Sucking your wives titties during sex is halal, but if she is lactating swallowing the milk is haram.
• Sheikh Nazim Misbahi, head of the Fatwa Committee of the Islamic Heritage Revival Society in Kuwait, supports the decree, agreeing that “it is not forbidden [haram] for a man to breastfeed from his wife.”
• Sheikh Bassam al-Shatti, a Sharia professor, specifies: “If the husband deliberately sucks to obtain milk from the breast of his wife, this is forbidden; however, if it happens unintentionally during foreplay with his wife, then there is no problem—though it is disliked according to the four schools” of Sharia.
• Sheikh Sa’d al-Anzi stressed that “if the man, while being intimate with his wife, sucks her nipples, it is nothing, considered foreplay; but if the milk reaches his mouth, he should spit out—even if goes down in his stomach,” i.e., vomit.
Although, if she lets a stranger breast feed that’s ok. He becomes a part of the family.
Back in May 2007, Dr. Izzat Atiya, head of Al Azhar University’s Department of Hadith, issued a fatwa, or Islamic legal decree, saying that female workers should “breastfeed” their male co-workers in order to work in each other’s company. According to theBBC:
He said that if a woman fed a male colleague “directly from her breast” at least five times they would establish a family bond and thus be allowed to be alone together at work. “Breast feeding an adult puts an end to the problem of the private meeting, and does not ban marriage,” he ruled. “A woman at work can take off the veil or reveal her hair in front of someone whom she breastfed.”
“Rationaler and rationaler” said Alice.
I recall driving in to work one day not long after starting a job in Qatar, another of these nutjobs was on the radio talking about how it was wrong to beat your wife etc, but that if she got a bit out of hand then a smattering of physical correction was OK. So say the scholars, and I presume Allah & Mo.
These people are fucking whackos.
Well, to be fair, this is the kind of thing you get with any large ruleset. The ulama are doing a religious version of “rules lawyers” in Dungeons And Dragons. You know, it says in table 15A of the DMG that a halbard can’t be used against magical creatures with a Charisma higher than 14…
Long time ago, I had a friend (not Jewish) who worked for a Kosher caterers. One day, a caterpillar was found in a salad by one of the inspector Rabbis. There then resulted a furious row between the Rabbis over whether eating one accidentally was kosher or not, in which the caterers’ position- that they would endeavour to ensure no caterpillars in the salad- was rendered largely irrelevant by the issue of whether God will send you to hell for inadvertently eating the wrong one of His creations.
Thank God I’m an atheist, that’s what I say.
As far as I can remember, you can eat insects that go on all fours with legs above their feet.
So let me see if I’ve got this right…
An ok chat up line to a Hijabed work colleague is…
“Allo Darlin, may I suck your tits? we could become family?”
I thought that was a beheading offence at the very least!
Whacko just doesn’t begin to cover Islam does it? But what can one expect of a “Religion” that micromanages your life down to how, and with which hand, you wipe your arse with.
Does there actually need to be lactation? I mean, does just sucking nipples count?
How long for? Can you just do a token nuzzle, or does it require the full half hour, kind of thing?
Ian, to be perfectly honest, that story sounds to me like arguing for the sake of arguing (I have a few Jewish friends and they all love a good argument [though I'm sure this isn't a universal Jewish trait]), but I wasn’t there so what do I know.
Right RAB, I mean as silly as some of the traditions/customs/rituals of some religions sound to me as an outsider (a feeling which I’m sure is felt by many non-Catholics toward my faith), I can see that they’re at least internally consistent; the rulings by these Imams appear to be flat out contradictory.
Zack,
I know the story because I happened to be round at their flat that evening for a meal and drinkies, and she told it in an infuriating-thing-that-happened-at-work-today kind of a way. My general point really was that this kind of nonsensical rules-lawyering is pretty commonplace; it becomes very problematic as with Cats’s post, when it’s not Dungeons and Dragons but a hegemonic belief system that rules millions of minds, or agents of the government, etc.
OK Ian, I missunderstood the point you were making with the story; in that case I agree.
To comment further on this - isn’t rules lawyering one way that totalitarians keep power? I mean, they have the laws/interpretations change all the time to keep people off balance; if these things aren’t stable, easily understood, then that would mean that the ruleslawyer’s power is enhanced. The more complex/convoluted the rules, the more power they have.
I mean, they have the laws/interpretations change all the time to keep people off balance
Whilst it is not by any means totalitarian, Russia is a bit like this. The rules are so contradictory and subjective - especially tax laws - that everyone is breaking them by default. Therefore, the government can just pick and choose who it prosecutes. The UK and US are heading in a similar direction.
Well, the second bit is fairly standard Shariah. Mo once told someone that for a woman to breastfeed a grown man magically turns him into a sort of kinda son, which then means that the usual restrictions about women and men mixing don’t apply.
I think it is in a strong hadith, rather than being Koranic.
[...] And that explains this. [...]
Does she have to keep her veil on for the first 5 times? After that does the male keep free access to her tits?
Bitty!
I’ve mentioned before, I think, a website called ‘Ask an Imam’ where there’s any amount of ‘advice’ in reponse to umpteen bat-shit-crazy questions.
Take today’s offering: on the front page there’s “Do I need to wash my underpants due to madhi?” The questioner continues:-
“I am 30 years old and newly married person and I live bachelor in Gulf. I have a problem that is throughout the day whenever I use to talk to my wife on phone mazi comes out on to my underwear. Sometimes I feel little wetness around 3-4 drops during call. Because of this it is very hard to read quran and namaz as I can never trust my purity. I have read that Mazi breaks Wudhe only and Mazi breaks Ghusl. But I want to know the following………..” This carries on. And on. And on, as does the reply.
Thank God (!?) I was brough up in the UK where groping, wanking and shagging (oh, and sucking tits) were so much more uncomplicated, and rarely led to pressing problems with my purity.
Anyway, read it yourself, and other lifestyle gems at http://www.askimamorg/
Above website is http://www.askimam.org/
Sorry
Some things just don’t need or want to be asked about Talwin.
I used to have half the population of China on my bedsheets so to speak, when I was 13.
My mum used to say on washing day…
“These are a bit stiff dear, what have you been doing, or maybe I should cut down on the starch ?”
“Yeah cut down on the starch mum and maybe I could do without the Eiderdown, I seem to be sweating a lot at night lately.”
I think his problem is he’s trying to read the quran during his, um, emissions. He might do better with Fiesta, that was the preferred text in my day. Brenda from Dunstable on her brown corduroy sofa in polaroid splendour, you know.