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Rambo V

Sylvester Stallone says, at the age of 65, he is ready to don his jungle gear again and star in Rambo 5.

The actor says he is working on a script that will see the former Vietnam veteran fighting his final battle.

With what? Reality, plausibility, drug lords. Yes, drug lords. He is going to be taking on AstraZeneca and Pfizer in a bid to prevent them rigging the price of prostatitis medication. “Rambo V: Sometimes a Man’s Gotta Pee.” No.

In an interview with MTV, Stallone hinted that the veteran mercenary’s last showdown could take place in Mexico, in a battle against the drug cartels. He claimed Rambo’s “destiny” was “to go out in a blaze of glory”.

Magic. Perosnally, I wouldn’t regard getting involved in that nasty, evil, “little” war as involving glory in the slightest. I suspect the average Mexican would put that statement much more strongly. The US-led War on Drugs is destroying Mexico. Perhaps in some areas it has destroyed society there almost beyond redemption. A while back I considered a post but the subject was too enormous and too dreadful and the solution too obvious to go further. But suffice to say the dead number in the tens of thousands (are Code Pink doing anything?) and the effect on civil society via increased militarism and police corruption are utterly corrosive.

I can think of few better empirical examples of the failure of drug prohibition. I wonder how many conservative NRA members are vehemently anti-drugs? I recall their slogan, “When guns are outlawed only outlaws have guns”. Very true. Works if you substitute “drugs” for “guns” too.

Now that suggests a solution does it not?

But no! Instead of that all it needs is one all American hero with a huge collection of firearms (presumably he’ll have a sort of caddy for those) and a bus pass.


  1. Henry Crun says:

    Is there a more cringeworthy and vomit inducing line than that from Rambo II: “I wish my country would love me as much as I love it”?

  2. John b says:

    Rambo has form in stupid drug-related wars, of course, having backed the Taliban in Rambo III…

  3. NickM says:

    I’d forgotten that john!

    I seem to recall the end credits dedicate the movie to “The noble mujahadeen”. Or some such nonsense. How times change!

  4. c777 says:

    The veins on the neck pose again eh?

  5. RAB says:

    The only Rambo film even vaguely worth watching other than in a cartoon violence shootemup sense, was the first one. Rambo coming home from Nam to be confronted with a country that had been partying on down throughout the 60′s and 70′s, while he’d been putting his life on the line for what he supposed were his countrymen’s freedoms, when they actually couldn’t give a fuck. In fact were actively hostile, calling the Vets murderers, Fascists etc.

    Two friends of mine who were Vietnam Vets got that kind of treatment when they came home. The Vietnam experience fucked them up enough, they didn’t need the extra layer of vilification on top.

    But then even that movie is a fuckin cartoon!

  6. Dzugashvili says:

    In this final screen version Rambo will be wearing diapers for his age-related incontinence. The final scene will see him unzip his trousers whereupon the entire drug cartel will pass out.

    A fitting way for the series to end.

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