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November 4th, 2011:

Feck off Frack Off.

Bugger it!  The alarmist bullshit being flung around by the greenies and the braindead media over the estimated 200 trillion cubic feet of gas locked inside the Bowland Shale deposit has dragged me out of blogging oblivion. I have been paying attention to the” shale gas drilling causes earthquakes” story.  You see, I live a handful of miles distance from Cuadrilla’s “ground zero” test rig near Singleton, Lancashire, so I have a dog in this fight.

I’ll begin with a recent Grauniad story. It seems that some of Singleton’s residents have seen a film called Gasland, a twisted, fact-lite piece of brazen propaganda that does for shale gas what An Inconvenient Truth is doing for Carbon Dioxide.

While villagers are sympathetic to the aims of finding new sources of energy for the UK, and hopeful it might create jobs, many have seen the US film Gasland, which shows allegedly contaminated tap water and the devastation wreaked on swaths of farmland across the US as a result of untrammelled shale gas exploration.

Ooooh!  Untrammelled devastation!  Bye-bye Singleton and the annual Maize Maze.  I knew you well (sic).

There is nothing “alleged” about methane in tap water.  It is recognised that,  in certain areas of the US, methane from natural seepage has been present in tap water for decades, long before fracking occured.  While there is plenty of speculation that fracking may cause contamination of drinking water the proof remains elusive and anecdotal (rumour and alarmism).  The outright alarmist lie is the statement I have highlighted.  Try Googling for it.  All you’ll find is fears that farting cows are causing global warming and a lot of ifs, buts and shale gas handwringing alarmism from greenie blogs.  What you won’t find is actual devastation from untrammelled shale gas exploration.  Phelim Not Evil, Just Wrong McAleer thoroughly debunks the Gasland claims.  Shame the Grauniad numpties didn’t do a little investigative journalism of their own.  They prefer to frighten science-ignorant Singleton pensioners out of their rocking chairs instead.

Yes, there were two minor seismic events near Blackpool this year.  A 2.3 pointer on 1st April and a 1.4 pointer on May 27th.  I didn’t feel a thing.  My ornaments didn’t rattle and my roof didn’t cave in.  So the minuscule tremors were caused by Cuadrilla drilling thousands of feet below the Lancashire earth.  So what.  But then, it seems that the Frack Off protestors trying to prevent Cuadrilla boring holes, equate earthquakes  no one can feel and that are only detectable using instruments with the real devastation caused by movement in the Japanese subduction zone earlier this year.  It’s the same stupid greenie groupthink that Clegg is using to prevent the building of new nuclear power stations in Britain even though we don’t have seismically induced tsunamis.

Of course, Al Jabeeba gets its ha’porth in.

It is “highly probable” that shale gas test drilling triggered earth tremors in Lancashire, a study has found.

Gotta love those scare quotes.  To be honest, I’d put money on that high probablility being an absolute.  You see, I don’t think it’s possible to drill thousands of feet down and not cause small, seismic tremors.  However, I’m not about to put my house on the market and flee Lancashire while waving my arms in the air and screaming blue murder.

But the report, commissioned by energy firm Cuadrilla, also said the quakes were due to an “unusual combination of geology at the well site”.

It was the wrong kind of geology wot dun it.  So Says the Cuardrilla commissioned report which absolutely has to be biased.  What a feeble excuse, eh Beeboids?

It said conditions which caused the minor earthquakes were “unlikely to occur again”.

I doubt that.  But the quakes are so tiny they are not a major cause for concern.  The Beeboids and Frack Off on the other hand…

Protesters opposed to fracking, a gas extraction method, said the report “did not inspire confidence”.

Of course it didn’t.  Shale gas doesn’t feature in the greenie dystopian nightmare utopian dream of blackouts boundless renwable energy from wind turbines and solar panels that don’t produce much energy at all actually.  Also, a shale gas boom will kick the feed-in tariff into the long grass and revive our struggling economy.  Hopefully, all those subsidy parasites greenie industries will go to the wall when an enlightened government plugs the udders of the sustainable energy cash cow and distributes last fags and blindfolds.  Well a girl can dream, can’t she?

A study by The British Geological Survey placed the epicentre for each quake about 500m away from the Preese Hall-1 well, at Weeton, near Blackpool.

Yeah, unfortunately the British Geological Survey scientists don’t believe that drilling for shale gas at Preese Hall poses a threat of devastating earthquakes.

But that’s not good enough for Frack Off.  Oh, no.  The zealots need to invent an even bigger scare and here it is:

Protesters have called for an end to fracking. There have been concerns that potentially carcinogenic chemicals could escape during the process and find their way into drinking water sources.

The tigers might escape from Blackpool zoo and chow down on kids anti-fracking protesters.  Does this mean we have to have them put down as a precaution?

“The contamination of irrigation water means that everyone’s food supplies could potentially be affected,” the Frack Off spokesman added.

It’s going to affect everyone?  Fracking takes place 2 kilometres down.  Please explain how the hell fracking fluid is going to contaminate surface water and affect everyone.  Can one catastrophic blow out from the Preese Hall well end the food chain as we know it?  Are we talking swathes of Grauniadistic “untrammelled devastation” here?  Do I seriously need to worry about buying Cape grapes, Heinz beans and Spanish broccoli?  Or is the Frack Off spokesman pulling alarmist soundbites out of his arse?

Friends of the Earth’s senior climate campaigner Tony Bosworth said: “This report shows fracking for shale gas caused earth tremors in Lancashire – experience in the US shows it could also pollute air and water supplies.

Polluting air as well as water?  So not only will fracking fluids poison our water it’s going to be raining the bloody stuff too?  Can this shale gas monster possibly get any worse?  Well Tony Bosworth thinks so.

“Extracting shale gas would suck vital funding away from clean and safe energy alternatives that could create thousands more UK jobs.

Mass unemployment and no more wind turbines.  Oh noes!

“An early seismic detection system won’t be enough to make local people feel safe – there should be no more fracking in Britain until the health and environmental impacts are fully understood.”

Protecting people from cheap energy minor earthquakes that don’t affect them in the slightest.  How thoughtful.

Of course, Greenpeace has to stick its oar in too.

Doug Parr, chief scientist at Greenpeace, added: “Anyone who believes shale gas is the solution to our energy needs is being hopelessly naive.

Annoyingly realistic you mean. Or maybe the US shale gas boom is an illusion…

“There are significant unknowns about the local and global impacts of fracking, illustrated by the conclusion by seismologists that recent fracking in the North West was responsible for a minor earthquake.”

Two earthquakes actually.  And I couldn’t give two hoots about the global impact of quakes that won’t even create ripples in my Earl Gray.  However, I do give two hoots about access to an affordable and secure supply of constant light and heat as the climate cools.

He said fracking was a “distraction from the real challenges” and that “real energy solutions” would be found in using renewable sources.

Real energy solutions using renewable sources that produce zero energy when the weather goes moody, as it frequently does.  Ahah hah hah hah hah hah hah.  Please, do fuck off Doug Parr and take your humourless and people harming stand up comedy act with you.

Of course, we can’t go without a final word from WWF.

Nick Molho, head of energy policy at World Wildlife Fund UK, reiterated a call for a moratorium on fracking in the UK.

“These findings are worrying, and are likely to add to the very real concerns that people have about fracking and shale gas,” he said.

Real concerns?  Or concerns manipulated by the alarmist tripe the likes of the Grauniad and the eco-loon NGOs are so desperately trying to spread through the local population (to very limited success).  I’m surprised that they haven’t advised us to think of the chiiiiiiiildren.  Maybe they’re saving that one for the final volley.

Let us hope that more level heads will weigh the independent geological reports against the alarmist bias on the Cuadrilla Preece Hall rig and give the green light to drill, baby, drill.

On a final note, last week we held a County Council by-election after our local councillor sadly died.  The greens (who achieved a humiliating last place) were running a rather bizarre, bipolar campaign.  They were against Cuadrilla and shale gas on the grounds that methane is a far more potent greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide.  On the same ticket they were campaigning for the creation of a local rubbish tip…

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