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Not even trying…

I got an email today from…

Tori and Pamela and Kathy want to tell you about themselves today, they are single women that belong to a new and sexy adult dating community.

They want to meet guys today that enjoy going out on sexy dates where they can end the night with a good night kiss or a sexual encounter.

These women are not sluts, they are just adults that like to have adult fun.

No, they aren’t sluts because they almost certainly don’t actually exist. They do though want to meet me tonight and despite not being sluts (or even existing – a pre-req for either being a slut or a vestal virgin or even just being you know human – can we please for the love of all non-Catholic Gods please for the love of fuck finally hurl the Madonna/Whore thing away for good?)

Anyway, Tori (is that a name? I mean call me British and all but when I think of Tory women I think of Edwina Curry) likes “69s and reverse cowgirl”. Now call me old-fashioned and that but that is the first thing she says (Kathy likes anal and giving oral in case you are at a loose end this weekend). What I’m trying to say here is that they have given-up trying on the spamulation. OK, I have had sexual relations which involved 69s (even 96s) and all happenstances of cowgirls – come one, come all! But that happened after drinking, dancing, a witty anecdote. I guess what I am saying is if the woman in question blurted out her favoured sexual antics as the first thing to know about her* you’d first insure the rabbit was secure at least.

*In any case isn’t the person more important than the position anyway? I don’t care if it is reverse cowgirl or not if the choice is between Uma Thurman and Cherie Blair. And more to the point aren’t sexual positions of choice something that develops during a relationship? Call me old fashioned and whatever but…


  1. Sam Duncan says:

    Well, I suppose if you had a gun to your head, you’d want reverse anything with the Blair rather than looking at her face. Although I’d certainly give the bullet some serious consideration.

    And I still don’t get that kind of spam. I feel rather left out.

  2. RAB says:

    Given the size of dear Cherie’s mouth, you may very well be staring into the Grand Canyon at t’other end, and hearing echoes coming back.

    So what’s the scam then? How do this fictional ladies with specific sexual tastes get into my wallet rather than my underpants? Nobody is stupid enough to give them a credit card number surely?

  3. Rob F says:

    I knew a ‘Tori’ once…it was short for ‘Victoria’. She preferred it in the same way I prefer ‘Rob’ to ‘Robin’.

    Just thought I’d clear that up…

  4. NickM says:

    Sam, given use Linux pretty much exclusively…

    RAB, I suspect it is the ultimate scatter-gun marketing.

    Rob, Tori short for Victoria is a new one on me. I’ve only met “Vickies”.

  5. “Nobody is stupid enough to give them a credit card number surely?”

    Oh yes they are…

  6. wh00ps says:

    These things are hilarious. Did you see the “what happened when I tried to watch game of thrones ” thing that was doing the rounds? I think James H had it up. The adverts on the bittorrent thing were in the so true it’s funny category.

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