We knew it was going to be Naff didn’t we? From the very moment the London bid was successful, we here at CCIZ have been putting the boot into the Glorified School Sports Day that is the London Olympics. From the massive public money overspend, the fact that 90% of the sports wouldn’t exist without sponsorship and subsidy, because no-one would pay to see them without all this goddam fuss, to the Zil lanes, and the clusterfuck transport chaos, right down to the rocket batteries on the roofs of council flats.
But at least we thought we might get the opening ceremony right. After all we are good at Ceremony and Pageant aren’t we? Irrespective of how many medals we win, we Brits can put on a Spectacular better than anyone else on Earth.
Remember the Beijing Olympics 4 years ago? Heh! we would piss all over that eh?
Nope. What we are getting is One Man and His Dog, The Archers on ice, a bucolic vision of our Green and Pleasant land that has either long past or never existed. And boy doesn’t it look like it will move well? Sheep shearing contest anyone, or something more arrestable?
There is going to be Glastonbury Tor down one end of the arena, minus the ruined by earthquake church on top, a worldwide icon that is easily recognised, so why has Danny Boyle substituted an Oak tree instead? Absolutely no idea except it may be a sop to our multi cultural society, Christians being in a distinct minority these days in the good old UK. Don’t want to offend anyone (you know who) do we?
But you know what? I think this is not so much a vision of our Green and Pleasant Past , but a vision of our future, and fairly immediate future at that, when the lights go out in good old England. Danny is being cool and prescient here! This is supposed to be the LONDON Olympics, LONDON the most magnificent wonderful inventive and creative city on the face of the Earth. But maybe he thinks it’s going to have cows and sheep roaming it soon? Oxcarts instead of 4X4s, row me down the river instead of riding a silver bird into the stratosphere and foreign climes.
Well Broadsword to Danny Boyle… Broadsword to Danny Boyle… Stick this utter crap up your arse and give us back the Commission money!