… is a twat.
Tom Cruise can command millions for his questionable acting skills in a movie.
He has frequently acted as a romantic lead.
I was talking recently to my sister-in-law (now don’t get me wrong here – I’m not carrying a clipboard and going round Manchester asking random women about the fanciability of Tom Cruise) but she reflexively said she thought Tom Cruise was not attractive. My wife thinks he’s a munter, my mother does. Every women I have ever met thinks he’s a mediocre actor who utterly lacks any sexual appeal or charisma.
But he is a Hollywood leading man.
It makes no sense to me or anyone I know but he is.
Have you seen “Days of Thunder”. Fuck me rigid with an Abyssinian hittin’ stick because I sat through that! And don’t even get this aviation enthusiast started on “Top Gun” which Quentin Tarantino described with laser-guided precision as “One man’s struggle against his own homosexuality”. It is a profoundly gay movie and don’t get me started on it in terms of fighter planes or we shall be here all day. MiG-28! For fuck’s sake!
Hollywood does have leading men that are attractive.
I said I’ve never met a woman (or man) who thought Cruise was fanciable but by the same token everyone seems to think George or Brad have something going for them (and they do – good looks and charm go a long way). Everyone I have ever known has thought that and everyone of them also thought Johnny Depp was utterly gorgeous (and he is). They all though thought Cruise was a sleazy short-arse (he is a very limited actor – unlike Depp – and the only roles he does well are sleaze balls) and that didn’t light their fires at all. So why is he such a hugely successful actor? And more to the point why is he therefore considered leading man material?
Cruise can’t really act, has no sexual attractiveness and is a sofa jumping nut-job so why is he famous? Why?
And I’m not even mentioning Scientology? (Hells’ teeth the Chrome spell checker gets “Scientology”!”. Except I don’t.
Now I am an agnostic but for some reason I believe transubstantiation to be vastly more plausible than Xenu. In short I believe that the idea that God became man is not risible – I don’t believe it – but it is not just raving mad. Scientology is. It involves interstellar DC-8s dropping people in a volcano. That is bollocks on stilts.
So, apparently, did Nicole Kidman who divorced the short-arsed fudge-packing twatter. Gawd alone knows who got Katie Holmes up the duff but Cruise was probably felching that fucktard Matt Damon at the time.
Whilst being arse-fucked by Robin Williams. “Good Will Hunting”? More like “Good Will Cunting” if you ask me.
But then apparently a lot of British women find Robbie Williams sexy despite him being an utterly talentless warbler who combines off-key caterwauling with being a profound wanker and also being clearly gayer than an entire fucking tree full of monkeys.
It’s tough being a bloke. I can tell you.
And before anyone starts I am not at all homophobic. This was composed largely under the influence of Belinda Carlisle.
I just think Cruise is a complete and utter twat.
Sorry for posting an obvious truism.