I’m going on it next year.
I’m going on with a lesbian Oompa Lumpa who will do the usual song and dance schtick until I shall proceed to beat her to death with a leg from a Queen Anne dining set. The act is to conclude with a full chorus of Rule Britannia!
If that doesn’t knock Simon for six then I am fucked if I know. I mean the howling, pissing and moaning will be something else. And that’s just from me – not the orange dwarf that dies for our pleasure.
I think I might call it “the aristocrats”. Or I shall just stage a wombat gang-rape. Why not?
At least it isn’t another fucking urban dance collective.