One of those is an ineffably corrupt vote-rigging despot and the other is Robert Mugabe. Unfortunately I couldn’t find the picture (it was on last night’s TV news) of the two side-by-side holding hands like prom dates. Perhaps for the best. If anything would get the CCinZ server to finally cough it’s last bytes and go to Silicon Heaven that image just might.
Fifa’s Sepp Blatter met the Zimbabwe president, Robert Mugabe, for talks on Monday after the head of world football arrived for a two-day visit to a country where the game is mired in a match-fixing controversy.
Talks, talks! I bet it was a jolly old despots knees-up. A bit of comparing notes and chatting about tactics and then a few good old guffaws at what they’d got away with. Admittedly old Septic Bladder hasn’t actually killed anyone (that we know of) but they have more than enough in common for a true meeting of minds to have happened. As to the match-fixing in Zimbabwe? Well colour me utterly stunned. I guess Step Ladder was there to aid Mugabe in making more monies from more rigged matches. Or maybe Mugabe gave Staph Throater the sage advice that if you want a goalkeeper to “accidentally” hurl the ball into the back of his own net threatening to rape his wife, torture his kids and then burn his house down is sometimes more cost-effective than a bribe.
Blatter, who arrived in Harare on a private jet, inspected training facilities that urgently need funding amid Zimbabwe’s troubled economy, and pledged $1m (£620,575) over four years for football schemes in the country. Another $500,000 (£310,300) will be provided to support training under Fifa’s worldwide Goal project.
One might humbly suggest that football facilities are the least of Zimbabwe’s problems. Remember this image…
Yes, in a country of incredible agricultural capacity. A capacity Mugabe has done his level best to systematically destroy through “land-reforms” of the sort that would warm the cockles of Unckie Joe’s cold black heart. But wait! It gets better. Yes, Mugabe has been seizing the land to give to Gaddafi for oil.
The shameless chutzpah of these people is awe-inspiring. The same can be said for the roving hands of Dominique “not exactly James Bond”* Strauss-Kahn and the rhino-hide of our own dear Rebekah Brooks. I don’t know enough about the alleged arm-twisting of the bride-to-be of Prince Albert of Monaco though there are nasty rumours.
But what a rogues gallery they all appear (I suppose you could include Lord Mandelson too) who share nothing as much as a cold-forged titanium self-belief. If you could make shoes out of these people you’d only ever need to buy a single pair for the rest of your life and indeed be able to hand them down to your grandchildren.
*My point there is philandering via the application of wit, charm, style and good-looks is one thing…