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Run to the Hills Ma Parker, it’s the Feds…

This is a new one on me…

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Counter-terrorism Division and Cyber Crime Division
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC

Dear Beneficiary,

Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary
general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is
obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of
$850,000.00 due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the
fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have
taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which
has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the
receipt of your fund.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and
Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the
current president of Nigeria his Excellency President Good luck Jonathan to
boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other
individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their
Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes. Now how would
you like to receive your payment? Because we have two method of payment
which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will
use to withdraw up to $3,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the
Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 4 years time
which is 2015. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your
funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or
manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Even if you do not have a bank
account.

Check: To be deposited in your bank for it to be cleared within three
working days. Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred
option and would be mailed to you via FedEx. Because we have signed a
contract with FedEx Express which should expire by 30th of January 2012 you
will only need to pay $135 instead of $420 saving you $285 So if you pay
before 30th of January 2012 you save $285 Take note that anyone asking you
for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudsters and
you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have
been in contact with any. Also remember that all you will ever have to
spend is $135.00 nothing more! Nothing less! And we guarantee the receipt
of your fund to be successfully delivered to you within the next 48hours
after the receipt of payment has been confirmed.

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government of
Nigeria, The United Nation and also the FBI and including taxes, custom
paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $135.

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS: The actual fees for
shipping your ATM card is $420 but because FedEx have temporarily
discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is
delivered for international shipping We had to sign contract with them for
bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual fee of $420 to
$135 nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!

To effect the release of your fund valued at $850,000.00 you are advised to
contact our correspondent in Africa the delivery officer Andrew Lamar with
the information below,

Name: Andrew D. Lamar
Email: lamarandrew1@yahoo.cn

You are advised to contact him with the information’s as stated below:

Your full Name..
Your Address:…………..
Home/Cell Phone:…………..
Preferred Payment Method (ATM / Cashier Check)

Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package
is sent within 48 working hours. Because we are so sure of everything we
are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive
payment/package within the next 48hours after you have made the payment for
shipping.

Yours sincerely,

NICHOLAS STORY
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535
TELEPHONE: (206) 309-0312
FAX: (202) 666-5283

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming
to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in
contact with Andrew Lamar of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person
to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you
get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence
investigation.

Right firstly, if anyone owed me $850,000 I think I would have noticed. I once lent a colleague of Nigerian origin some change for the Coke machine at work and he repaid me the next day but then the reason the lad was living in England and not Nigeria was much though he loved many aspects of Nigerian life: food, culture, music etc he could not stand the endemic and epic corruption.

Secondly despite the impressive addresses that head and tail this the email address it is sent from is: test@dztvietnam.com.

Are these people actually trying anymore?

7 Comments

  1. RAB says:

    Shouldn’t that be…

    Nicholas T Story :-)

    Well it’s a step up from the usual crap, and almost properly spelled too!

  2. Tim Newman says:

    Regarding the email addresses, most of our local suppliers here have yahoo and hotmail addresses. These are companies which have supposedly been vetted using our rigorous (stop laughing at the back!) prequalification procedure and confirmed to be genuine, technically competent, and reliable. Alternatively, they have been confirmed as a relative of somebody involved in the vetting. I still refuse to deal with suppliers who only have yahoo or hotmail email addresses, but most of the time the decision is taken in the procurement department and I just have to deal with it.

    In any case, you can spot a Nigerian scam by the efforts to which the scammer goes to put you off falling foul of any other scammers. Like a fruit salesman telling you his rival’s goods are rotten, Nigerians are forever including a warning of you of being ripped off by others in the process of ripping you off themselves. They know each other too well, and know that if you’re silly enough to fall for their scam, chances are somebody will persuade you to hand over the money to him, not the original scammer. One of the most bewildering things about Nigerian corruption is that the perpetrators assume everyone except them are as thick as pigshit. The above email is pretty sophisticated compared to some of the scams I have to deal with in work.

  3. Lynne says:

    How do you know the FBI don’t have an outreach office in Vietnam?

    :D

  4. NickM says:

    Well maybe they do but that would imply the VC didn’t exactly do their job!

  5. nisakiman says:

    I quite look forward to my Nigerian emails, although I don’t seem to get them as often as I once did. I was almost tempted to answer the one from the sender who claimed to be a young, nubile model-cum-princess with an excess of wealth she needed help with to get out of the country.

  6. Michael says:

    I almost miss them, must be the economy tanking. That said, this one is a cracker!
    Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
    Dr. Bakare Tunde
    Astronautics Project Manager
    National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
    Plot 555
    Misau Street
    PMB 437
    Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

    Dear Mr. Sir,

    REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

    I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

    In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

    Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

    Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

    Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

    Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

    Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde
    Astronautics Project Manager
    tip@nasrda.gov.ng

    http://www.nasrda.gov.ng/
    Apologies for the length but it deserved it! All together now… “Ground Control to Major Con!”

  7. NickM says:

    The “Lagos National Savings and Trust Association”. Well, I had shares in the Northern Rock! That was three grand gone south! BTW my Nigerian colleague who couldn’t live with Nigerian corruption was also called Tunde. Anyway you remind me of the Zambian space program.

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