Whilst the Republicans argue the toss over gay marriage and such and such there is a far bigger threat to American families. And no, to misquote Dolly Parton, it ain’t D.I.V.O.R.C.E but D.E.B.T.
Created by: MBA Online
How the fuck do you run up an overdraft of 14.3 trillion dollars. I am by training an astrophysicist and 1013 is getting to be an astronomical sum. I mean there is only of the order 100 billion stars in the galaxy (OK, probs it’s 400 billion, whatever – I mean what’s a few hundred billion between pals?). Now assume (and this is a big leap) that corresponds to say 100 billion habitable planets and by habitable I don’t mean you or me would like to be there but it’s probably swell for the crab-people of Zarquon-B or whatever. And even sweller when they get their cut because by my rough and ready ‘rithmetic if the USA had taken out it’s loan (secured on what – the entire Mid West?) with the Pan-Galactic Bank Zarquon-B and every other planet in the Galaxy (and it’s a big place) would be owed $143. On some planets that might buy an octopodal life-form a jet-pack.
I mean it’s beyond a joke. I loved the way Douglas Adams characterised the vastness of space and lampooned popular science, “Consider a walnut in Reading and a tangerine in Johannesburg”. If I was in charge of the Fed – God knows. I mean this is verging towards a financial singularity. This is a supreme cluster-fuck of ultra-bollockation. And that’s wearing my astro-economics hat. The only other hat to wear is a silly one whilst playing the kazoo and painting your own buttocks purple with a toothbrush. Well, why not? It is so far beyond fucked it’s out the other end.
And despite the fact that every American – man, woman and child (don’t tell me they’re amortising across foetuses now – I shouldn’t give ’em ideas – glints in a prospective father’s eye, the dead, the great grandchildren your cousin might have…). Anyway every extant ex-utero American owes the UK the charming sum of $1,111. The next time I see an American child I’m having his or her lollypop. Christ almighty! They’re each $475 in hock to the fucking Russians. And those bastards don’t just take lollypops – they take your thumbs. Australia is only owed $39 per American. But I reckon that means the US personally owes Cats roughly $585 which ought to go a long way towards buying a new server. At least that would be monies spent to a porpoise. (Never do anything without a porpoise).
I appreciate we’re not much better in the UK but bejesus and begorrah as my Irish (the US owes the Irish a mere $107 per American) great grandma might have said. I mean this true state of utter fuckedness requires the big canvas to see it in it’s true glory. It’s like Picasso’s Guernica. You need to see the big picture. Not just the postcard.
Sometimes there is just one thing in the room worth discussing. And sometimes it’s so monstrous there is no longer any point. I mean the time to talk about elephantine corralling is when it enters the room and not when it’s on the sofa pouring itself a second whisky and soda and lighting a cigar and asking about nibbles is it? The moment has passed. I have no children. I pity those who do. I hate to type that as I have friends with small children but it’s true. That’s terrible. I mean a torrential downpour on those bright sunlit uplands and all.
We are fucked beyond any form human comprehension apart from astrophysics. That’s more fucked than Charlotte the Harlot when the England Rugby team are in town. It is fucked supreme.
These are the end of days. Get yourself a “technical” with a brace of 50 cals mounted on the flat-bed and a pair of leather chaps (and, perhaps, some trousers) and call yourself “The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla”.