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Apparently…

…the oceans are dying.

Does this mean we’ll have to eat…ghaaaahg…Soylent Greenies?

5 Comments

  1. Roue le Jour says:

    It’s screwing with the oceans that is screwing the atmosphere. I’ve a computer model that proves it.

    What we need is a massive tax on fish and chips, plus, of course, a big increase in my grant so I can get more cloned Chinese lab assistants, and a bigger lab to put them in.

  2. RAB says:

    I’m not that fond of fish anyway. Pass the steak knives Alice!

    More fuckin hysteria. Look how many times “May, might and could” is used in the article instead of “Is”….

    Acidification? The last article about this “horror” was about how shellfish shells would soften to such a point that they would all die. But when someone actually went and examined the shellfish, they found that the shells were actually thickening!

    And riddle me this…

    Five mass extinctions are mentioned, going back 500 million years. None of which man could have had anything to do with whatsoever . So how’d they fuckin happen? What caused them? Just like all the Ice ages that were nothing to do with us, they just haven’t got a fuckin clue!

  3. Kevin B says:

    Yeah but they had a three day seminar!! Three whole days!!! Full of experts!! Green peas and everybody!! And… (drumroll) And… It’s worse than we thought!!!!11!1!!!!

  4. Bill Sticker says:

    Eat Greenies? Only if they’re fed with apples for three days before slaughter. Otherwise euwww.

  5. Leg-iron says:

    RAB – What caused them?

    Smoking dinosaurs in 4x4s with their eggs in the back. Think of the eggs. Won’t someone theenk of the eeeeggsss…

    Oooo, new idea. I’m off to convince a Greenie or two that tobacco forest fires caused mass extinctions. I mean, those prehistoric smokeplants were Huuuge, man! Whole forests of the evil weed set aflame by a spark from a Raptor’s Reliant Robin with badly set timing.

    Will they believe dinosaurs had cars? Pfft, these people think cavemen had overhead projectors to make those cave drawings. Which is, in a way, at least partly my fault, I suppose.

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