Counting Cats in Zanzibar Rotating Header Image

Judicial Fuckwit of the Week…

Well in view of some of our current posts, and baring in mind that our good friend Julia M would fisk it better, I am sufficiently outraged by this highly paid dripping Wet moron, to have ago myself…

“He told Teesside Crown Court yesterday: ‘It takes a huge amount of courage as far as I can see for somebody to burgle somebody’s house. I wouldn’t have the nerve.”

No your Honour, you wouldn’t,but if you did you wouldn’t have a job either would you? In fact I seriously wonder if you are fit for the one you hold now. Pleas of Mitigation should be left to the Defence Council, don’t you think? however fatuous, not the fuckin Judge!

Courage? what in the current climate? you’re havin a Giraffe! It’s a walk in the Park my old Judicial nonce. If the situation that pertains in America, as has been well investigated in SAOT’s earlier post, existed here, then it would be an act of courage ( blind stupidity more like. “Do I love other people’s stuff more than my life? Doh!). But as most burglary in the UK is an opportunist crime carried out solo and reliant on the householder’s own laxity over security, and usually carries years worth of criminality and getting away with it behind, and when they eventually get caught cough up for a string of TIC’s often into triple figures, then “Courage” is hardly the appropriate word for it, is it your Fuckwittedness?

‘Yet somehow, bolstered by drugs and desperation, you were prepared to do that,’ he told Rochford, 26.”

Get off the bench and over to the Dock and High Five the fucker why doncha?!!

He also said Rochford had been damaged by prison and added: ‘I think prison very rarely does anybody any good. It mostly leaves people the chance to change their own mind if they want to.

‘I don’t think anybody would benefit from sending you to prison today. We’d all just feel a bit easier that a burglar had been taken off the streets.’

Yes Judge, we would all feel better if a burglar, especially such a prolific one, had been taken off the streets. I think, if you look in the small print… That is your fuckin Job!

Rochford burgled three homes in East Cleveland and tried to burgle another in the space of five days.

Serial burglar Richard Rochford

Court: Richard Rochford was facing a term of two-and-a-half years when the judge decided against custody

He took a laptop, a satnav, money and car keys along with jewellery and a handbag amongst other items.

Judge Bowers said he deserved to be jailed for two-and-a-half years, and anything less would not satisfy the public.

Yep Judge, that’s what we poor victims of others “misfortunes” damn well expect alright!

“Judge Bowers acknowledged that the victims would have suffered as a result of the crimes, adding: ‘For months and months and sometimes years, they never recover.’

That’s right Judge, some of them never recover. Many victims of Burglary have to move home because their personal space has been so sullied that they feel it is akin to Rape. They feel that they have been soiled and never ever feel secure again in what they are entitled to believe is their sovereign territory, which they may have lived in all their lives.

Arse shiners and rose tinted gazers like you, and too many others on the Bench of our Crown Courts, think that a burglary is just about “stuff”. Stuff that can be replaced on the Insurance. No harm done, except for the inconvenience. No big deal. Well it is a big deal you asshole!

This amoral little twat will be up before you very soon your dimwittedness, mark my words, or perhaps one of your colleagues, who will be just as forgiving with other peoples emotions, property , security, self respect and well-being.

How do we get to fire fuckwits like you?


  1. Mr Ed says:

    One judge in the 1990s in the Midlands was less indulgent, especially after his elderly mother was burgled.

    The jury should determine sentence. Add up total no. of years jury recommends and divide by 12. Serve in full, in Belarus.

  2. Edward Lud says:

    A, um, unusual decision.

  3. dcardno says:

    I take notice that Judge Bowers didn’t offer to have young Rochford stay in Bowers’ basement for the next couple of months – just because that would be way better than jailing the little twerp, right?

  4. JuliaM says:

    I refer you to yesterday’s discussion on self-defence and the example of Earl Jones from Boone County, Kentucky. Now, there’s a place where you need courage to be a burglar!

    If there are indeed any left in that county.. :)

  5. NickM says:

    “Stuff” is the point RAB. This scrote’s haul included a laptop (personal – it might have someone’s piccies on it and they are presumably gone forever) and jewellery which is intrinsically deeply personal. So yes the violation is real and not just monetary. My grandparents really never quite got over an attempted burglary. And along much the same lines twice (at least) my wife has had some scrote steal her bra from the washing line. Now if that ain’t personal I’m buggered if I know what is. Never her knickers mind. But therein lies the rub. If it is a matching bra and knickers set and the bra is half-inched then you are doubly buggered. And this is one of my fundamental points about theft. Almost invariably the thing stolen is more valuable to the owner than the thief. Theft (at least partly by as you point out by it’s optunistic nature) is a destroyer of the value of goods. In the case of a laptop what value are pictures of your children? What value are pictures of someone random’s children? What value is a bra? Something fitted in two measurements. What odds are there it will fit the perp or his vile female. And yes accepting a bra as a gift from your tea-leaf boyf is low enough for the term “vile” to be used.

  6. Lynne says:

    I’s be impressed if the scrote found the courage to fuck off and get a job instead of grabbing the taxpayers shilling. That goes double for the bastard burglar too.

  7. MickC says:

    A shitstorm of complaints about this idiot judge’s comments to the Office for Judicial Complaints will undoubtedly do his career the world of good!

    The one thing our rulers do NOT like is the peasants disturbing their peace and tranquillity. It may not do much good, but other fools on the bench will take notice-and mind their manners in the future. The principle of “pour encourager les autres” has some uses.

  8. jameshigham says:

    Surreal, bizarre. Head shaking uncontrollably.

  9. NickM says:

    C’mon RAB,

    He’s on a community sentence. He’ll be up before the beak a week next Tuesday.

  10. RAB says:


    Even our potato faced leader is in on the act of condemning this twat. Retirement looms I feel, and not before time (for both of them :-) )

    Not all our Judges are completely fuckwitted though. Anecdote anyone?

    I went to a Grammar school and did English Lit, Economics and History for A level. I have loved History ever since I can remember and was good at it. My favorite teacher and a bit of a mentor, however dropped dead of a heart attack when I was in the lower Sixth. Bit of a pisser that!

    His replacement was a young man fresh out of University, keen as mustard and a bloody good teacher to boot. Being only about ten years older than us, we took to him instantly and did the best we could to reward his efforts in teaching us. Our A level History class all passed with very good grades and went on the University. Our teacher’s name was Peter Jacobs.

    In the Upper Sixth, our school finally went Comprehensive. It had been in the pipeline for years, and we had had no influx of 11 year olds for several years as Govt and Local Council worked out the details. Well as usual, they cocked it up and found they had a chronic shortage of teachers, so us Sixth Formers were drafted in to take lessons. It was a holding operation not proper teaching, but as I have said before about this, the first four 11 year olds I selected to read a passage from a book in an English lesson, effectively couldn’t read to Janet and John level even, now they were expected to take upwards of 15 academic subjects including sciences and foreign languages and they couldn’t fuckin read their own! These kids are totally screwed I thought to myself. What the hell had happened to Junior School teaching in the seven short years since I took my 11 plus? But this wasn’t my problem, I was off to Nottingham to do Law.

    The next time I met my History teacher, Peter Jacobs, was on a train from Cardiff to Bristol to take my Law Society Part 2 exams. It transpired that in the five years or so after I had left Cathays he had left also, and turned his back on teaching altogether, passed his Bar exams and was now a Barrister. Like me he saw the immediate drop in standards practically drop off a cliff with the coming of Comprehensive, and wasn’t prepared to bang his head against a brick wall for the rest of his life.

    He is now a Crown Court Judge in Norwich. He may know what Community Service Orders, and Suspended Sentences are, but he is very loath to use them. He believes that a spot of imprisonment concentrates the criminally inclined mind’s, and gives blessed relief from their actions to us law abiding citizens.

    He occasionally hits the Tabloids with his robust and witty judgements.

    A few years ago a burglar came up before him who had been caught having it away with a neighbours telly by the simple expedient of Plod following the footprints in the snow from the broken window, over several garden walls and to the back door of the defendant. I approximate his words in summing up…

    “Well this is a sad occurence isn’t it (deft x)? I am of a mind to give you a period of time to reflect upon your anti social actions. So I am sentencing you to six months imprisonment so you may further contemplate and ponder your future career opportunities. For it must be obvious even to you that you are completely unsuited to a career in crime. In fact you are utter crap at it”

    Bloody good teacher and even better Judge!

  11. Paul Marks says:

    The establishment is rotten to the core – Guardian “Social Justice” types.

    The only unusual thing about this judge is that he is open about it.

  12. Matt says:

    Defence Council,

    Defence counsel

  13. RAB says:

    Matt, I can hardly believe you bothered to post that. Do you have a site I can come round and correct the spelin at? Got anything interesting on the topic to say? We bang ‘em out fast and furious round here sunshine, and the grammar sometimes goes awry or becomes so surreal that it is Shakespearian in its scatalogical magnificence. Some of us are dyslexic ( I have often wondered why they gave a name that is so hard to spell, to not being able to spell, haven’t you?). But not me though. I’m just in a rush most of the time… Sheesh!

  14. Edward Lud says:

    I enjoyed your anecdote, RAB, but feel I ought to pointout that six months’ porridge or chokey is in reality worth maybe four weeks. Not three months, even, but maybe four weeks.

  15. Matt says:

    Once I met a man in Norway, a Brazilian, who told me he had learned English by reading a stack of old Reader’s Digests and listening to the BBC World Service. I’ve been button-holed by people keen to polish their English by conversation in so many places I’ve lost count.
    There is a massive desire in the world to learn English. We who use it normally have a responsibility to use it as well as we can, because we can never know who may read our stuff to try to learn.
    If that sounds pompous it will be because it is.

  16. RAB says:

    Glad you enjoyed the anecdote Edward, and sigh… yes I know only too well, with my long relationship with the Courts of this Land, what 6 months actually translates into in terms of time served.

    But hey, it is some time getting aquainted with the slopping out bucket and dropped soap in the showers, isn’t it? Better than the smirking arsehole walking straight out the door and high fiving it with his mates in the nearest pub. Joking what a daft old tosser the judge was eh? And you have no idea how often I’ve seen that scene; often enough to make me sick and weary, and resign from the old LCO.

    Matt, yes good grammar matters, but don’t get pedantic about it. English is an organic language with the biggest vocabulary of any language in the world. I found when I was in Southern India and Sri Lanka that the people there spoke it better than I do. But it does and has to evolve. All languages should.

    France is particularly sensitive about their language. They have entire Insitutions to protect it from such things as “Le Hamburger” Do you know how many French actually spoke what is now considered “proper” French at the time of the Revolution? 11%. The year zero revolutionaries were sick as a pig about it, so they did their damndest to impose “Parisian” French on the whole country (much like Tuscan Italian was imposed on all of Italy). In both cases it still hasn’t worked.

  17. Matt says:

    Sir -thank you for your thoughtful reply. I do agree that English should and will evolve. As it spreads round the world more and more it will gather new words or old words will get new meanings. Good. But this is not the same as slip shod sloppy or incorrect usage. Council/counsel is not a typo it is just wrong.

    And what about dialect and accent damaging the language. I’ve always thought that standard French is simply chav accepted as normal. The equivalent of “war’er” and “see you lay’er” becoming the norm in the UK.

    How will it help a student of English when faced with “war’er”, or “See you lay’er”.
    Americans are already spelling their mispronunciations. I saw “missel shield” the other day. And I even saw someone struggle with “anardigger” (Very cold there by the way). A looming nightmare for students. The English language won’t be the language of the world if every country speaks its own pidgin version.
    Fascinating ain’t it ? A rich vein of humour and chuckles.
    Enough I think. Regards. And thanks for a darn good blog.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: