Constitution had not been drafted by a bunch of slave-owning white men. The Democrats in the Congress and the Supreme Court agree with the President that golf balls are now a right guaranteed by the Constitution.
Customer) I don’t believe this…
(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is your monthly income sir?
(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the balls this year.
(Receptionist) In that case, sir, I will still need your monthly income.
(Receptionist) To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost would be.
(Customer) WHAT? You can’t charge me for NOT buying golf balls.
(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $49.50 or 1% of your monthly income…..
(Customer)(interrupting) This is ridiculous, I’ll pay the $49.50.
(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $49.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!!
(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
(Customer) Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it.
(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.
(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?
(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates, sir.
(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
(Receptionist) That would be the IRS, sir. Thanks for calling ObamaGolf , have a nice day…and God Bless the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.
Golf visor tip to Beth Colvin
Melisa Harris-Perry – MSNBC Special Correspondent for Child Stealing
“We have never invested as much in public education as we should have because we’ve always had kind of a private notion of children – ‘Your kid is yours, and totally your responsibility.’ We haven’t had a very collective notion that these are our children. So part of it is we have to break through our kind of private idea that kids belong to their parents, or kids belong to their families, and recognize that kids belong to whole communities.”
So there you go, clear and unambiguous from the “liberal” (yeah right!) heart of the collective, a contemporary restatement of the fascist principle of “Tutto nello Stato, niente al di fuori dello Stato, nulla contro lo Stato“ (“Everything in the State, nothing outside the State, nothing against the State”) as set forth by Benito Mussolini in his infamous speech to the Italian Chamber of Deputies on 9 December 1928.
Ms. Harris-Perry is now attempting to retract or somehow reinterpret her words, but her original message was clear and unambiguous, especially since it has been in the playbook of every collectivist movement for over a century as former members of the Hitler Youth, Young Pioneers and countless other youth movements will attest.
Perhaps Ms. Harris-Perry is throwing her hat in the ring to be the head of the Obama Youth?
[Edit] - Apparently this was from a TV piece from last November, so I’m a bit of a slow poke. My only excuse is I was living on the opposite side of the planet at the time, still a bit too close though clearly.
The War of the Community Organizers. Mr. Greenfield explains that both of them need their enemies, in order to ensure their power.
Obama and Putin: Two Totalitarians, One Game
March 27, 2014 by Daniel Greenfield
[ ... ]
Every time a battle is won and an election ends, a new source of social conflict is dug up and deployed for war.
As a domestic radical, divisiveness is his natural weapon. Obama plays on fragmented identities, assembling coalitions to wage war against some phantom white heteronormative patriarchy consisting of a middle class barely able to pay its bills.
[ ... ]
[Obama's coalition] needs an enemy to give it meaning. Without a common enemy it will tear itself apart and die.
The same is true of the anti-American coalition that Putin has cobbled together out of Marxist dictators in Latin America, Shiite fanatics in Iran, a North Korean prep school grad who starves his people to build nukes and radical American leftists convinced that every war is a CIA conspiracy. Like allying the NAACP, AFL-CIO and GLAAD; it’s an odd conclave, but as long as everyone focuses on a common foe, they can all be herded in the right direction.
Obama is an adequate national community organizer, but Putin is a global community organizer.
It’s not just that Obama is weak and inept, but he’s using a rulebook that Moscow is entirely familiar with because its men helped write it. The KGB vets running the show understand Obama intimately because they understood his mentors. The tactics that Obama and his people imagine are clever and innovative are minor examples of the tactics that the USSR was using abroad before he was even born.
Obama isn’t isolating Putin. Putin is isolating Obama. He’s doing it in the same way that Obama did it to Republicans.
Anti-Americanism has nothing to with America. Anti-Americanism creates a phantom enemy.
[ ... ]
Obama needs a Republican enemy to keep his people in line. Putin needs an American enemy to keep his people in line. If Obama understood this, he would also understand that Putin is as likely to work with him to defuse the conflict, as Obama would with John Boehner.
Putin and Obama are both deeply corrupt men whose former popularity has waned and are badly in need of distractions.
[ ... ]
Obama thinks globally and acts locally. Putin thinks locally and acts globally.
Putin is determined to score points from the post-American transition. Reducing American power and influence worldwide was a move that the foreign policy left believed would defuse tensions. Instead it has turned into a gold rush for every petty tyrant and terrorist eager to count coup by humiliating the United States.
Obama wanted a peaceful post-American transition. Instead he’s getting worldwide chaos and war.
Putin seeks out a conflict with the United States for the same reason that Obama seeks one out with Republicans….
I do not apologize for withholding from you dear feline Zanzibarians the treat of beholding yet again His Face, even though for once it bears a relatively pleasant expression. You will see it anyway if, as I recommend, you follow the link to the whole column.
The Affordable Cell Phone Care Act
by EDWARD CLINE February 4, 2014
Groucho Marx had many great monologues and spiels, but this is one of his finest:
“The nickel today is not what it was fifteen years ago. Do you know what this country needs today?…A seven-cent nickel. Yessiree, we’ve been using the five-cent nickel in this country since 1492. Now that’s pretty near a hundred years’ daylight saving. Now, why not give the seven-cent nickel a chance? If that works out, next year we could have an eight-cent nickel. Think what that would mean. You could go to a newsstand, buy a three-cent newspaper and get the same nickel back again. One nickel carefully used would last a family a lifetime.”
Note the absurd application of a Keynesian Money Multiplier effect, where inflation allows a carefully spent nickel to last a lifetime. Of course, the gentleman falls for the muddled logic and obfuscation, responding, “Captain Spaulding, I think that is a wonderful idea.”
[ ... ]
The truly inhuman Dr. Zeke Emanuel, brother of Hatchetface Rahm E., former Chief of Staff to Dear Leader and present Mayor of Chicago, and chief architect of Obamacare. *Hssst! It Speaks!* Broadcast Sunday, 2013/11/3, I believe. Poor Mr. Wallace…I hope he collected at the least a Bronze Heart.
A couple of examples of brazen lying are in the YouTube description at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kfibukj1lY. NOTE: [Apologies, but the html tags don't seem to be working. Including the ones for italics, indicated above by *'s.]
In the last analysis, Obamacare is no good because it’s WRONG. It’s armed robbery, and I wish they’d said so.
But anybody who has experience of governments and the ways of bodies politic … they can get used to anything, and in a year or two most of them will have forgotten why they hated ObieCare so much, and scared to death of having to do without it.
This the Left knows well, and this the Left plays upon. They really are master manipulators.
Although I just watched Rep. Louis Gohmert on “The Blaze,” and he still thinks people are going to be getting more and more upset with ObieCare. (He also said we have to actually work to get back our lost liberty.) Anyway: Kidney basins ready? GO!
I’m sure you’ll want to make a small donation.
…courtesy of Second City, which never found a topic they couldn’t skewer. H/T to Gates of Vienna, where Baron Bodissey writes,
[T]his is too true to be funny. But still, it’s funny.
Victor Davis Hanson, for those who have the misfortune to be located in the Provinces *g*, is a military and classical historian who is a highly-regarded columnist on current affairs here in the States.
Below are the major headings from his piece on the current vogue for and acceptability of lying as a way of life, with a sentence or two from the start of each. There are many more links throughout the piece, at the source:
Victor Davis Hanson:
Lying in the Age of Obama
July 23rd, 2013 – 12:02 am
A Nation of Liars
The attorney general of the United States lied recently to Congress. He said he knew of no citizen’s communications that his department had monitored. Lie!
But why pick on the president?
The media routinely peddles “noble” untruths. ABC manipulated a video to show George Zimmerman without much injury to his head.
It’s Not Really the Cover-up
Our current scandals are predicated on lies. No one believed the official White House version that the IRS miscreants were rogue agents from a Cincinnati field office.
Is There Anyone Left Who Doesn’t Lie?
Why do they lie? Because they can. Or to paraphrase Dirty Harry, they like it.
The Cover-up Pays
We repeat the nauseous canard that “it is not the crime, but the cover-up” that gets you in trouble in Washington. But that too is often a lie….
Why Do Our Best and Brightest Lie?
There are both age-old and more recent catalysts for lying.
One, lying and plagiarism are forms of narcissism.
So Why Not Lie?
I end with three reasons to tell the truth.
“We always lose,” says Chris at the end of the The Magnificent Seven after he did the right thing. Or to paraphrase the cinematic T.E. Lawrence about Auda Abu Tayi, we will not lie, as do our elites, because it is simply “our pleasure” not to.
“Postponed till after midterm elections.” How convenient.
Obama Administration to Delay Health Law Requirement Until 2015
By JACKIE CALMES
Published: July 2, 2013 2 Comments
WASHINGTON — The Obama administration announced on Tuesday that it would delay for a year, until 2015, the Affordable Care Act mandate that employers provide coverage for their workers or pay penalties, responding to business complaints and postponing the effective date beyond next year’s midterm elections.
Story continues at
…and the wilfully blind donkey you boomeranged back in on.
That goes double for our Westminster village idiots who for years have been turning sinister somersaults [see what I did there?], while waving the flag of anti-terrorism, to grab a piece of this fascist action.
Oh, a final word for our unelected EU puppet-masters just in case you’re listening – f**k you too!
Richard A. Epstein, interviewed by Nick Gillespie of Reason TV on Obama Itself, a practical flaw at the heart of the regulatory regime, and ObamaCare in particular. ~12 1/2 min.
Excerpts from a relatively long Description; then, below the URL, one of the Comments.
Uploaded on Nov 22, 2010
Few legal scholars have blown as many minds and had the tangible impact that Richard Epstein has managed. His 1985 volume, Takings: Private Property and the Power of Eminent Domain is a case in point. Epstein made the hugely controversial argument that regulations and other government actions such as environmental regulations that substantially limit the use of or decrease the value of property should be thought of as a form of eminent domain and thus strictly limited by the Constitution. The immediate result was a firestorm of outrage followed by an acknowledgment that the guy was onto something.
As Epstein told Reason in a 1995 interview, “I took some pride in the fact that [Sen.] Joe Biden (D-Del.) held a copy of Takings up to a hapless Clarence Thomas back in 1991 and said that anyone who believes what’s in this book is certifiably unqualified to sit in on the Supreme Court. That’s a compliment of sorts…. But I took even more pride in the fact that, during the Breyer hearings [in 199X], there were no such theatrics, even as the nominee was constantly questioned on whether he agreed with the Epstein position on deregulation as if that position could not be held by responsible people.”
. . .
Reason’s Nick Gillespie interviewed Epstein at NYU’s law building in October. The conversation was wide-ranging and high-energy–another Epsteinian virtue. They talked about legal challenges to ObamaCare, the effects of stimulus spending and TARP bailouts, and a former University of Chicago adjunct faculty member by the name of Barack Obama, with whom Epstein regularly interacted in the 1990s and early 2000s.
“He passed through Chicago without absorbing much of the internal culture,” says Epstein of the president. “He’s amazingly good at playing intellectual poker. But that’s a disadvantage, because if you don’t put your ideas out there to be shot down, you’re never gonna figure out what kind of revision you want.”
I think Prof. Epstein is inherently a Nice Guy, and that although in some respects he had the Sith’s number all along (“No! He has a good mind for some things, but it’s not a first-class intellectual mind”–paraphrased from, some comment he made somewhere), even as of this interview I think he was too inclined to believe the “ignorance” as opposed to the “willful, planned destruction” interpretation of Its ruinous “presidency.”
SB87JB 2 months ago [i.e. ~ 12/1/12 --J.]
. . . Yeah sure it’s embarrassing that [pre-Obamacare] people will die from no health insurance, but now people will die from no health insurance after being forced to pay a fee to have no health insurance because they can not afford the “cheap” universal coverage, which only offers 60% coverage for the lower class. It honestly makes our old corrupt corporate healthcare system look utopian.
Barack Obama is pretty much worthless as President, but there are people who find him charismatic, and continue electing him on that basis alone.
He likes power, whether he knows what to do with it or not – and he doesn’t have a clue – so is he just going to walk away from it in 2016? After all, he still has much to do, not every place is Chicago yet.
Three times now I have seen suggestions Michelle may stand in his place. Will she? If she does, how much of a proxy would she be?