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The EU Flying Prize…

I know this has been done to death here (cracking post from RAB!) and elsewhere but it needs to be said or re-iterated at least. I was born in England in 1973 (the year the UK, the Irish Republic and Denmark joined the club) and I have subsequently been to (in no particular order) France, Spain, Belgium (briefly), Holland, Germany, Yugoslavia (as was – twice!), Hungary, Czechoslovakia (and subsequently the Czech Republic), Poland, The Irish Republic, Portugal, Hungary, Austria (very briefly), Greece, Malta and indeed Turkey. Some of the above several times. Many of the above I shall happily re-visit. There is a picture (I really have to sort my piccies out) of me hugging a statue of a bull over the Asian side of Istanbul and no I wasn’t pissed at all. I was just thinking cool! Another continent bites the dust.

You think that artificial? Of course it is! The East side of the Bosphorus is no more or less culturally European than Porto. Being European is a state of mind. It has nothing to do with (often nominal) religion either. An odd thing about Istanbul is that it has maintained into this century the habit of having streets of x,y or z. Just down from the Europa bull is the street of wedding dresses. And by wedding dresses I mean things Jordan would regard as OTT.

I mean Katie Price not the near-East country.

I have met gits on three continents. Mainly I have met decent people. I have met many of both in my own country. I have met many of both in Europe or the USA and many in my “toe in the water” trip to Asia. I even met some recently in Paris! I have met gits of course but for good or ill they seem to be fairly evenly distributed. In a deluge in Istanbul I slipped and fell awkwardly on subway steps. A Turkish businessman in a nice suit helped right me and asked if I was OK (I was – I only fell awkwardly to protect my camera bag). He spoke perfect English. He was very nice. I know “nice” sounds like damning with faint praise but it was nice. On the far side of this continent people were just the same.

Well, almost. I found the Turks to be polite and helpful. Sometimes witty (hard to gauge sometimes given the language gap) but be aware the restaurant barkers are tiresome.

We can all get on. I like (some) French wine, Czech cars, Polish vodka, Scottish salmon (not the Alex version), Italian cheese, Finnish software, women from everywhere (as long as they are smart, funny and good-looking), German ham, Belgian beer, Spanish tiling, Swedish crime stories, English novels…

We build airliners that are duralumin overcasts because we have engineers, not politicians. Have you flown on an Airbus? Probably. The wings are designed in Bristol and made in Wales. Final assembly is Toulouse. Whatever! OK, the last two ‘planes I was on were Brazilian but that is not the point is it? I’ve flown on a fair few Embraers and they always got me back (good on you Brazil!). So are all the rest I have flown on. If the ground traffic was bad it has taken me longer than the one hour fly time from Paris to Manchester to get from my outskirts to Manchester Town Hall.

This they don’t get it. We can fly, we can twitter, we can Skype… All this has nothing to do with the EU.

In the 1960s my Gran phoned her sister who had emigrated to Melbourne. My Gran didn’t have a phone. She used a local grocer’s shop she had an a/c with. A twenty minute call cost nearly a week’s wages. She hid the bill.

We have created a global society not because of politics but in spite of it.

I am writing this near Manchester. The latest kitty in the count is Julie (near Chicago – spot on virgin post Julie btw!) and the server is in Queensland, Oz. Did legislation and politics make it possible for us to all run and play? Did it hell! I am typing this on a Lenovo laptop. This was made and designed in China but that’s because Lenovo bought up IBM’s brand for laptops and it has USA DNA so to speak. It runs Windows 7 for a start.

And that is the point. The EU (and more broadly) is an exercise in stealing our intrinsic internationalism and then parceling it back as a “gift”. If you, as I do, read late Victorian/Edwardian stories then the World was at least as globalized as it is now. Seriously. Read the Holmes canon if you doubt me. We don’t need a superstructure in Brussels to give us back (and we must thank them for it) rights we always had. They took those rights and are now parceling them back and expect us to be grateful for giving us a semblance of what we had a century ago! They call it progress. I call it graft.

No, I don’t exactly. There is graft obviously but it is more than that. It is about the political class making itself important whereas in a rational World none of this is needed. We are not a nursery school. We don’t need an authority figure to make us “play nice”. We certainly don’t need this to be self-imposed with the tacit concept that if we don’t have nanny we will automatically be at each other’s throats. The EU is many things. Ultimately it is patronising. We don’t need looking after and we really don’t need the aggression of the EU because the same political class (note I don’t say working class, middle class or upper class but -political class) building barriers only to partially tear them down and then claim credit for it. The EUrocrats are the sort of people who will piss on your rug and then want a lollypop for cleaning half of it.

Europe is united at the the most fundamental level. This is bottom-up*. Officialdom never helps. It hinders and when it “tries to help” it requires praise and a gold star sticker on the infant school merit board. This is toxic. This is politics – making out they are heroes for granting rights you had anyway if not for politics taking it away and then drip-feeding you such rights back (or not). When I lived in Stepney, East London, we’d go to the Globe pub and round the table would be Brits and Americans, and French and Italians and Germans and all the rest. We’d do the pub quiz**.

We don’t need nanny to get on. We need ourselves. Just that. And we need cheap flights. The sort of things that the EU goes berserk over in terms of CO2 and stuff. They like trains instead. Trains. Fucking trains. Like Orv and Will bust their humps to go by fucking train.

Jebus wept!

We are not united by politics. We are united by cheap ‘planes that our EU Lords hate. Have you ever wondered about the concept of a geographical super-state in a non-geographical age? I have. They haven’t. They are playing the C21st with C19st pieces.

And if I had a single Euro for every time I have been accused of being anti-European (I am European for God’s sake!) for speaking out against the EU or the single currency despite loving Europe I’d be able to bail-out Greece. Well, for a week at least. If I were Angie I’d tell the hairy-backed fuckers to fuck off***.

So, I shared a joke about a bottom with a Frenchman. Is that not what it should really be about? If the powers that be realized just how similar we then they would melt like the Wicked Witch.

We need each other. Well, we are best with each other. We don’t need them telling us that. We don’t need them to “make it so”. We need shared laughter in a bar in Paris over a bared bottom. That sort of thing does more for genuine European integration than any quantity of expense account genuflecting from Brussels or Strasbourg.

And of course the sort of cheap flights the EU hates. Here “integration” and “environment” lock horns. Here I speak truth.

*Literally. I was in a bar in a student area of Paris recently (Thanks MHG!) and there was a birthday going on. Several students were somewhat Brahms et Liszt. One had forgotten to wear a belt and his trousers had slipped somewhat. My wife did a “pull-down gesture” and one of his mates yanked his underwear down revealing bare bottom. Generalised hilarity ensued. A bit later I got chatting with one of the lads outside whilst we were having a fag. He said, “You liked my mate’s bum?” I said, “Très bien!” and we chortled.

**I particularly recall one event because we were all bamboozled by a single question. “What was the first London Underground station to open?” That made very little sense to us all because a railway with one station makes no sense.

***The Greek male national sport would appear to be sexual harassment. They are largely right mummies boys you see. I was in this street in Athens once and I’m asking directions and this git (see above about gits – partially) starts fondling my girlfriend’s buttocks. I should have lamped the hairy backed troglodyte (he seriously didn’t look like a Spartan from 300). I didn’t because it was so off kilter I scarcely believed myself. Oddly enough the nicest town I saw in Greece was Sparta. Had a bloody good kebab served by a Greek-American who was back to the old country to help his uncle out. Jolly decent sort. Much can be done with a Greek if you catch them early enough.


  1. John Galt says:

    The Nobel Peace prize should have been awarded to Michael O’Leary & Sir Stelios Haji-Ioannou as Ryanair and EasyJet have done more to unify Europe and promote peace and harmony than the EU ever did.

  2. Lynne says:

    It really pisses me off when people can’t understand that Europe and the EU are NOT the same thing.

    Nick, what you said can’t be said often enough. Say it as often as you like. Maybe the message will finally sink in.

  3. NickM says:

    Seconded. Am currently watching “Pale Rider” and Clint has a nice piece of hickory…

    And he has just twatted some ruffians. Royally. Epic.

  4. RAB says:

    Thanks for the kind words Nick. You obviously had a good time in Paris…

    And yes let’s say it long and loud… We, the People of Europe, are not the problem, the swivel eyed Empire building politicians of The United States of Europe are.

    I had two French aunts (deceased now) and have bilingual cousins, so French is the only foreign language I can just about hold a conversation in. The French are supposed to be a snotty aloof bunch who won’t speak English even if they know how. Well that’s not how I find them.

    We were in a supermarket in Airvault buying bits and pieces, wine and cheese naturally, and we fancied a bit of bacon. Well I know Cochon is pig and Jambon is ham, but I don’t have the specific for bacon. We were trying to communicate with the counter assistant but to little avail and there was a little middle aged French lady listening to us. Her English was halting at best, but she was trying to help and understand. Well we eventually gave up after trying all the mime we could muster, thanked her for her trouble and went in search of the bacon on our own ( it was a big supermarket). Ten minutes later the same Frenchwoman came up to us carrying a packet of bacon and plopped it in our hands ( it was bloody tasty too!) she had gone to all that trouble just for us. Now that’s people power!

    Again later in the week, we were driving into La Rochelle wanting to see the historic Medieval Lighthouse and the old Harbour etc but had no idea where we actually were. We’d stopped at a corner and the wife and I were talking between ourselves trying to figure out where we were supposed to go next, when this French gent popped his head through my open window and said in perfect English…

    “If you back around here, then turn left, you can park wherever you like, the police have all gone home now. What passes for a beach is down that lane in front of you, and the old harbour and sites are just a short walk along there too. Enjoy mon Frere!”

    The same has happened to us in Sardinia when we were up in the mountains and almost out of gas. Trying to get directions to a petrol station from someone speaking no English and us no Italian at all. I finally managed it via my schoolboy Latin of all things, and we made the station on fumes!

    Nope, the People of Europe are definately not the problem, but we know who and what is, don’t we boys and girls?

  5. John Galt says:

    Nope, the People of Europe are definately not the problem, but we know who and what is, don’t we boys and girls?

    I’ve lived and worked all over Europe using English and basic French, German and a smattering of Italian. In nearly 20-years, I’ve never had a problem with the locals.

    It’s the marxists like José Manuel Barroso and his fellow travellers that have caused most of Europe’s problems. The award of the Nobel Peace prize brings nothing but contempt to a corrupt organization.

  6. Single Acts of Tyranny says:

    “Katie Price not the near-East country”

    Perhaps not, but I do not know ‘visitor’ numbers for either.

  7. johnpd says:

    Good rant Nick.
    But I don’t think you are taking the EUSSR project quite seriously enough.
    Ultimately it’s not patronising, it’s frightening.
    The EU was born after WWII out of fear of a then rampant USSR, & was heavily subsidised by CIA money. Originally sold to us as a Common Market, it never was.
    It was always a federal project, with a one Europe govt as the target. Ted Heath, the liar, would admit this privately. The tactics remain federal govt by stealth, salami slicing away our laws & sovereignty little by little. Greece & Italy are now run by EU technocrats, not democratically elected. Ireland has had it’s banks hopeless debts put on the shoulders of it’s people. They will be paying that debt for generations. They are enslaved to the EU banks.
    The EU, however, is only part of the project.
    The FED in US is the real US govt. Democrat or Republican is just a smokescreen.
    The FED project, promoted through the UN, is a one world govt.
    Based on UN Agenda 21, the strategy is lower world population, equalising the wealth of continents, abolishing the family & private property & severely restricting movement of populace.
    You’re annoyed about railways? US cities are now being designed along railways instead of roads.
    Ever wondered why Tony Bliar allowed untold immigration into UK?
    It’s all part of Agenda 21, max poor immigrants, working for minimum wages to bring down UK living standards.
    Check out YouTube The Money Masters ( Rothchilds Exposed).
    It’s dated, (1996), & 3 1/2 hrs long, but for me a real eye opener.
    Part of the package is the Global Warming Scam. promoted by UN IPCC.
    I know this sounds swivel eyed, but don’t take my word for it.
    Get on your google.

  8. John Galt says:


    Don’t forget the lizards John, you’re always forgetting the lizards…

  9. johnpd says:

    I’m not forgetting the lizards John, I’ve read my Heinlein.
    But they’re better hidden than I can detect. :)
    Did you check out the references I gave?

  10. johnpd says:

    Nick, apart from the politics, you’re spot on.
    The European people are sound.
    I’ve got 10 years on you, born 1953, & I’ve been enjoying foreign holidays almost every year since I was 18, with my then girlfriend, now wife.
    We noticed the tensions in Yugoslavia as was.
    The bus driver drove off as we were folding our boys pushchair, & various other small things, but face to face, even there, people were fine.
    It’s the politicians who hunger to control our lives, in the name of a bankrupt pseudo philosophy, & the bankers behind them, & funding them who we have to beware of.
    We live in interesting times.

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