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February, 2009:

All Your Kids Are Belong To Us

Jame Hulme of the New Local Government Network (who?) has this hateful nonsense in the Telegraph.

It’s about this idea for compulsory Civic Service for the yoof.

Let’s fisk it…

Whilst Hampstead liberals and professional harridans will no doubt balk at the idea, citing an abhorrent infringement of our young people’s liberty, the scheme could spark a revival in civic pride and help to tackle unemployment, crime and anti-social behaviour.

So your argument starts with a crude insult, James? “Civic pride” eh? Don’t people take pride in things they do voluntarily? I don’t suppose too many Soviet zeks were too Gulag-proud…

…but more importantly such a scheme could be a way to teach young people self-confidence, self-worth and the virtue of work.

Heck, if they don’t work then just enslave ‘em. Problem solved! Yeah, toting those bales of cotton in Alabammy 200 years ago really did taught the “virtue of work” for it’s own sake.

You don’t have to be a paid-up member of the hug-a-hoodie brigade to recognise that the root of why many young people get into trouble is not necessary just because of poverty, but because of low aspiration, no role models and no moral guidance.

What moral guidance does putting them into the chain gang give anyone…

Take, for instance, a teenager who has grown up in a household where nobody has ever worked. Then say he leaves school without any qualifications. What chance does he have of making something of himself? What is the likelihood that he will become involved in crime and gangs? By insisting that he undertakes a volunteering scheme, he will have a chance to learn new vocational and academic skills, meet new people and achieve things that might just turn his life around.

OK, so the kid has left compulsory education with no “vocational and academic skills” so you, James, suggest that six more months of conscription will do the trick and “turn his life around”? Yeah, right. And the least I say about the Orwellian oxymoron of “…insisting he undertakes a volunteering scheme…” soonest mended. How do you propose to implement this anyway?

On a practical basis, critics will argue that the scheme would be vastly expensive and bureaucratic. It will no doubt be decried as illiberal, often by the sort of middle-class families whose children already have the opportunity to undertake voluntary work, albeit in faraway countries. A national scheme would indeed be costly, but the benefits would outweigh this. Indeed, how much might the scheme reduce crime, drug dependency and anti-social behaviour? How much might it save by preventing a young person from embarking on a life of worklessness?

Lots of question there James. Lots. Not a single answer. Oh and it is illiberal. Oh, and you’re back to slagging off the middle-classes again and yet again completely failing to understand the meaning of the word “volunteer”.

The old form of military service is not on the agenda but that is not to say we shouldn’t seriously look at a compulsory form of civic service. It is not an authoritarian idea; certainly no more than insisting that young people attend school. It would not solve Britain’s problems overnight but would give young people are real stake and sense of belonging in our society.

It is an authoritarian idea. It is slavery which is generally regarded as being a lickle bit on the authoritarian side. It would not give anyone “a sense of belonging” other than a sense of “belonging to” as in being owned. But that’s your point, you fascist cunt, isn’t it?

I have a better idea. If this “socially useful labour” needs doing why can’t we force the Think Tankers and Quangoists and all the rest to do it? Eh, go on James. Round up all your pals and labour to built the Glorious Socialist Future! Because I have seen elderly scrotes cough-up more valuable things onto pavements outside of bookmakers than the shite you wrote in this article.

Beyond Ropes & Lamp Posts

A while back I signed this petition at the Downing Street website.

“We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to resign due to gross financial incompetence in running the British economy.”

Today I received the this reply from Gordon Broon or rather whichever pathetic twat in the office writes this shit rather than does the decent thing and remove that cunt Brown’s one good eye with a paper knife and calls it their “resignation”.

Here is the first paragraph.

The success of the Government’s macroeconomic framework, introduced in 1997, means that the UK is facing the international financial crisis and the recession it has caused around the world from a solid foundation. Credible medium term objectives and mechanisms for short-term flexibility mean that the Bank of England and the Government can deliver the necessary support to the economy without compromising their commitments to low inflation and sound public finances.

Not only does that not even answer the question I have heard it all before and it is utter bollocks and clearly they had to play that pigeon-chested abatoir-creeper Mandelsnake’s arse-bugle long and hard to come up with THAT. A reply of “Fuck off” would have at least been honest…

This was on the same day I saw that partially sculptured turd in a suit Broon say he was bunging RBS £300,000,000,000 immediately after they had announced the worst corporate loss in British History.

Lying, devious, incompetent, duplicitous, mendacious, arogant, distainful, patronising fuckers. Ever last bugger-cunting one of them.

I’m well beyound wanting to see the fuckers lynched or beaten to death in the streets. I want to see them humiliated. I want to see them destroyed and broken gibbering wrecks before they are publically tortured to death using methods of Afghan brutality and Chinese ingenuity.

But what I really want is something I know I can never get. I want genuine confessions. I want them to beg forgiveness from the Universe for the atoms they have occupied for all of their miserable, pathetic, shitty, malicious years. I want them all to know before they take their last trip that their lives have been utterly wasted and thoroughly malignant. I don’t want them cast from the tumbril (or more likely into the political wilderness) to be wondering “Where did we go wrong?” I want every fibre of their beings to resonate for the rest of their lives – whatever time is left to them – with an overwhelming feeling that everything they have ever been or said or done was wrong. But I know that will never happen because the only thing that resonates though every fibre of their beings is arrogance. Sheer unbroachable adamantine arrogance.

British Values

The reprehensible NewLabour dwarf, Bleary*, has come up with some utterly codswalloping claptrap about the need to uphold traditional British values.

One of the most traditional British values is the idea that you can only be married to one woman at a time. In fact polygamy has been illegal under English law since 1604.

So how come we aren’t upholding this particular British value and allowing thousands of Muslim men (some undoubtedly of er… dubious immigration status) not only be prosecuted for this crime but are able to claim benefits for their harems and the progeny so produced.

Oh, I know. Screwing the Social probably is a “British value” now.

In other news. Binyam Mohammed got flown back “home” from Gitmo at a cost to the taxpayer of £120,000 onboard a chartered Gulfstream jet. Nice for him. Last time I flew back from the Carribean I was back in steerage on an Airbus. But then I am a British citizen (unlike Mr Mohammed) and I have never went larking around in the ‘stan playing jihadi. Which is probably what he was up to because his cover story that he travelled to Afghanistan (the home of opium) to kick a drug habit is risibile. So why should we take him back? He is an Ethiopian citizen whose only claim to a connection here is he pitched years back on a forged passport, was denied asylum and then (why?) given “exceptional leave to stay”.

He is now here in perpetuity. The poor lamb is now elligible for up to £21,600 pa in bennies. Or £5000 more than a British squaddie in Afghanistan. David Millipede (our own dear Foreign Secretary) is apparently “pleased” we’ve got the depraved fucker back.

But hey! It goes both ways… Those British Squaddies are increasingly fighting jihadis with Yorkshire and Birmingham accents.

It would appear the Government’s British values are somewhat confused. But what do you expect from the this utter shower of gits who promised “joined-up government”?

*Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it’s off to loot and pillage we go…


According to some survey of nonces, numpties and weirdoes (aka the Great British Public) these are, in order, the 20 people in the entire world that Brits most respect…

Have a think who and then see under the fold…

Saturn V

Neil and Buzz had their trip to the moon in 1969.

That was nearly forty years ago.

Why aren’t I holidaying on the shores of the fucking Sea of Tranquillity already?

I utterly fucking despair.


Well congratulations to Ms Winslet. (Link not safe for work unless you are a builder in the UK and then it is obligatory).

I haven’t seen “The Reader” but Kate has produced… ahem… a fine body of work.

And I rather fancy her. Now I know the dull harridans of the MSM have probs knocked themselves out on the subject of how Winslet’s Oscar is “a victory for ordinary women” and trotted out their usual diatribes against “stick thin supermodels” and “size zero” and all that malarkey.

But this is why I fancy Kate (can I call you Kate BTW?) She is a good actress – and being good at one does is always a turn-on. Yes, she is “bigger-boned” than some of her contemporaries but that’s not important. I can name other actresses who are the “stick insects” of Jane Moore’s ire who I think have “it” but it is not a specific body shape that confers “it”. “it” is much harder to define. Winslet might have a build closer to the mythical “real women” but that does not make her “ordinary” and the demented munterings of the hacks don’t make her so either. She is a star. She has stage presence and I have quite liked to be invited to climb into her hot-tub since I saw her in Heavenly Creatures. The film that made Peter Jackson and for something which features lezza schoolgirl porn really rather an intelligent movie. Winslet is brilliant in it. She is utterly St Trinian’s Head Girl.

OK. Then there was Titanic. One Titanic sank and the other one made a fortune and unfortunately that was the wrong way round. So my ardour for Kate also sank. I was three-timing Uma, Milla and Julie at the time. What won me back to Kate was her appearance in Extras with Ricky Gervais. She played herself and demonstrated the same “essential filthiness” she had done in Heavenly Creatures. Either Winslet is a supreme actress and utterly capable of completely playing something other than herself when playing herself or she’s the real deal and a girl who can tell a filthy joke and when she takes you to bed you know she’ll swallow rather than spit.

And it makes such a refreshing changer from all the boiler-plate “cause” obsessed lefty actresses who just exude a humourless, sexless, nothingness. They might make all the right noises about “sexual emancipation” but they just don’t get “dirtiness”*. Size doesn’t matter here. Personality does. And Kate has it.

OK. Madonna has a great body for her age. She does weird yoga and can put her legs behind her head. These things are sexy and the nude pics of her from c.1980 are very sexy but imagine having sex with Madonna? Your people would have to meet her people and contract it in triplicate. And just when you were getting into it and the material girl was putting her legs behind her head her Blackberry would go off because she had a 2-30 with her personal trainer…

Unless sex has a dirtiness, a naughtiness, a loucheness it is either the “lie back and think of England” breeding functionality which the Victorians are widely perceived to have exhibited or it’s the lefty idea which is equally sexless. Where the left went wrong was promoting an idea that sex ought to be “normalised”. Normalising it took away the thrill and made it, well, normal. Unless part of you thinks it’s just a little bit dirty then what is the fucking point? Taboos are fun to break but they have to remain so they are still fun to break. Otherwise where is the adventure and the glory?

I mean it’s the difference between reading a racy novel and reading a paper on the physiology of the clitoris. It’s the difference between making sweet sweet love to a beautiful woman on a Caribbean beach and writing a monograph on the biomechanics of the same.

Kate doesn’t seem po-faced. And that is why she is a star and that’s why I’m glad she now has a funny statuette on her mantelpiece.

Alas Kate has now vowed not to get her kit off in movies anymore. Oh, er… bugger.

*A male example should help here. Leonardo DiCaprio is a pretty boy but he doesn’t have the “it” of a George Clooney.

Utterly, utterly Cool…

This is cooler than God’s icebox.

Jade Goody

For those of you from Tau Ceti, Jade Goody is a nonentity dying of cancer.

Jade Goody is getting married today. Very publicly.

I mean OK. Fine. I can understand her desire to make a few quid for her kids and all that and if she encourages parents to take up Gardasil for their daughters then some good comes from the awfulness of a 27 year old mother of two dying very horribly and very publicly.

But this was top story on BBC News 24. And it’s the details that get me. Her wedding dress was donated by Harrods owner Mohammed Al Fayed and has a specially tailored pouch for Ms Goody’s morphine. Do I need to know that? Max Clifford thinks that I do. For he is her publicist.

Now I have nothing per se against Max Clifford. He is undeniably very good at what he does. I first heard of him when he represented Michael Barrymore. He got Barrymore off the hook after a rather rococco incident at his Essex Mansion. For non-UK readers the short version was that following a drug-fuelled orgy at Barrymore’s gaff a dead body was found in his swimming pool with severe rectal injuries consistent with the chap having been anally raped with a broomhandle. It killed Mr Barrymore’s career as a family entertainer. Clifford managed to get Barrymore off the legal hook. God himself couldn’t resuscitate his TV career. If you can imagine Peewee Hermann raised to the power of Michael Jackson you are getting close.

Anyway, back to Jade Goody… I’m just finding the coverage surreally obscene. Clifford has actually been asked if he’s planning on selling the footage of the actual moment of her death. He isn’t but the fact that such a thing was even mooted is beyond rational comprehension.

And also weird. Just bizarre. Mainly because it has involved rewriting history. Because the history of Jade Goody is infinitely malleable and has been since she first shot to “celeb status” when on Big Brother she “got her kebab out”. Jade Goody is a quantum. The tabloids have vacillated between “Good ol’ Jade, sound as a pound cockney sparrow” and “Jade Goody, foul mouthed racist idiot who is denser than a neutron star and an utter slag”. Sometimes simultaneously. It is beyond rational comprehension. Jade Goody is famous for three things. Making an arse of herself on Channel Four’s Big Brother, making a racist arse of herself on Celebrity Big Brother (which she was only on because she made an arse of herself on Big Brother – this is getting absurdly self-referential and therefore non-linear) and dying of cervical cancer. What the hell does anyone make of that? Well a bundle of sponds if you’re Max Clifford. But I dunno. Which is why I am typing this drivel and not Max Clifford’s press releases and living high on the hog.

The dim bint on the BBC this morning said to Clifford something very odd. She said “Jade is getting her fairytale wedding”. OK. I can understand why Ms Goody wants to marry her boyf. Absolutely. But “fairytale”? OK. I can understand the pretence as far as Ms Goody and her friends and family are concerned. I really can. Life dealt her a truly lousy deck and I hope she has a marvellous day. But “fairytale”? They usually have a marriage towards the end and close with the line, “And they all lived happily ever after”. When you consider Jade Goody has eight weeks that is verging on sick. And of course Jack Tweed, the groom, is hardly Prince Charming. He is out on a tag after having done time for GBH for twatting a kid with a golfing racket. This is not a fairytale. This is a terminally ill woman marrying a lag on a tag. I’m not slagging her off for that. If she loves him and he loves her then it is fitting that her final weeks are within the bounds of marriage. And flogging the exclusive rights to LivingTV and Hello! is, I guess, OK (not them too?) to because that will provide for her sons but…

Whilst in principle there is nothing wrong with any of this it is still tackier than page 3 of the Sun in a builder’s outdoor convenience. But more than that it is utterly odd. The whole story elicits empathy for someone who’s life story is so utterly different from mine that I have none. I have sympathy. I cannot have empathy. Moreover my sympathy for Jade Goody is sincere. It is not based upon some ersatz Ricki Lake idea that I “share her pain”. I don’t. I can’t imagine her pain. I have absolutely no idea what she is going through. I wish “proper” journalists would show the humility to appreciate that they can’t either. But that is another way in which Jade Goody is quantum. She is the victim (by a certain reading) of a tabloid feeding-frenzy but (by a different but equally valid reading) those sharks have provided for her her dying wish – a lavish wedding (which I do not begrudge her) and a load of cash for her kids (which nobody could begrudge).

I have no idea what I think beyond that. Like those tabloids which have swung violently between Jade=Evil and Jade=Good I am beyond knowing anymore.

All I know is that Ms Goody is dying of a fucking horrible disease and that her death is strangely like her life.

I shall leave the last word to my wife:

“Finally they have made a snuff movie”.


At 140 Craig is almost certainly the oldest resident of Brooklyn.

He has been on death row sentenced to be chucked in a pan of boiling water at the Halu Japanese Restaurant & Grill.

He has been pardoned and will be released into the mighty Atlantic.

Apparently the utter mentalists of PETA are involved.

But, despite that, fair enough. Let him roam free off the coast of Maine.

I do have two questions though.

1. I don’t eat invertebrates. Who the hell was the first bugger who saw a very large (and pinchy) bug and thought din-dins? I mean I think if I’d been around in caveman days and had “first contact” with said arthropod I’d have hurled a rock at it, ran away and then made a desperately unsuccessful attempt to get inside Raquel Welch’s fur bikini. Which oddly enough would have been more successful if I had captured said arthropod and served it with an appropriate sauce and a rather cheeky Burgundy.

2. Who the hell looked at that particular Lobster and thought, “let’s call him ‘Craig’”.

Why You Should Read This Blog…

Our Technorati score is 42.

That means three people (and a dog in Wyoming) read us.

The doggy is call Chuck.

I know because we Twitter.

He mainly says “woof”.

But 42.



What was the question again?

Chess, Music and Other Sins

This comes as no surprise.

I don’t like the article though. Hardly surprising as it comes from that comic The Express (which claims ludicrously to be “The World’s Greatest Newspaper” – it’s OK for lighting fires – I’ll give it that).

Why do I not like it? because this isn’t about Islamic nut-jobs banning our culture. It is about them banning culture full-stop. Music is not a Western only conceit. Neither is fantastic literature or sport. Have you read the 1001 Nights or seen an Indian or Pakistani cricket crowd recently?

That is the point. Islamism is not a culture opposed to ours. It is opposed to all culture. To everything fine or noble (or just fun) in any culture. It is so deadeningly nihilistic that it can afford no distraction from it’s central goals of power and control, murder and chaos. Because Islamism is so horrendously dull that no distraction can be tolerated for the fear that someone’s interest in chess (hardly a Western innovation anyway) or cricket or music or secular literature will result in them developing interests beyond mindlessly droning away the recitation of the Qu’ran in a language that has been dead for over a thousand years.

I mean where knows where a bit of free inquiry might end?

That’s Islamist culture. It’s a void. It’s a non-space. It is the most evil, nihilistic ideology conceived by the minds of men. I mean even the fucking Nazis had the Horst Wessel Lied and the Soviets had the “Song of the Tractor”. Hardly Gilbert and Sullivan I’ll grant you but something at least.

We iz buggered

The UK national debt is now GBP 2 Trillion.

That’s GBP 2,000,000,000,000.

That’s fucking enormous.

I am a former astrophysicist and that means coping day-to-day with big numbers.

Very big numbers.

But that one really wanked into the teacakes.

That’s Broon’s prudence. Putting us two fucking trillion in the hole. That is an amount of money beyond any rational conception.

A five pound note is 135 mm long. Two trillion in fivers would end-to-end stretch for 270 million km. Or a little bit over 200 round trips to the Moon.


In the UK (illegal) drugs are classified A,B,C. Blair dropped cannabis from B to C. Broon reversed this despite the governmental panel of scientists saying this was wrong. The same panel of scientists have recently said that ecstasy (MDMA) shouldn’t be class A but ought to be downgraded. Jacqui Smith, the current pig-in-knickers at the Home Orifice, has said this would send out the “wrong message” or some such demented muntering to the Daily Mail reading classes.

I have one question. What the fuck do they pay these scientists for if they then utterly ignore their advice?

I think I know. And it is as utterly dismal as you might imagine.

Government has to be seen as being “to the right” of scientific views. The scientific view is just there as a baseline so the government can therefore look “tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime” in comparison to it.

Real science has nothing to do with it. It is merely the fig leaves that Jacqui uses to cover her pendulous dugs and wizard’s sleeve of a minge. As far as covering her arse is concerned – I dunno. There are flight decks of Nimitz-class carriers that wouldn’t manage that feat.

And yes, I do mean flight decks.

Not in Kansas Anymore, Toto…

Fred Phelps is a very strange and hateful personage. He is quite simply a loon and an arsehole. He is also very difficult to take seriously. He is pastor of Westboro “Baptist Church”. Well I guess it’s his church and he can call it what he likes but the sane US Baptists (i.e. all the rest of them) aren’t happy about it.

I first stumbled across a few years back. I thought it was a spoof. I so thought it a spoof that I emailed a sub-editor of a Topeka newspaper who replied saying that Fred Phelps was “regrettably real”. Phelps is nuts. Now it’s imaginable to buy part of his thesis. He doesn’t like gay people. OK, fine, not uncommon but what really distinguishes him from the average homophobic nut-job is where he goes next with it… He is on record as calling George W Bush a “fag-enabler”. Yes that George W Bush. You know the guy who considered changing the constitution to ban gay marriage. I assume “fag-enabler” meant that Bush wasn’t mobilizing the National Guard to burn San Fran’s Castro district to the ground. Oh, and Dick Cheney’s daughter is a lesbian. The Phelpsites (and they are not large in number) also have the websites “” and indeed “”. They are big on “hate”. They might be insane nutters but hate is something they do very well. They do hate in spades. Mr Phelps’ previous big hits include picketing funerals and memorial services for AIDS victims and also US soldiers and Marines killed in Iraq and the ‘stan. Not that those soldiers were gay or anything (some will have been no doubt) but in Phelp’s utterly warped mind every IED that goes off is set by God to punish America for “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.

The funeral pickets are so utterly despicable that it is a wonder Phelps hasn’t been filled in. That he hasn’t is a testimony to the America that Phelps so rabidly hates. Perhaps he was ignored because picketing the funeral of a soldier because of the USA’s tolerance of homosexuality is quixotic in it’s bizarreness. picketing a bar full of men with moustaches and wearing chaps and not much else and holding hands would make some sort of sense but an Army funeral?

Anyway Mr Phelps has been elected a member of the “Wilders’ Club” by our own dear and ever so liberal Home Secretary. Just one note to – the county is “Hampshire” not “Hamshire” but I quite like the latter in the context – which was Phelps planning on raising Cain over a play being put on by a college. Jeezus doesn’t Phelps have anything better to do than fly 4000 miles (and some of those flight attendants are rather fruity) to, in the words of his daughter, “…picket a second-rate play, put on by a third-, fourth-rate college. What the heck?” Yes, what the heck indeed. What the hecking heck.

But should he be denied entry for this strange activity? And it is strange. If Wichita Friends University (it does exist) put on a play I didn’t care for I suspect I wouldn’t go. I find it very easy to avoid going to Kansas, living in England and all. It is remarkable how often I actually don’t go to Kansas and see things I find objectionable, such as a sermon from Mr Phelps.

Of course not. Not only does his right to shout spite trump Jacqui Smith’s right to spout shite but are we really scared of such a pathetic and risible figure as Mr Phelps? A gay friend of mine who is also physically disabled wouldn’t find Mr Phelps threatening. Mr Phelps is Roger Irrelevant. He is completely hat-stand. He’s a git but he’s a completely hat-stand git. He once called Santa Claus a kiddie-fiddler. Are we now actually frightened of such utter loons? I’m much more frightened of Jacqui Smith roaming the corridors of Whitehall like some Happy Shopper Boadicea “protecting us” from “nasty men” than of a frankly deranged septuagenarian Septic or a Dutch fella with very odd hair saying stuff that I (largely) agree with.

Anyway. This is what ought to happen (this was how a previous Phelpsian extravaganza ended)…

They recently protested outside Shawnee Mission East High School in Prairie Village over the school’s selection of a gay homecoming king last year. Hundreds of students staged a counter protest and raised money for AIDS research.

That’s how free people ought to respond to nutters, mentalists and archgittery. It is that simple and we don’t need Nanny Smith to do it for us either.

Because, make no mistake, if we hand-over that right to authoritarian pigs in knickers like Jacqui we are no longer free.

Just for you Fred, I present this video…

Yes, commies, the military, the Pet Shop Boys and The Gay Men’s Choir of New York. That video is what I assume Fred Phelp’s nightmares are like.

Fearless Lions of Jihad

From here:

Members of a Gaza family whose farm was turned into a “fortress” by Hamas
fighters have reported that they were helpless to stop Hamas from using them
as human shields. They told the official Palestinian Authority daily
newspaper that for years Hamas has used their property and homes for
military installations from which to launch rockets into Israel, dig tunnels
and store arms. According to the victims, those who tried to object were
shot in the legs by Hamas.

The following are excerpts from the article from the official Palestinian
Authority daily, Al-Hayat Al-Jadida:

“The Abd Rabbo family kept quiet while Hamas fighters turned their farm in
the Gaza strip into a fortress. Right now they are waiting for the aid
promised by the [Hamas] movement after Israel bombed the farm and turned it
into ruins…

The hill on which the Abd Rabbo family lives overlooks the Israeli town
Sderot, a fact that turned it into an ideal military position for the
Palestinian fighters, from which they have launched hundreds of rockets into
southern Israel during the last few years. Several of the Abd Rabbo family
members described how the fighters dug tunnels under their houses, stored
arms in the fields and launched rockets from the yard of their farm during
the nights.

The Abd Rabbo family members emphasize that they are not [Hamas] activists
and that they are still loyal to the Fatah movement, but that they were
unable to prevent the armed squads from entering their neighborhood at
night. One family member, Hadi (age 22) said: “You can’t say anything to the
resistance [fighters], or they will accuse you of collaborating [with
Israel] and shoot you in the legs.”

This is because they are “Freedom Fighters” and serve a higher cause which is mainly killing Jewish kids. Does your local playground have a bomb shelter and a 15 second warning – because that is all you get when the radar detects a Qassam rocket. No, unless you live in Sderot. Then it does. Then it needs it.

What true Lions of Jihad are they…. What fine and noble warriors they truly are!

I hope Allah is proud of the demented bastards because I am not.

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