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Vote Vampire!

Jonathon (originally John) Albert “The Impaler” Sharkey (born 2 April 1964) is an American actor, director, professional wrestler and perennial candidate who has run in multiple state-level and national elections. He has attracted media coverage due to his unusual public persona as a Luciferian “sanguinary vampyre” and his run-ins with the law. He resides in Florida and has filed to run for President as a Republican in 2012. He has run both as a Republican and on the ticket of his own Vampires, Witches, and Pagans Party.

His legal difficulties involve threatening to personally impale George W Bush.

Sharkey strongly criticized President George W. Bush, whom he described as a “wuss” and a communist who was responsible for the deaths of innocent Americans in Saudi Arabia and Iraq. He has expressed a desire to try, and convict, and impale Bush, and has since stated that “Obama is even worse than Bush, and I never thought anyone could be worse than Bush. He has no idea how to run a country, nor should he be running a country.”

Sharkey says that he will ban abortion and the teaching of evolution in public schools. On other social issues, he leans libertarian; he supports equal rights for gays. He opposes President Obama’s health care reform and would replace it with a plan of his own in which the poor would receive free medical and dental care; the expenses would be paid with government taxes on marijuana and prostitution, which Sharkey supports legalizing and regulating. On foreign policy, he wishes to bring American troops home from foreign war zones.

I guess there is always dear old Ron Paul…


  1. RAB says:

    The Screaming Lord Sutch of America! Every country should have one.

    Looks like he’s a Frank Zappa fan to me too.

  2. Ian B says:

    He appears to be the goth manifestation of Harry Mudd.

  3. JuliaM says:

    I, for one, welcome our new blood-drinking overlords!

  4. Lynne says:

    He can’t hold a black candle to Christopher Lee…

  5. Ian B says:

    He cannot be one of the undead since he has clearly already “dyed”.

  6. Leg-iron says:

    If we’re lucky, Cameron will appoint this guy as the next Archbishop of Canterbury.

    I wonder though, is it just me, or does he seem one of the less mad candidates in this election?

  7. RAB says:

    No it’s not just you Leggy. The spirit of the merry Pranksters still lives on in this dude I think.

    Harry Mudd Ian? The Arthur Daley of Star Trek, Tribbles and troublesome wife fame? I’d almost completely forgotten about him. Yep, dead ringer if you ask me :-)

  8. Lynne says:

    RAB, surely you mean undead ringer?

  9. NickM says:

    Seriously though,

    What about this guy?

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