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The Black Spider Returns…

And returns and returns.  Chuckles Buggerlugs 111, our future (unless he falls under a number 47 bus) and final King, is at it again. The Air-miles Airhead assails us once again. The Private Frazier of the Monarchy tells us that we are “Doomed! Doomed !!”  if we don’t follow his example in Saving the Planet.

I’d love to follow his Horsesarsedness, jetting around the Planet spreading gloom and doom, running my motors on left over wine from Banquets, and having a Butler prime my toothbrush with toothpaste of a morning, wouldn’t you? But hey ,I have to live in the real world, Chuckles doesn’t . And in the real world, we sentient beings know the Planet stopped warming 19 years ago, and that Windmills and solar panels are not the salvation of Mankind, but the biggest scam since the Holland Tulip lunacy and the South Sea Bubble.

“His comments came in a pre-recorded video speech accepting a lifetime achievement award at the 7th International Green Awards at Battersea Power Station in London. “

[ there’s a deep irony in there somewhere, can you spot it boys and girls?]

Ah but now with this pat on the head from his Fellow Travellers, he feels emboldened to indulge in a bit of self righteousness…

Speaking of his early warnings of the environmental threats to the planet he said the lifetime achievement award was an acknowledgement for what he described as his ‘rather inadequate efforts’ to create change.

He added: ‘All those years ago when I began to see that this could be so, I found myself labelled with every term that describes a crank.

[That’s because you are, your Hopelessness ]

“I don’t actually recommend it as a pastime but, extraordinary as it may seem, nowadays … that intuitive feeling has been backed up by a mass of scientific evidence in every possible field confirming that our predominant approach is having a very adverse effect on nature.’ [ In a Pig’s eye!]

Ah But the Green Ink King isn’t going to stop at just saving  Gaia is he? No, every subject under the sun is in his fiefdom, and he demands his fifteen minutes of attention er… every 15 minutes.

Last month the government blocked the release of secret letters Prince Charles wrote to ministers because they would ‘seriously damage’ his political neutrality and his role as future king.

The letters were requested under the Freedom of Information Act, but the Attorney General Dominic Grieve stopped the release saying they were ‘particularly frank’ and would ‘potentially have undermined his position of political neutrality’ if published.

Well fancy that! Dominic Grieve eh? The toady’s toady. 

Mark my words; the infantile mentally unarmed  self regarding and self righteous imbecile , Chuckles Buggerlugs 111, will be our last Monarch.


  1. john in cheshire says:

    RAB, I hope your forecast is correct, but I suspect it’s just wishful thinking. As for Mr Windsor’s prognostications, it must be nice to have influence without responsibility.

  2. CountingCats says:

    Sure, but is the office of Prime Minister salutable? The head of government is not entitled to the same considerations as the Head of State.

  3. RAB says:

    Sorry Cats, not with you there. Are you sure you’re on the right thread?

  4. dcardno says:

    I am a reasonably enthusiatic supporter of the monarchy, not least because Elizabeth II has done such a remarkable job – although I suppose she is just carrying on the example of her parents. It is a cruel fate that would make her son such an unworthy successor.

  5. john malpas says:

    Au contraire. Prince Charles is a perfect image for the people of England who voted Blair into power and then cooperated in the destruction of Great Britain.

  6. Robert Edwards says:

    He is the gift which gives on giving. Someone once said: “Now, there’s a fellow who needs something to do…”

    The trouble is, etc.

    When he ascends to the throne, which by simple Anno Domini he will, then his choice of what he will be called will be limited.

    Innocent XIV or Pius XIII?

  7. RAB says:

    Ah but thereby hangs the rub Robert, when he becomes King he cannot carry on being the batty busybody he is. But he won’t be able to stop himself, and God knows he’s pissed off enough Politicians already, so Republicanism will make a rapid rise, especially in the Labour party.

    Here’s a good piece on him, especially the comments section…

    I know my opinion is of no consequence but,,,,

    As a yank, I see Charles as your version of my AlGore.

    The less time he has as king. the less damage he can do.

    Queen Elizabeth has common sense and I see a woman with privilege but honor.
    Long live the Queen!
    Mick B

    Someone needs to take the prat aside and tell him that if he wants to carry on being the saviour of the Planet and an Eco Warrior with five palaces, then let the Throne skip an generation and instantly abdicate in favour of William, who will be vastly more popular and in touch than Buggerlugs ever has. It’s the only thing that will save the Monarchy.

  8. Mr Ed says:

    The rapidly promoted Admiral Charlie may well predecease his mother, he is 64. His maternal grandmother made it to 101.5 or so, and HM is 86, he might be in the late 70s by the time of succession if he makes it.

    His grandfather Geo VI was, I have read, very rude to an RAF batman in the War when his bath water in the desert wasn’t the right temperature, which to me is disappointing. I don’t think having flunkeys attend to you is any good for a sense of perspective, and frankly, it’s about time we recalled the horrors Crown and Parliament have inflicted on those innocently minding their own business, like the Clubmen. I cannot think of a single liberty preserved by HM in her 60 years in office, so what, exactly, has she done?

  9. Robert Edwards says:

    To answer your final point, Mr. Ed, the answer seems to be ‘very little’. What she and her circle might have accomplished out of the public glare will not be sure for some time.

    I have met them both and the Queen is surely beyond reproach; a wonderful person. Chuggerlugs is not; he is a selfish and spoiled brat, whose personal conduct has been questionable. to say the least.

    And yet, Edward VII (his precursor in more ways than one) was a Good King. At least, I think so. He was also well-advised, and this is the key.

    And this is a Good Thing. What’s the alternative? All those others scrambling for the job can fuck off. If it ain’t broke, why attempt to fix it?

  10. Mr Ed says:

    Yes, things might have been worse, particularly in the 1970s, we shall never know for sure?

    What to call him on succession? Charles I and II left baggage, and moving from that name might portray a break from his own past.
    Edward IX?
    George VII?
    Henry IX?
    William V?

  11. Robert Edwards says:

    In truth, the name doesn’t really matter much; the Office is the thing. He can call himself Ethelred The Ready if he so desires. Not that I care much.

    But it is constitutionally important. The Queen gets that; understands it totally. I am not entirely sure that Chuggerlugs does.

    As for the Charleses, well, we can agree to disagree on them. The First kept us out of the Thirty Years’ War, but triggered (in part) our First proper civil war, ruled badly, but also displayed a marvellous capacity to die. The Second dug up Cromwell and had his head stuck on a pike in Whitehall. For twelve years. And Parliament should never forget it.

  12. NickM says:

    Top notch stuff. I agree entirely. Now if we want to continue as a monarchy there’s this road tunnel in Paris and you can get a FIAT Uno for bugger-all these days. And then just flush the vile bugger down the drain. After-all he did once dream of being a tampon… And that haunts me in terms of it’s weirdness. Camilla is supposed to be the love of his life yet he desired to be a disposable item in her vagina. Forget the Uno. He should be left to speak to Audrey in the potting shed. That’s Greener anyway. When they made the chutney that would truly be a Duchy Original.

  13. NickM says:

    Edward VII? Entente Cordials and all that? Now how many men died at the Somme because liked to put his dick in Parisian ladies of negotiable virtue.

  14. Lynne says:

    Time for the succession to skip a generation if only for the sake of its survival.

    Willy? Or Willy not?

  15. PeterT says:

    surely Charles is overdue for a Nobel peace prize

  16. NickM says:

    Possibly to be administered PR by Scary Spice in a ceremony to be called the Royal Nonesuch. They really ought to rename the Peace Prize the “Unmitigated Cunts Prize”. They could have Ant and Dec present it from the O2 Arena and we all get to phone vote on our favourite unmitigated cunt of the year. Give him his due, Obama looked embarrassed by his Peace prize. The one he won for not being George W Bush.

    Anyway, why not Ant and Dec as co-heads of state?

  17. Simon Jester says:

    During the Cold War, there was a story that all American nuclear bases on British soil had British snipers on-site, in case they got any funny ideas about launching unilateral first strikes.

    Probably untrue, but it does provide certain ideas in case Lilibeth starts to feel ill…

  18. Robert Edwards says:

    @Nick: The Somme had little to do with Edward VII. It didn’t really even have that much to do with the incompetent Asquith. It had a lot to do with Wilhelm II, who was a shit.

    If I thought that Imperial policy regarding Europe had anything to do with where Teddy liked to get his dick wet, then I would be the first on the barricades…

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