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Morrissey officially even more of a twat.

Senior officials from the Royal Society of Twatology have now confirmed that Morrissey has now turned his personal twatometer to 11. It’s now 1 twattier.

Singer Morrissey has attacked the “blustering jingoism” of the London 2012 Olympics, asking: “Has England ever been quite so foul with patriotism?”

Not long since Mozza was draping himself in the flag and speaking from the BNP playbook. But then this is a man who at various times has been known to be gay, straight, bisexual, mysterious and asexual. Or what can technically be called a profound wanker.

The singer claimed the Royal Family have “hijacked” the Games and said “the spirit of 1939 Germany now pervades throughout media-brand Britain”.

Am I the only one who suspects he means 1936 Germany and Mozza don’t know his history? And he isn’t a media brand? This somebody who once said of themself, “Artists aren’t really people. And I’m actually 40 per cent papier mache”.Then there is this peach…

“The ‘dazzling royals’ have, quite naturally, hi-jacked the Olympics for their own empirical needs, and no oppositional voice is allowed in the free press. It is lethal to witness.”

Well, I saw William, Kate and Harry at the gee-gees but then their cousin was in it. Furthermore does Mozza actually know what “empirical” means or indeed the meaning of the term “free press”? I suspect he means a press that agrees with whatever Mozza says, whenever he says it and he is a weathercock in a hurricane.

“As London is suddenly promoted as a super-wealth brand, the England outside London shivers beneath cutbacks, tight circumstances and economic disasters. Meanwhile the British media present 24-hour coverage of the ‘dazzling royals’, laughing as they lavishly spend, as if such coverage is certain to make British society feel fully whole.”

Oh, do piss off! You can’t move round my gaff in Cheshire for sodding Range Rovers and there are parts of London where folk are poor as church mice. But also note at the end Mozza mentions the Volk und Land card. Interesting given his previous. And when was the last time he’d been back to Salford from LA? It is much improved.

“In 2012, the British public is evidently assumed to be undersized pigmies, scarcely able to formulate thought.”

As opposed to those super-sized pigmies? And as to an “inability to formulate thought”. Coming from Mozza that is epic!

He went on: “As I recently drove through Greece I noticed repeated graffiti seemingly everywhere on every available wall. In large blue letters it said WAKE UP WAKE UP.

“It could almost have been written with the British public in mind, because although the spirit of 1939 Germany now pervades throughout media-brand Britain, the 2013 grotesque inevitability of Lord and Lady Beckham (with Sir Jamie Horrible close at heel) is, believe me, a fate worse than life. WAKE UP WAKE UP.”

That sounds like the rantings of someone (justifiably) in five point restraints. And who the fuck is “Sir Jamie Horrible”? Who?

Morrissey, who famously draped himself in the Union flag during a 1992 concert in Finsbury Park, has made several bids for attention this year by making public pronouncements which he hoped would prove controversial.

Because he is flying on vapour. There is nothing left in the tank other than deliberate contrariness. There was never much in the tank after he pissed off Johnny Marr. The Smiths were big (I never really liked ‘em) but Mozza’s solo career…

He told an Argentinian audience that the Falkland Islands had been stolen from them, and later dressed his band in “We Hate William and Kate” T-shirts.

No we didn’t. The Falklands were basically not occupied until us Brits pitched-up and Argentina didn’t exactly exist as a country then. And who did they steal that from anyway? Argentina by the way is one of the few nations Mozza still sells records in.

In his website address, Morrissey said he had enjoyed the most successful year of his touring life.

“The incredible audience reactions in Istanbul, Athens and Tel-Aviv have left me insensible, and were completely at odds with the common belief that the world of music is now dumb and sterile,” he said.

He really is a pompous bugger. Since he lost The Smiths his own music has been “dumb and sterile”. I would also argue Mozza has been insensible for much longer than that…

“Thank you to the city of Tel-Aviv for granting me the Keys to their city. I just might die with a smile on my face, after all.”

Tel-Aviv what were you thinking of? Morrissey is truly the one twat to twat them all. I have rarely read such guff in me puff. Just put it like this, he’s some bloke who used to be famous two decades ago and is desperately saying anything (as he has been for like twenty years) to get the attention he clearly craves. I note at no point did he mention in his rant contra the games the cost. That’s my objection. I mentioned his eternally (self confessed and always some point being made of it – like anyone cared) sexuality but let’s face it Mozza’s true sexuality is sheer narcissism. He is in very serious danger of disappearing up his own arse. Not that any would care. Indeed many would argue Mozza has now been exploring his own rectumnal zone for decades.

The whole thing is from here and you can read more of the wit and wisdom of Mozza here.

It is appalling twattery mind. Be warned.

9 Comments

  1. john b says:

    I have a grudging admiration for the old bastard’s trolling skills. Simultaneously slating Team GB, demanding we deliver the Falklanders to total strangers on the grounds that they’re nearby, and praising Israel for being amazing, is a combination guaranteed to piss off literally everyone I can think of on at least one count.

    He means the fat-tongued chef, by the way.

  2. RAB says:

    Mozza seems the sort of fella to visit certain chat rooms for the Hard of Understanding.

    One of my swivel eyed friends signed me up to one called the Think Tank on Facebook, which despite its name appears to be populated by folk who are still stuggling with the concept of tieing shoelaces, and who seriously believe that the Queen and the Pope are running the world. On the rare occasion I have visited and left a comment, I am instantly accused of being from the CIA.

    Someone should take Mozza down the Vets and put him out of his misery. It’s the only humane thing to do.

  3. JuliaM says:

    Ignoring him would be far worse punishment. I’d be interested to see if he went completely David Icke as a result and started ranting about lizards and Satanism…

  4. Sam Duncan says:

    I was going to post about this myself, but I’m glad I waited. Epic fisking. For a moment, when I saw the headline on, I think, Sky News, by the way they put it I thought he’d actually got something right for a change. Shoulda’ known.

    That’s not quite true about the Falklands. They were occupied, although not much. That’s really what caused the bother: those who were there were fishermen who got into a dispute with the Yanks over fishing rights, and Argentina’s own governor asked Britain to come to his aid because Buenos Aires were being twats about it. (Nothing changes.) Although the guy, who was on the mainland at the time trying to give the Argie government a kick up the backside, never returned to the islands, no new governor was ever appointed by B-A (largely because the bloke who invited us in owned all the land) and nothing was done to reclaim them until 1982. It isn’t hard to come to the conclusion that they seceded.

  5. Lynne says:

    I see Care in the Community has fucked up – again!

  6. Paul says:

    Aye, pretty miserable and negative from the dowdy Manc. Bob Geldoff was also negative about the games in the run up too, talking about naphness. Which is his strong point after all. It’s a twat trap… xxx

  7. croissant says:

    you’re a fucking idiot for disagreeing so vehemently with a smart man’s opinions

  8. John Galt says:

    @Croissant:

    As Lynne said “I see Care in the Community has fucked up – again!” :-)

  9. Bummer Jenkins says:

    Lum dum dum di do lum ah

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