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January 23rd, 2012:

Leonard of Quirm Strikes Again!

Anyone who knows the works of Sir Terry will be aware of the innovations of Leonard of Quirm and his complete inability to give them snappy names. Lord Vetinari ought to tell him just to put an “i” in front and Jobs done if you see what I mean.

It would appear the European science establishment has the same disease. What do you think the very large telescope they built in Chile is called? Here’s a clue. It’s generally known by it’s initials “VLT”. Then there is the Large Hadron Collider which is a large thing that collides hadrons. “Hadron” mind has been misprinted on occasion to general hilarity – well in physics you get your laughs where you can. But the Multi-Cubic Kilometre Neutrino Telescope or KM3NeT takes the last custard cream from the packet.

Run to the Hills Ma Parker, it’s the Feds…

This is a new one on me…

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Counter-terrorism Division and Cyber Crime Division
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC

Dear Beneficiary,

Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary
general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is
obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of
$850,000.00 due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the
fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have
taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which
has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the
receipt of your fund.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and
Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the
current president of Nigeria his Excellency President Good luck Jonathan to
boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other
individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their
Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes. Now how would
you like to receive your payment? Because we have two method of payment
which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will
use to withdraw up to $3,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the
Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 4 years time
which is 2015. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your
funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or
manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Even if you do not have a bank

Check: To be deposited in your bank for it to be cleared within three
working days. Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred
option and would be mailed to you via FedEx. Because we have signed a
contract with FedEx Express which should expire by 30th of January 2012 you
will only need to pay $135 instead of $420 saving you $285 So if you pay
before 30th of January 2012 you save $285 Take note that anyone asking you
for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudsters and
you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have
been in contact with any. Also remember that all you will ever have to
spend is $135.00 nothing more! Nothing less! And we guarantee the receipt
of your fund to be successfully delivered to you within the next 48hours
after the receipt of payment has been confirmed.

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government of
Nigeria, The United Nation and also the FBI and including taxes, custom
paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $135.

shipping your ATM card is $420 but because FedEx have temporarily
discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is
delivered for international shipping We had to sign contract with them for
bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual fee of $420 to
$135 nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!

To effect the release of your fund valued at $850,000.00 you are advised to
contact our correspondent in Africa the delivery officer Andrew Lamar with
the information below,

Name: Andrew D. Lamar

You are advised to contact him with the information’s as stated below:

Your full Name..
Your Address:…………..
Home/Cell Phone:…………..
Preferred Payment Method (ATM / Cashier Check)

Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package
is sent within 48 working hours. Because we are so sure of everything we
are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive
payment/package within the next 48hours after you have made the payment for

Yours sincerely,

TELEPHONE: (206) 309-0312
FAX: (202) 666-5283

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming
to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in
contact with Andrew Lamar of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person
to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you
get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence

Right firstly, if anyone owed me $850,000 I think I would have noticed. I once lent a colleague of Nigerian origin some change for the Coke machine at work and he repaid me the next day but then the reason the lad was living in England and not Nigeria was much though he loved many aspects of Nigerian life: food, culture, music etc he could not stand the endemic and epic corruption.

Secondly despite the impressive addresses that head and tail this the email address it is sent from is:

Are these people actually trying anymore?

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