Now there are some contenders here. But this is shocking. It was recorded in 1969 and for fairly obvious reasons didn’t see the light of day until 1980.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you The Shaggs and “That Little Sports Car” from their album (yes, they recorded an entire album of this utter shite) amazingly called, “Philosophy of the World”. Enjoy…
Apparently Frank Zappa called them the “third best band in the World” in an interview with a Norwegian newspaper. He was either bombed out of his box, having a giraffe or trying to do to that Scandinavian nation what Hitler and Quisling failed to. For that is an atrocity beyond any reason. If they had a CD of that at Gitmo they could retire the waterboard. Two minutes of that and I’d admit to starting the Great Fire of London and having been on the Grassy Knoll in ‘63.
Actually this is even worse. That is a crime against humanity.
Two words for you. Prussian Blue. Trust me on this.
No argument from me. But I can see why Zappa would have liked them.
Zappa had a very wicked sense of humour, note he was talking to a Norwegian paper. Anyone heard Norwegian folk music? I have Norwegian friends, they played me some once (but not twice). British blokes in Moleskin trousers and waistcoats with their finger in their ear, Hey nonny noing it, are positive bliss compared to it.
Had the pleasure of seeing the original Mothers of Invention in their full 15 piece line-up. They were amazing. Along with his old schoolfriend and collaborator, Captain Beefheart, Zappa was a complete original. Libertarian too you know!
Quasi-libertarian, RAB. I presume you’ve read his autobiography, right? A good book.
I’ve got a copy of Better Than the Beatles: A Tribute to the Shaggs packed away somewhere. In my defence, a couple of bands I liked at the time had contributed their version of a Shaggs “classic”.
That’s not even the one and only Shaggs tribute. A couple of months back there was a live show and Q&A with the Shaggs themselves.
Zappa may have been taking the piss, but you might be surprised by how many bands list The Shaggs among their favourites. I’m not sure I quite see the appeal myself, but obviously I lack their refined taste.
Actually the Shaggs originally had a bigger line-up but split due to artistic differences before they became mainstream. The other band members went off to form the Shagged If I Knows. They were off busking the Finnish reindeer tipping championships at the time of Zappa’s visit. The rest is history…
I’m going to disagree on this one.
The appalling cacophony that Gary Barlow and Andrew Lloyd-Webber created for the jubilee last weekend must be right at the top of the list. In fact so dreadful was it, that it might have even been improved if Cherrul Cole had been asked to sing on it.
To have to listen to such a piece of shit, not to mention the condescending, grovelling sycophancy of Barlow and Webber as they explained it in simple words, only increases my respect for the Queen. Nobody should have to listen to this shit, but she bears is with such grace.
But was the playing DELIBERATELY bad?
Lordy, come back Flying Lizards, all is forgiven.
Do you know their story, how they came to be playing together? It’s over on Wikipedia.
What Wikipedia leaves out is that they had no exemplars to learn from; their father forbade them listening to pop music. Punk musicians a decade later had something to rebel against. These were making all this up on their own, ab initio.
Yeah, it’s rubbish if you think they’re trying to copy other bands of the day. But they were creating something new, with no reference to contemporaneous pop. They’re originals.
I’ve been a fan of theirs for a few years now.
Laird.
Well Quasi Librtarian has gotta be better than all the rest of the Cocaine lefties in the music biz surely?
Nick wins a cigar here, cos I’m ashamed to say I’d never heard of them, and I’ve seen or definately heard of damn near everyone.
Phillip, as Wiki often says, citation needed for the assertion that Daddy Austin forbade them to listen to pop music. It’s a bloody funny way to fulfil a prophesy of them being a famous band, especially as he’d bought the instuments and given them singing lessons.
He sounded a nasty piece of work to me, just like Daddy Beach Boys, Daddy Osmonds and Daddy Jacksons. But unlike them he lacked the raw material.
From Wiki I see that Lester Bangs had a hand in this, which explains a lot. He championed a shedload of talentless Acid Garage bands around that time.
I always cite local Bristol band of 1977 The Android Pups as the worst I’ve ever seen myself. Their 180 mph version of Puff the Magic Dragon was awesomely awful, and fortunately for you lot, no recordings were made.
RAB -
Phillip, as Wiki often says, citation needed for the assertion that Daddy Austin forbade them to listen to pop music.
Wow, this is synchronicity or something. I first learned heard The Shaggs, including the bit about their dad, on a BBC R4 documentary. So I headed over to the BBC to see what I could see. Turns out the program was first broadcast 10 May 2011. I was sure it was longer ago than that. Hmmm, I guess at my age it becomes something of a blur.
Anyway, it seems the programme was repeated on 6 June 2012 and is still available on Listen Again, but only for another three days.
And yeah, the dad does come off as a nasty piece of work. From memory, as I haven’t bothered to Listen Again, his “forcing the girls to practice” involved locking them in the cellar. Or maybe not. Like I said, it’s all a bit of a blur.
Thanks Phillip, I’ll give that a listen when I get back to Bristol tomorrow. No point doing it at the mo… I’m at my mum’s in Cardiff for the weekend with laptop and dongle, and the bloody buffering interupts would drive me more round the bend than the music.
Ok I’ve listened to it now Phillip, and what can I say? These poor sisters were forced to make “Music ” by their nutter father. Had no feeling for music or understanding of it, and resented every moment of doing it, and packed it in the moment Daddy Faustus dropped dead. Then a bunch of post ironic assholes come along and tell the world they’re brilliant! The fact that they don’t believe a word of all this just proves they managed to come out at the other end of this terrible experience half way sane. They were and are utter rubbish. You could let a troop of baboons into a recording studio and they’d have come up with better stuff than that. Certainly in the rhythm section.
But again the Zappa connection, and I’m sure his tongue was firmly in his cheek, but he was a control freak just like the Shaggs daddy. Every weird note of his stuff was written, and if anyone dared improvise, they were shown the door.
Same as his schoolfriend Beefheart. The band that made Trout Mask Replica were apparently virtually held prisoner in a House in Laurel Canyon by Beefheart. He had groceries delivered once a week, and would push their score pieces under their bedroom doors and instruct them to learn them note for note, or else!
When it came to record the album (at Zappa’s studio) Zappa watched them check in, in the morning then went out for a long lunch. When he got back he said to one of his assistants, er where’s the Beefheart mob? Oh they’ve finished and gone Frank.
Waddia mean finished and gone! it’s a fuckin double album! Well they’ve done it and gone boss, what can I say? Trout Mask Replica is a virtually one take album.
But wait, there is more post-modern Irony to come in the form of “The Shaggs’ Philosophy of the World WITH AUTO-TUNE.
If it worked for Rebecca Blacks Friday…
http://www.none-of-your.biz/the_shaggs.html
Actually forget that - even with Auto Tune it is still an utterly god-awful cacophony of unredeemable shite.
Its a good job that Austin Wiggin is dead, because he certainly deserves the death penalty for that.
Crime against humanity Nick? I’ve heard rocks with better ability to carry a tune.
Ahh well, music crimes are probably the least of our worries.
Hey Nonny Nonny (as RAB nearly said) and we KNOW where that leads…
RAB -
I agree, ‘nutter’ is a about the most appropriate epithet for the dad.
Put in the context of their whole familial situation, it really is pathetic, in the proper sense. It’s hard not to feel sympathy with the girls for what they were forced to put up with.
On the other hand, if I stand back from that and take the tracks (I hesitate to say ‘music’) on their own terms, I find I sort of like it - in very small doses, mind. Like one track at a time. Wasn’t that the whole ethos of punk, throwing off the shackles of out-dated and oppressive ideas such as ‘musicianship’ and ‘talent’?
PST,
It goes both ways sometimes. Consider the Monkees. A completely fake band created for a TV show who decide to be a proper band and knock out some OK stuff.
Wasn’t that the whole ethos of punk, throwing off the shackles of out-dated and oppressive ideas such as ‘musicianship’ and ‘talent’?
No it wasn’t and the smiley tells me you know this too. They were all out of work is all, and bored rigid by the likes of Genesis and King Crimson etc No Future! so they made themselves one, with their own hands. Libertarians without knowing it, as I was back then. I met many of these bands, and some are still friends.
Good documentary here…
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01jmwjd/Punk_Britannia_Punk_19761978/
Nick - I know nothing about popular music, but I did hear an interview with one of the “Shaggs” (now a middle aged lady in New Hampshire) and the lady said that they always disliked their own music.
If a group dislikes their own music - that is a bad sign.
Their father wrote the song - and they played them to please him.
The ladies real musical taste?
Country (as with so many other people in the area now) - which would have been unheard of in the North East when she was young.
Country music has spread from the South and West to the North East over the last several decades.
I make no judgement on the musical merits of Country (I know nothing about that) - but I can spot a cultural change when I see one.
Country music has stopped being a regional thing - and has become the normal musical choice of Amerians. At least of most white Americans.
It is a major cultural change.
.
Paul,
Not liking one’s own music is a sign - not a good one.
As to country… I find it almost impossible to define. It goes from Rhinestone Cowboy drivel to say Johnny Cash. It takes in black music. It is essentially the music of America. It is that huge. Put it this way. Shortly before Elvis Presley died he was heading that way. Or another way. Many country artists are right-wingers and then there are the Dixie Chicks.
But in much the same way you can’t get decent Mexican food on this side of the pond US country was a revelation to me.