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September, 2009:

Brown Barking Mad – Official

What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

- J Danforth Quayle.

Well Our Own Dear Leader has clearly lost his…

In a BBC Radio Four interview at the Labour conference in Brighton, the Prime Minister accepted that the Conservatives are the clear favourites to win the general election next year, but insisted he can still win over the “mainstream middle” of Britain.

Admitting the odds are against him and his party, he said: “I accept we are the insurgents, we are not the incumbents.”

Win over mainstream Britain? The deranged fucker has just had the Sun come out in favour of the Tories. Now I’m open to two theories. Brown has just lost the plot completely and this is like watching King Lear withouth the poetry of Shakespeare or that Lord Voldemorte has finally put the big ju-ju on Gordon. In either case, what the hell was that about insurgents? Aren’t the British Army fighting them tooth and claw in the ‘stan right now? It gives me an idea…

When it was put to him that it will be hard for Labour to win the election, Mr Brown replied: “Everything has been hard. My life has been about fighting against difficulties that sometimes appear insuperable.”

Primarily that has been his clearly failing struggle with reality.

He said: “Sun readers, when they get a chance to hear what we are saying on anti-social behaviour, on cancer, they will see that this is very much in line with the mainstream middle of this country.”

In a coded attack on the public life and privileged background of David Cameron, the Tory leader, Mr Brown depicted himself as humble, simple man. He said: “I am as open and honest as possible. I don’t parade my family around the place. I came from a pretty ordinary background in Scotland.”

So he’s now going to cure cancer? By next May? Well I guess Al Gore invented the internet in a weekend. The UK has cancer survival rates on a par with much poorer Poland. And yes, that after twelve years of Labour “investment” in the NHS. Don’t get sick in Britain because it might well kill you and I’m not just talking about the disease. As to Mr Brown or Mr Cameron’s background. I do not give a toss. I’ll give him this though. He is a simple man though not in the sense he means. I have met more sophisticated economic minds running whelk stalls.

In a BBC television interview, Mr Brown said that his economic policies have not yet paid off, but when they do, Labour’s position will improve. “When people see that the action we took, which was quite unique, they will be able to see results.”

Yes, Gordon, that shall come to pass. I do like “quite unique” though… Yes, it was and it was for a reason. Unlike say France or Germany we don’t have a Maximum Leader who is quite uniquely deranged. That is no endorsement of the Sarcophagus or the Merkin, mind. They are just not as catastrophically destructive to their nations. And the whole tone of that paragraph is “Yeah, I know the last ten racing tips I gave you were disasters but…”

There was some stuff about MPs expenses but that has been done to death.

They formed a significant part of measures laid out by Mr Brown that will be the basis of Labour’s election platform next year, including new laws covering anti-social behaviour, teenage pregnancies and elderly care.

A National Care Service will be established to give free care at home to patients suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Teenage single mothers will be placed in shared hostels where they will be monitored by social workers, he announced.

How the fuck (if you will pardon the word) do you legislate against teens getting jiggy? The National Care Service sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. My Gran had Alzheimer’s and care was provided by charities and the local council and and from my parent’s wallets and very good it was too. And imprisoning teenagers who have given birth? What is this 1920? “Monitored by social workers”. Yeah, that’s gonna work. And in any case it would be fair to say the horse has not just bolted by that point but is over the hills and far away.

In a move that is likely to antagonise many middle-income families, he proposed the abolition of tax relief on child care places to pay for free nursery places for the children of 250,000 parents from poorer backgrounds.

Hold on… Didn’t he talk about winning the “mainstream middle of the country” not long since? Has he gone completely hatstand? I mean is there a protocol to relieve a Prime Mentalist of power via a couple of doctors in high standing in the Royal College of Trick Cyclists to pronounce him barking mad and send for men in white coats with a bottomless van? There should be and we should long ago sent for the Freud Squad on this one.

It goes on but frankly I am losing the will to live. Read it all here, if you dare.

In conclusion New Labour are going to get a profound polling at the polls and there is nothing God, Mandelson or Polly can do about it. This Kitty Kounter shall have to sharpen his claws to take on the Cameronites. That is good because the current lot are not even fish to shoot in a barrel but dead turbots floating on the surface.


Whoopi Goldberg is facing a fierce backlash after saying that film director Roman Polanski didn’t commit “rape-rape” when he had unlawful sex with a 13-year-old girl.

Whoopi is a complete tit. Not so much for the sentiment which is purely that of the tribe of celebs rallying around one of their own. I note the petition now includes the signature of Woody Allen who fucked his own adopted daughter. I guess it’s pay-back time for Woody. But that’s not my main point. My main point is linguistic. Now we all (well all of us who sat through Sister Act anyway) know Ms Goldberg is not the sharpest pencil in the box but “rape-rape”? Has she been channelling Oprah? Have they done a mind-meld? Because “rape-rape” smacks somewhat of “vajayjay” which is Oprah’s baby-talk for the word “vagina”. Yes, vagina. See I’ve used it again. Grown-up people can use such words without embarrassment though in the case of Oprah I seem to prefer the term “twat”. Especially after she decided Obama was the One True King.

I can obviously see where Ms Goldberg is going in trying to excuse Polanski’s crime but the great irony is that the phrase (if I can call it that) “rape-rape” is oddly quite accurate for a case involving both vaginal (sorry vajayjayal) penetration and anal penetration. Roman Polanski did it. Get over it Hollywood because this is not Oscar Wilde being persecuted for a bit of man-love but one really depraved individual who fucked a child up the ass.

Read the whole thing. It is no wonder these people are entertainers if they can perform moral triple salcos like that because who knows what they can do when the director shouts, “Action!”?

PS I have seen one Polanski movie. I saw Rosemary’s Baby and thought it quite good. Although considering it showed a Satanic rape scene…

H/T indirectly to Julia M who made me think this through again.

Labour Conference

While acknowledging once more that Labour will have to make tough choices on tax and spending after the election, Mr Brown promised that a fourth-term administration would “protect and improve” frontline services every year of the coming Parliament and will invest more money in schools.

Why do they always use military metaphors whilst treating our soldiers, sailors and airmen like shit?

In a slogan designed to draw clear defining lines with David Cameron’s Tories, Mr Brown repeatedly promised that Labour would always choose “the change that benefits the hard-working majority, not the privileged few.”

Beyond parody. So the charge nurse in A&E gets a pay rise and Lord Mandelson gets a paycut? Yeah, right that’s gonna happen! Actually I might have to go to A&E because I think I might have given myself a hernia whilst typing this.

With Labour plumbing new depths in the polls – including one which this morning put them in third place behind the Liberal Democrats – Mr Brown insisted that the party was “united and determined to fight for the future”.

Introduced on stage by wife Sarah as “my husband, my hero”, he won immediate applause and cheers from delegates as he opened his speech by telling them that Labour were “the fighters and believers who change the world – we have changed the world before and we are going to do it again”.

It’s like being fisted by a stranger. They are going to do it again. Oh fuck! And “My husband, my hero” is probably sending you, dear reader, right now to PC World in search of a new keyboard because vomit is a bastard to remove.

He told delegates he had acted “decisively and immediately” when Britain was “looking over a precipice” as banks teetered on the brink of failure last year, while Conservatives had taken decisions on the economy which were “consistently wrong”.

But the Tories haven’t taken any economic decisions since 1997!

“The Conservative Party were faced with the economic call of the century and they called it wrong,” he said.

But, as I hinted before, how does he know? There were Tory policies of course but arguing about them is merely theoretical at best.

“And I say a party that makes the wrong choices on the most critical decisions it would have faced in government should not be given the chance to be in government.”

Amen to that!

New Labour. Click. Off. Gone.

From the Indy

The Thin End of a Slippery Slope

It happened because we thought it couldn’t.

Commentator Anax on CiF. Via the heresiach.

Roman’s Holidays

I don’t recall seeing one of Polanski’s films. I guess they’re quite “arty”. I tend to prefer movies in which Bruce Willis wears a dirty vest and blows things up.

Because the girl in question (now a middle-aged woman of course) doesn’t want to press charges then charges should not be pressed.

But… I also do find it outrageous that Polanksi is now seen as the victim by so many. The front page of today’s Indy heralds a “Great Polanski debate”. Apparently there is a petition to get him released amongst the stars of the red-carpet. Monica Bellucci and Fanny Ardant are amongst the signatories. Now I have no idea who Fanny Ardent is though she sounds like a minor porn star but Bellucci! Great T & A but clearly nothing upstairs. This is partly predicated upon the “it was a long time ago” argument which I must admit has legs but only because the victim thinks the same. I suspect she doesn’t want to drag all that stuff back up. Fair enough. Her call but not Ms Bellucci’s call or Heavens forfend the readers of The Independent.

But there is also an idea that Great People are somehow above the law. That Genius, like Prometheus should be unbound. It begs a question. Should a genius be able to do things the rest of us can’t?

Yes. Obviously. They have the power to compose symphonies which will live until evolution deprives us of ears. They have the power to reformulate Quantum Mechanics or do a little decorating in the Sistine Chapel. That’s what genius is really about and what it allows. It does not allow anyone to drug and anally rape a 13 year old girl. Which frankly is not an act that requires a genius – just a teenager and a pervert of the first water. For that very fact Polanski’s alleged greatness as a film-maker is no excuse whatsoever and is in fact a very silly excuse.

What really bugs me though is the willingness of the great and the good and the studios and the stars to not just grant Polanski a bye on this one but to actively support him and to have actively supported him for years after they knew what he had done. I mean he’s not the kinda guy I’d hire or hang-out with at premieres. I’d be over trying to get Bruce’s hancock.

I can’t help but compare Polanski’s treatment by his cohort to that of Mel Gibson. OK, getting pissed senseless and driving and then launching into a bizarre tirade against the arresting officer is bad but it’s hardly the same ballpark is it? To put it bluntly it shows Gibson up as a first-class twat. Polanski’s actions show him up as utterly depraved. But whilst Gibson is rightly a pariah around Hollywood, Polanski is a flawed genius. It’s just wrong. It seems to be a weird form of snobbery. If you do stuff posh folks like you can get away with murder but if you entertain the peanut munching masses then they’ll crucify you. I mean that half-wit Barrymore hasn’t had a gig since his one-off show Only Pools and Corpses bombed.

I apologise to American readers for that. They probably won’t really get that sentence.

PS. “Holidays” is British lag slang for doing time in the big house.

Post democratic Britain

What the hell is this all about with Mandelson offering his services to the next government?

Isn’t Cameron going to even make a pretence at excising the poison from British government?

If this Noble Lord gets any closer to government than the backbenches of the House of Lords what will be the point?

If the viper just switches sides and keeps his influence why should any of us bother next time?

First Amendment

That is from the newly re-instated yet still utterly reprehensible Islamic Awakening forum where they think it hilarious. I found it very disturbing. Brainwashed? Like all that rocking back and forward in the madrassah reciting the Qu’ran endlessly isn’t just that very thing? There are certain areas of science the Muslims got to before the West. That aspect of psychology is definitely one. The association of words with a specific physical movement is astonishingly effective, when repeated, at imprinting ideas. Hence rosary beads and all the rest. So maybe they didn’t quite get there first exactly but they did get there in spades.

How else would any family decide to kill their daughter unless they were the Manson Family?

I would not be surprised if this happened in the UK. I am shocked at it happening in the USA. It could, as the IA mob seem to suggest, be a put-up job but that girl looked genuinely scared to me so by any stretch it is not something to find amusement in. I don’t care about religion myself but I care deeply about religious freedom and a 17 year old is mature enough to form her own ideas. By the time she is 27 or 37 those ideas might be different. That happens a lot too.

My favourite of Aesop’s Fables is this one. The Sun and the Wind had a bet over whether they could get this guy to get his coat off. Well, the Wind went first and blew and blew and he merely wrapped it around himself tighter. The Sun then turned the thermostat up. And after a while of course he took his coat off.

I read that as a very small kid and it stuck.

I have no time for religions that base their attraction on fear rather than love.

PS Note that Islamic Awakening Forums use the same Orwell quote as a tagline as does Harry’s Place. That is their only similarity.

Polly put the kettle on…

‘On the day when I became prime minister, I promised I would try my utmost. I have indeed worked night and day in the midst of the storm that has engulfed the world economy. I believe I have helped save this country from a depression as bad or worse than the 1930s. I have contributed to the global rescue of banks whose domino collapse threatened a terrifying meltdown. I encouraged a global fiscal stimulus that learned Keynes’ lessons.

Keynes was wrong.

“Make no mistake, had David Cameron and George Osborne been in power to do what they proposed, the catastrophe doesn’t bear thinking about. With ATM machines within hours of shutting down, the Conservatives urged us to do nothing, spend nothing, laissez-faire and let it happen. Supermarket shelves would have emptied in a chaos of panic. To spend money then was to invest in saving us all, and the debts we incurred were a price well worth paying. Had we not spent that money, the cost of total collapse would have been unimaginably higher. We do indeed need to repay the money borrowed, but over time, with care, at a sustainable pace, without destroying the fabric of our much improved public services.

Wild speculation from Polly, for it is she. Much improved public services? Like getting my bin emptied once a fortnight and not once a week. High-fives all round for that Pol!

“Unemployment now is our greatest concern: we will not create another lost generation of young people. With extra apprenticeships and every effort, bending each department to the task, we will not let it happen again. Yet Cameron and Osborne are bent on doing just that, turning their ‘Broken Britain’ fallacy into a horrible reality. They tell us they would cut deeply, immediately, before recovery is established. We never forget the cruelty of Mrs Thatcher’s 1980s cuts, the social destruction and despair, the public squalor and the doubling of children in poverty – too many children are still poor today despite our best efforts.

Unemployment certainly is their greatest concern. The official figures (which are always finessed) look set to top 3 million by the end of the year. Woo hoo! That’s up there with the worst of the Thatcher era that was the result of the epic mess Mrs T inherited from Labour. Polly, I know you have a villa in Tuscany and presumably a smart gaff in London but take a trip on the 192 bus along the A6 through South Manchester. It’s FUBAR. The number of once successful businesses that are now boarded-up is astonishing. And that’s your beloved Labour Party Pol-Pot. That’s taxes and regulations and smoking bans and the elfnsafety. And finally, If too many children are still too poor after twelve years of Labour meddling does that perhaps not suggest that that meddling was misdirected?

“I cannot stand by and let the Conservatives do it again – same blueprint, same economic errors, multiplying social problems for years to come – and all for what? To pay down a sustainable deficit too far, too fast. Nothing learned, nothing changed – same ideology, same blind indifference to national wellbeing. Look at the harm their Europhobia is already inflicting on Britain’s role in Europe as they leave the mainstream for a ragbag party of neofascists, racists and wreckers. I cannot stand by and let William Hague take us to the European departure gate.

Europhobia? I think Pol has been on the crystal meth again. I love Europe and holiday there mostly but I hate the EU. Polly has moved to pure fantasy-land here. The Tories have no desire to leave the EU. For that reason I vote UKIP. And leave Europe? Is Pol suggesting Admiral Billy Hague will harness the entire Royal Navy (what little is left of it) to our islands and tow us elsewhere?

“Each of us has a part to play to stop that happening. I have done my utmost. I am proud of so much that Labour has done, money well spent after decades of neglect. Who would have thought we could all but abolish NHS waiting lists? I will spare you the litany of Labour achievements – just look all around us.

Utter bollocks. Abolish NHS waiting lists! Which is why my wife had to wait over a month for a cancer biopsy result that was sent by second class mail during a postal strike by that other fine public service the Royal Mail.

“But as I see the challenge ahead, I fear that my utmost will not be enough and I am not the best person to lead this party into the next election. Fairly or unfairly, the public have decided. If I am no longer an asset to my party in the battle to keep the Conservatives from power, then I know my duty is to stand aside and let someone else succeed. That is the greatest service I can offer. I hope I have been the right person to see the country through a crisis. But I fear I am no longer the best person to take Labour’s good case to the electorate.

Utmost will? Pol is now in Leni Riefenstahl territory. And as to the rest of that paragraph… My only comment starts with the word “fuck” and ends with the word “off” and has no words in between.

“Our party is fortunate. In my cabinet I have an abundance of talent, younger and older, who would make Labour’s case well as next leader. The process of choosing the best one will not be divisive: we are remarkably united compared with any time in our past. On the contrary, I am confident that choosing a new leader will release all the dynamism in this party in the next stage of the long march for social justice: we are essentially a social democratic nation.

Oh, dear fuck… Of course it will be divisive you daft bint. The deranged harridan Harman and the failed NAZI Gauleiter Balls will be knocking spots off each other whilst Johnson gets it in the end by default and Mandy schemes… “Long march” – Pol, is that perhaps the best turn of phrase? “Essentially a social democratic nation” – er… Pol, we are essentially what we choose to elect and not what you choose to believe.

“Someone new will find it easier than I to talk honestly of mistakes we have made. Of course, in 12 long years any government gets things wrong. Sometimes a scapegoat is useful to draw the understandable anger people feel at how risk and greed in the banks caused so many to lose jobs, homes and pensions. I take the blame for failing to see the full danger building up in our financial sector – though goodness knows, we shared that mistake with every other country and economist. But had we followed the Conservatives’ persistent demands to deregulate everything, how much worse the crisis would have been. Even now the Conservatives would demolish the FSA – whose chair, Adair Turner, has spelled out what must be done to restrain greed and risk from now on.

Right, so you’re now bitching that the Tories would abolish the FSA whilst admitting that they failed to avert the crisis. I have studied logic. I’ll be Mandelson’s catamite before I can figure out what you studied.

“But if the case can be better put by others, I will not stand as an obstacle in the fight ahead. By stepping aside, I give this urgent warning to voters: however angry you are at what has happened, however alarmed you are by a national debt that was necessarily incurred to prevent worse disaster, do not inflict on yourselves and the nation a government ideologically intent on harming so many of the services you depend on.

We only depend on those services because Labour has conclusively buggered the private sector. Re-read that please dear reader. It’s a rather nasty threat predicated upon the idea that all your everythings are belong to us. Oh, and I am alarmed by the National debt. It’s catastrophic. Adjusted for inflation it is more than the cost of the Great War and that’s just for the porkulus to the banks etc.

“Ask yourselves what you value most in life. Most precious are those things we can only purchase together: health, education, safety in the streets, fine public spaces, parks, museums, sports grounds and beautiful public buildings. No shop sells anything we prize so highly. Don’t let all these good public things descend again into the petty squalor of the 1980s and 1990s for the sake of a few more pounds in your pocket. The small state is the squalid state, penny-pinching, mean-spirited and devoid of things that make a country proud.

OK, Pol… Sports grounds are owned by people like Roman Abramovich, education can be provided privately (I have tutored privately for example). The rest is unfiskable nonsense. Tesco sells food. I think we prize that quite highly for otherwise we die.

“I am glad to have played my part in helping rebuild Britain’s public realm. But I know my limitations well enough to stand down at the right time to let one of my talented colleagues take up the baton and run with it to a victory at the next election.”

Pol has now gone beyond fantasy and entered the land of kiddie make-believe where she commutes to the Guardian office astride a pink unicorn called Barack. God himself could lead the Labour party and they would still lose. Pol, your folks fucked up epically. They destroyed the remains of British industry and thought they could run an economy entirely on the basis of a credit bubble. Yeah, I know other countries did similar but not to the same extent (apart from Iceland obviously).

I have read a few articles in my time by Pol but this draft of hers for Gordoom’s abdication (which she desires) is the most delusional yet. She clearly needs to consult the OED as to the definition of “invest” and then get herself gone to a nunnery – if they’ll have her.

Broon can go run a small B&B in Fife that would make Faulty Towers look like the Ritz. I don’t really care anymore. He is merely a symptom of the disease that is the progressive “consensus” that in this piece the Polmeister demonstrates so aptly. The extent to which she demonstrates her raw belief that her way is the only way is breathtaking.

From CiF, obviously.

Barry’s America

Damn, Seems the expropriation and handover of Chrysler to the UAW and Fiat is still not a completely done deal.

The State of Indiana, in the person of Treasurer Richard Murdoch, is

petitioning the [Supreme] Court to rule on Barack Obama’s blatant disregard of the U.S. Constitution, Article 1, Section 8, which explicitly authorizes Congress, and not the president, to determine bankruptcy laws. In particular, Murdock is challenging the president’s unashamed indifference to more than 220 years of bankruptcy precedent, which puts senior, or secured, creditors ahead of junior, or unsecured, creditors during bankruptcy proceedings.

Good on him. About time someone with clout seriously challenged the corruption of this deal. It stank then, and it stinks now.

Camelot, pah.