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A Balanced Contribution

Further to SaoT’s “not a debate” thread (which I have no issue with) and referring in particular to the last sentence of Robert Edwards’ comment:

The sad truth is that some birds are, as you say, ‘easier on the eye’ than others, so good luck to them; it must be q. rough being a munter, but those are the breaks, I’m afraid…

I’m afraid I can’t let Robert’s gauntlet lie unmolested.

You see, I’m no oil painting.  Neither are most of the women in my family.  We are all Plain Janes and therefore, if you accept Robert’s point of view, munters.  We do, however, possess brains, personality and, in the main, senses of humour.  We are also, by and large, with a slight emphasis on the large in my case, successful.  I don’t feel, or have ever felt, hard done by in the looks department.  Despite the lack of visually stunning facial attributes I still managed to bag a successful man.  A design engineer in fact.  We have a comfortable, if modest life together, we live in a nice area and after almost thirty years of marriage he still treats me like the sun shines out of my every orifice.  The lack of any kind of easy on the eye beauty ideal has never held me back so no, it isn’t q. rough being a munter.

I was a beautiful baby and have the pics to prove it.  However, I didn’t live up to the early promise.  Never gave it a second thought because you see, I could beat the pants off the pretty, giggly girly girls when it came to smarts.  Boys, make-up and fashion have never featured on my conversational radar because I would much sooner watch paint dry.  Like the bulk of the female population I don’t envy good looks and I’m of the opinion that if you’ve got it then why not flaunt it.  And, as Robert says, good luck to those who do.  If they want to decorate some bloke’s arm or use their physical attributes to sell goods or catch a well to do hubby then go for it and go for it hard because there is a shelf life to beauty unless you want to go the way of the scalpel.  Smarts last a hell of a lot longer.

I’ve seen pretty girls bed hop like sex crazed frogs in the hope of catching the man of their dreams.  It never seemed to quite work out for them and all they got was a rep for being easy; popular but not wifely material.  I never had to do that to catch a bloke but it isn’t because I’m a munter and no one ever asked me.  I wouldn’t lower myself.  In fact I feel sorry for the lasses who believe they have to flit from bloke to bloke in order to work their way up the social ladder.  I got there through sheer hard graft and using my noggin.  My significant other half came along later.  However it was my well fitted uniform skirt over suspenders (it was bloody hot in the summer of 1976) that initially snagged him.  Right after I nicked him for speeding…

I might be a munter in the eyes of some but I’m not some hairy-lipped, envious as hell, face that sucked a thousand lemons femiloon.  I scorn the harridans who dictate how a gorgeous lass should behave.  How very dare they vilify any woman with the guts to strut her stuff.  They should give us all a break, STFU and go shave their armpits.

Having said that I have a confession to make.

If some fairy godmother popped up and offered to make me easy on the eye as well a keep my intelligence I’d jump at it.  Who wouldn’t want the best of both worlds?  However, if the same FG offered beauty at the expense of 25% of my IQ I’d tell her where to stick her wand.  You see I prize intelligence more than looks.  As for todays female role models – gawd help us!  I’ll never be inspired by or aspire to be a Cheryl Cole, a Jordan or a WAG.  The very idea of living a life like that leaves me cold.  I’d sooner put out my eyes than read about them or watch them.  They have no interest for me.  I’m far more interested in politics, science, shooting clay and off-roading.

Being a munter is no bar to ambition.  All you need to do is look at Charlie Jug-ears’ squeeze.  She might look rough but that didn’t stop her hooking the heir to the throne.

Being plain ordinary isn’t a burden.  Lacking the ability to turn heads never killed me nor turned me into an envious bitch.  My existence isn’t rough by any stretch of the imagination.  Munter is just a name.  I shall wear it with pride because I had to fight for what I have.  It didn’t get offered to me because I have perky boobs and a face that the Royal Navy could use to supplement their depleted fleet.  If individuals need to pigeonhole me as a munter because nature didn’t grace me with a certain type of physiology then it says more about them than about me.  I inhabit the middle ground, a place between stunning and munter.  And let me tell you, it’s bloody crowded.


  1. RAB says:

    Well said Lynne. I too am not a looker. I may be 6′ 2″ and far from ugly, but I have always been very thin and very young looking for my age ( now ancient). This is now a great advantage to me, but in my youth it was a pain in the arse. Looking 15 when you’re 21 doth not pull the ladies. I could not flex my pecs because I didn’t have any, and the first time I went to the States, aged 21, I had to carry my passport with me constantly, because walking into a New York Bar with friends my age, what I got was… Oi where do you think YOU’RE going Sonny?… from the doormen.

    All the ladies I have loved I had to laugh into bed by the force of my personality, not by flexing my six pack, then take advantage of them when they were helpless with the giggles. Well a plain man’s gotta do, what a plain man with wit, has gotta do! 😉

  2. Will Williams says:

    A fine summary!


  3. Julie near Chicago says:


    As one who is (even now) tolerably bright (except when ALL my marbles have gone missing), and who used to commute a lot between munter and somewhat-less-munter territory but never exactly Miss America material,

    I have to say your piece is absolutely delightful. And you’re absolutely right. :>))

  4. JuliaM says:

    “However, if the same FG offered beauty as the expense of 25% of my IQ I’d tell her where to stick her wand.”

    Quite so! For the less than Venus-like, we invented cosmetics, hairdressing and flattering couture – there’s nothing known to science that will fake an IQ!

  5. APL says:

    First thought, there are ‘munters’ and there are ‘plain Janes’ the two are not the same.

    “Right after I nicked him for speeding…”

    Yea, well having recently been made redundant, the pre severance treck to HR was made more enjoyable by the filly that occupied the post of executioner.

    But that is Men’s Achilles heal, we will forgive a woman an awful lot that another man wouldn’t get away with

  6. permex says:

    Never heard of the word in English….in German, ‘munter’ means happy, lively & cheerful…which sounds just right for you. Sei und bleib munter!

  7. Philip Scott Thomas says:

    @Julie Near Chi

    …one who is (even now) tolerably bright (except when ALL my marbles have gone missing), and who used to commute a lot between munter and somewhat-less-munter territory but never exactly Miss America material

    Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever your phiz, Julie, you still remain one of my fave contribs here abouts.

  8. Julie near Chicago says:

    Awwwww….. ;>)

  9. john malpas says:

    You can have brains and the rest. Well a smile fifty years ago lead to marriage and three progeny. And still my wife can beat me at crosswords.

  10. GW says:

    One American comic used to joke that he wanted two things when he got off work – “a beer and to see something naked.” In all fairness to the comment that you take issue with, Lynn, the commentor is talking from the standpoint of all men at the most base level – and from our view of modern feminists who wish to attack men for that aspect of our nature. It’s one thing to demand of ourselves that we act with restraint, another entirely for obsessed feminists to demand that we deny nature.

    As to what does and does not constitute a “munter,” my own observation over many years has been that the more a person appeals to one on an intellectual and emotional level, the more beautiful or more handsome they become in one’s eye, with each imperfection only an enhancement – nature’s version of beer goggles. (And looking like ET’s less handsome brother, it is an aspect of human nature for which I am eternally grateful)

    With the addition of those comments, I salute your fine essay, Ms. Lynne.

  11. Single Acts of Tyranny says:

    If I might add a personal observation or perhaps that should be confession. A shockingly high number of women over the years have declined to go to bed with me, (well it was a shock to me anyway, if not to those realistic and sane).

    Of those that did start a relationship but later ended it, I was only really upset by one of ’em. She was perhaps the least attractive physically, but I was entirely taken with her other charms including her real intellect, sense of fun, notable difference from me and just the whole chemistry thing.

    Once you get past the model looks and bikini bodies, it really is what’s inside their heads. It is for me anyway.

  12. Lynne says:

    Once you get past the model looks and bikini bodies, it really is what’s inside their heads. It is for me anyway.

    Which is all most of us ask for – acknowledge the contents, not just the packaging. 😀

  13. Single Acts of Tyranny says:

    “acknowledge the contents, not just the packaging”

    Not always easy for a young man. Back in the early 1990’s I did date a model from the Storm agency. So pleased was I with this (“yes, my girlfriend is a model, yes that’s her in the magazine”) I put up with all manner of crappy, demanding behaviour, substance abuse, personal abuse etc etc.

    I honestly think that some beauties don’t need to develop a personality as they can get away with absolute murder.

    In their twenties.

    Then in turns around really fast. It is great to be a beautiful woman in your twenties, it is absolute hell to be a formerly beautiful one in your late thirties especially if you still have the personality (or absence there of) of your former self.

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