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April 22nd, 2012:

Earth Day

Today is Earth Day. Woo-hoo! A band called “Cheap Trick” are playing the National Mall in DC. I wonder if their electricity comes from Windy Miller. I seriously fucking doubt it. Cunts. Utter cunts.

We have the concept of crimes against humanity. Green is one. they should all be cast into the same oubliette as NAZIs and Commies. Actually, I think they are worse. The NAZIs and Commies at least had some form of positive vision for the future (whether Aryan Supermen planting the Flag of the Reich on Mars or a sort of Star Trek: Next Generation total wealth scenario) and a belief in economic and technological progress (although Hitler of course had some rather romantic Green notions himself although that didn’t stop the Luftwaffe developing jet engines which are of course for True “no flying pact” Greens anathema). Oh, and snazzier uniforms. Well, the Nazis had anyway.

It is the most evil ideology I know of and the most dangerous because almost everyone sees it as so “nice”. Even most critics conceive of it as misguided in a fluffy way. It isn’t nice, it is intrinsically anti-human, dismal and vile and it is very hard-edged.

Yet still it is indulged by the mainstream politicians and media. You just wait until the lights start going out because we can’t get base-load from fission and coal. You just wait Porritt because it will be me in the dark alley near your house with the tyre iron. Well, it won’t be much use for a car then will it?

And so the madness starts…

More astute readers may have noticed I have been away for a week. Some may even have cared [/sob].

Anyway, I have been Elsewhere. Specifically the Lake District. Upon the return journey this afternoon (which was thankfully clear) overhead info boards down the M6 and M61 was displaying “helpful advice” for those planning on journeying to see the Sports Day at Boris Johnson Academy (Formerly Ken’s Comprehensive). They advised planning the journey and to leave in good time etc. How thoughtful of the Highways (Robbery) Agency! Indeed I’m sure Londoners who read this have already well laid plans to make an exodus up North or over to the West Country or to Timbuktu or the Faroe Islands or Alpha Centauri via any means possible: trains, planes and automobiles, buses, jet-packs, mini-submarines, pogo-sticks, roller-blades, dog-sleds, gypsy caravans, hot-air balloons, Segways, shanks ponies… I suspect someone will half-inch a Hansom Cab from the London Transport Museum and in true Sherlockian fashion promise the driver a shiny sovereign if he makes Welwyn Garden City by nightfall… It’ll be like the Wacky Races on the M1 and probably more fun than the 10,000m (an event nobody apart from Brendan-frigging-Foster can get excited over).

For myself I shall be watching one event. The men’s 100m final. And that only to see if Usain Bolt manages to violate The Special Theory of Relativity. Well, at GBP 20,000,000 / 62m and considering it’ll all be over within 10s I reckon that my edification from the whole shooting match will work out as only cost about GBP 32/s which I think we can all agree is excellent value for money. Except of course that doesn’t include the opportunity cost of the BBC (what we all pay for) showing this drivel for fifteen hours a day straight for the duration – i.e. anything else they might show.

Bizarrely, we have had a singularly exciting Premiership footie season (that’s the English Premiership – I pity the Scottish football fan*) and there is still life in the season yet!. And no, that isn’t just because I’m a Magpie. Now that all costs us… Well, whatever you want to pay for it! And, anyway it’s cheaper. Ah, Nick but it’s so nastily commercial. I say it’s so wonderfully commercial. I have Sky TV but not Sky Sports. Both my choice. And perhaps more to the point if “amateur” sport is really amateur why is every second TV advert showing very conceivable product as the official whatever of London 2012? And Gideon “The Artless Dodger” Dodger picking all our pockets to pay for the “Greatest Show on EarthTM“? Shouldn’t they pay if they’re getting something out of it? I mean PT Barnum not only didn’t require subsidy but became a very rich man on that schtick.

I really am getting angrier as this gets closer. And I’m not even going to comment on the uneasiness I feel about connecting national pride to individual sporting achievements supported beyond handsomely by a state desperate for national prestige…

*From The Onion a while back- “Police are investigating whether a pound coin thrown onto the pitch during a game at Ibrox was an act of hooliganism or a potential take-over bid”.

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