From The Guardian we have:
“Experience: I gave birth outside Waitrose”. (Please read the whole thing It is unfiskable nonce…) Obviously, The Guardian doesn’t have the companion piece, “I got knocked-up round the back of Aldi”. That would be merely for the lower classes. So enter the Daily Mail. Soon… Too soon if you ask me.
But not yet! The Guardian has this to say about the towels used (was this a John Lewis ad?) “They gave us them” – well obviously! Do you want towels someone else gave birth on? I mean they weren’t exactly saleable after that were they? Do you want some placenta with that Madam?
Anyway I find the use of the name “John” for Lewis somewhat bizarre in the context. It was a boy but it would seem the person who did most was an Alexandria. So not Alexander? I mean name the kid after the effective midwife and not the owner of the car-park.
From the Daily Mail we have this gem.
A disgusted mother is boycotting high street chemist Boots after she found her children playing with a sex toy near the checkouts. [disgusted I tells ya!]
Alison Savory wrote to Boots chief executive Alex Gourlay after her sons, aged six and eight, picked up a purple Durex vibrator displayed ‘prominently’ in the store.
The mother-of-three, from Crowthorne, Berkshire, said: ‘Call me a prude, but it is not something children should be exposed to.
‘Boots presents a family image – since when did it turn into Ann Summers?’
Ms Savory, an acupuncturist, let her sons wait near the tills at the Camberley store while paying for her shopping with her two-year-old daughter on December 23.
She said: ‘I don’t choose to take my children into a sex shop, but in a family shop I felt happy for the children to run around.’
The 42-year-old was ‘flabbergasted’ and ‘embarrassed’ when she found them playing with the penis-shaped toy displayed at their eye level by a wall of condoms next to the till. [a wall of condoms!!!]
She said ‘I wasn’t ready to have that conversation in the middle of a busy Boots – I was very embarrassed.
‘I felt Boots took my choice away as a parent and that upset me.’
Four points. The first is that the Fail article repeats the word “family” repeatedly and ad nauseum. Might I suggest that a “mother of three” probably knows a bit about sex – unless it was all down to jumped-up fanny-mechanic Lord Winston. Second, nobody forced her into Boots. Third, where does she get off on lecturing Boots on it’s business model? If Boots wants to sell sex-toys (perfectly legal – this is England – not Iran) then fair enough. Their biz, their rules which brings me to the ultimate point: she owes Boots an apology, not the other way around. She pretty much admits to letting her kids run wild on private property and wreck the goods which were not her property. Would you want a dildo that had been fondled by a six-year old? I assume you aren’t Jimmy Saville.
So, that is it. That is why I’m a libertarian. Both articles are deeply risible. The Guardian one fails to address the fundamental point which is the lack of an ambulance (20 minutes! – in inner-city London! – spitting distance from the Royal London Hospital -which I lived near for a year and I know has a helipad). I mean it’s like come for the posh ham and stay for the child-birth. It reads like something from the John Lewis press-office. The Mail story is just demented. It is a story about a woman who can’t control her kids and wants a private business to do it instead.
Oh, and seeing as the Mail, which makes a big deal of being a “family” paper, hangs up a “Femail” side-bar which is essentially soft-porn for old gits.