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ZIL lanes in London.

Here’s an interesting point. The Soviet ZIL lanes allowed emergency services such as the fire brigade and ambulances and such to use them. This is not the case for London. Oh, no… There was a bloke on the BBC News who runs a medical products delivery business. He reckons his van drivers won’t be able to deliver. Then there is the boss of the Licensed Cab Drivers Association saying this nonsense is costing his members serious money and there was a florist who was seriously inconvenienced and a plumber just knocking off for the duration…. Great! Really helping the economy that is.


  1. jameshigham says:

    Of course, that depended if it was in town or out of. Out of town, there weren’t even roads.

  2. John Galt says:

    I left the UK on March 23rd for the Far East and won’t be returning until the main games is over and done with.

    I hear that some of the trading firms at Canary Wharf are executing on their contingency options and using their trading backup sites to continue operations while the Oilymipcs [sic] is on.

    I’ll be back on August 23rd after 5 months of glorious sunshine.

    Hopefully in the meantime Londoners will have found their own ‘creative’ ways of expressing dissatisfaction with the Zil lanes. I would go further, but last time (at another place) I was accused of incitement to something or other.

    So just Google ‘Caltrops Zil lanes’ for your own creative suggestions.

  3. JuliaM says:

    Ah, Nick, you’re assuming that ‘helping the economy’ meant florists and plumbers. Heh! Hardly.

  4. RAB says:

    The bloody games have started already. And where have they started? Well the ladies had a bit of a kick about with a football yesterday, in the Millenium Stadium Cardiff, Wales! I thought this was supposed to be the London Olympics?

    Bet the ladies are well pleased their not in London though. The Millenium Stadium is the business!

  5. Not Dick if it helps says:

    Trying to comment but must be getting caught in your filters. Another try.

    You’re right about the cabbies. I have a family member who says he and all his usual rank buddies are taking three weeks off as they’re not happy with having to rip people off for huge fares by sitting in traffic. Not that thay’re allowed to drop anywhere near the Olympics venues anyway!

    Dick Puddlecote

  6. NickM says:

    Depends if it’s a wedding or your bathroom is flooding with sewage really. Of course if you’re happy to have an “austerity wedding” and ignore a stream of shit cascading down the stairs because you are so transfixed by watching the North Korean Ladies stropping off in The Greastest Show On Earth (TM – the BBC et al) then fine. To be fair to the NK’s it was a tremendous cock-up.

    Personally John (you lucky sod BTW!) I think the answer is to add gigantic cocks onto the Olympic balls painted on the roads*. Or (and this sort of thing can be done**) drape that fucking monstrosity outside the stadium – you the one thing that looks like an oil-rig was rogered by Godzilla with a sign saying, “Fuck off Seb!”.

    Anyway I’m off to Rome for free from Manchester airport. Fetch me a small boy!

    *Well the official logo is Lisa Simpson performing an act of Horatio so why not?


  7. NickM says:

    At least they won and that was a belting goal. Brazil’s ladies are looking a bit tasty though (in every sense) and the USA made quite a come-back. So I reckon Hope’s lasses are up against it. Seriously though it staggers me how in maybe 15-20 years women’s football has advanced. I reckon some of the best female teams could stuff John Terry’s mob. I’d love to see it. Shame the stadium was so empty (the BBC put a brave face on it as ever) but that is largely because the ticketing was such a fiasco. I have seen better organisation of a football match at New Mills in the Evo-stick league. Much better. And not of that idiocy ame out of Cardiff. It is a magnificent and well-run stadium – sod Wembley!

  8. Edward Lud says:

    “Fetch me a small boy!”

    Not a phrase, Nick, you want overheard out of context…

  9. Tim Newman says:

    I left the UK on March 23rd for the Far East and won’t be returning until the main games is over and done with.

    Phuket, perchance?

  10. Sam Duncan says:

    Indeed, RAB. You may hear something on the news about the North Korean ladies’ football team accidentally playing under the South Korean flag. That was at Hampden.

    But I heard the best Olympic story yet last night: the Gymnastics and Basketball will be taking place at something called the “North Greenwich Arena”. That’s the O2 to you and me. They can’t call it by… well, its name, because O2 isn’t the Official Mobile Telecommunications Provider of the Games. But why not “the Millenium Dome”? Too much baggage for a state boondoggle, maybe?

  11. NickM says:

    I can beat that into a cocked-hat. More later…

  12. John Galt says:

    @Tim Newman:

    Sorry, not Phuket – not a big fan of Thailand.

    The food is better and the people nicer in Malaysia – plus for the far from home Western European expat, they have some fantastic hypermarkets out here that sell everything from decent fruit and veg to reasonably priced ovens (since I have an apartment out here). All run by a firm called Tesco, really good stuff, wish we could have this back home, well the prices anyway.

    Just indulging in some Durian, which is a rather delicious if smelly experience and watching the Oilympic [sic] clock on the Telegraph website tick down to zero.

    Hoping some of the chavs are going to come into their own and give our IOC elite in their chauffeur driven limousines a taste of ‘real’ Britain.

    Predicting that anyone trying to get to work in Canary Wharf is going to have a rather unpleasant time for the next few weeks – my heart genuinely does bleed at your suffering.

    “Waiter! Another jug of Mai Tai and freshen up the olives please.”

    Life is hard…

  13. RAB says:

    And where are they holding the Shooting events? The Royal Artillery Barracks! Can’t wait for the 175mm Field Gun competition then… Oh wait, the shooting’s confined to rifles, shotguns (that’ll be Skeet ) and handguns, er those weapons that our team has to train abroad with cos they can’t do it legally here anymore, well except for our noble Police Swat squads (I wonder how close they can stand to their targets? Ask Mr Menezes relatives I suppose) I don’t expect a big haul of medals from these events, do you?

    Besides, there’s a purpose built state of the art facility just outside London called Bisley, I’ve shot there myself. My the fuck arn’t we using it?

    The bastards who’ve extracted the cash from each and every one of us for years to come keep banging on about “Legacy” the only bloody legacy will be the same decaying white elephants that every other Olympic Games has generated.

    McDonald’s the inventor of the chip, has built the biggest restaurant in the world for these games. Do you know what they are going to do with it when the games finish? Bulldoze it. That tells you something doesn’t it? No business taxes, no upkeep costs, just up and down and exit stage left. How much do they think they are going to make out of their Sponsorship I wonder? Shedloads is the answer.

  14. Lynne says:

    What does ZIL stand for anyway? Zero Intelligence Level?

  15. microdave says:

    “I think the answer is to add gigantic cocks onto the Olympic balls painted on the roads”

    How’s this for starters?
    Dig a few more holes before the tarmac gang comes along, and you would be laughing!

  16. John Galt says:


    ZiL (Zavod imeni Likhachova) were the manufacturers of the auto-mobiles used for carrying senior Soviet officials (members of the politburo, etc.) about during the Soviet Communist era.

    ZiL lanes were special lanes on the main routes in and out of Moscow which were restricted to the use of official government and emergency vehicles. Since the majority of the traffic were government registered ZiL limousines, they became referred to as ZiL lanes.

    At least the members of the politburo took certain risks to obtain their positions, unlike our gilded Olympic elite from the IOC and their associated window lickers.

  17. John Galt says:

    It would appear that the ZiL Lanes can (theoretically) be used by b

    Can cyclists use them?
    Officially, yes. However, a spokesman said that as 95 per cent of lanes are on the offside of the road, cyclists would not be riding there anyway. The other 5 per cent of roads are on the nearside and would be more attractive to cyclists.

    Maybe it is time for the cyclists from Critical Mass to have a go at reclaiming the streets from our ZiL overlords.

  18. RAB says:

    Who knew that 2012 was a documentary not a satire eh?

    God love us! they are actually holding sports in Camera now!!!

    What is the fuckin point of having sports you are not allowed to see??

    Can this lunatic lash up get any worse? Oh you betcha! Wait for the One Man and his Dog opening ceremony, and Glastonbury Tor with a tree instead of a Tower on it.

  19. John Galt says:

    As predicted by me (with no insider knowledge) from the other side of the world – I declare Critical Mass to be the winner of the “First Protest Against the Zil lanes” award.

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