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How to be a dictator in the West

1. Make guns illegal and people defenceless

2. Subjugate the parliament to your will

3. Remove the right to silence on arrest

4. Make citizens prove they own stuff legally or seize it if they can’t

5. Restrict the right to trial by jury

6. Make citizens seek your consent, before they protest against you

7. Increase the amount of time you can detain anyone to say 60 days, without trial or charge

8. Think about admitting evidence in court obtained under torture

9. Ensure a supranational body like European commissioners, that you can neither elect nor dismiss has power to pass laws on a wide range of issues in your country

10. Remove the rules on double jeopardy, so the state can keep prosecuting citizens, for the same alleged crime, until they get the result, they want

11. Pass laws making certain views illegal, like hate-crimes and arrest Christians for quoting the bible

12. Have the toughest libel laws in the world that only the very wealthy can ever access

13. Introduce an ID card, so that not being able to prove who you are, when challenged by the state becomes a crime !!!! even though you know, this will have no impact at all on “terrorism” which is the nonsense to justify it

14. Decide there are countries you don’t like, and make up a bunch of lies about WMD or regime change to democracy (ha, ha)  and cause utter carnage and murder on a grand scale and make tough sounding speeches, whilst remaining safely 7,000 miles away yourself.  Use either your own troops or give weapons and support to unknown lunatics who have (and will again) turned said weapons on you.  Ignore obvious sociopathic regimes like Bahrain and hope no-one notices your wild hypocrisy.

Ignore further the disasterous, corrupt failures the subsequent regimes become and have no shame you sent your betters to die pointless, empty deaths,

15. Arrest people for loudly decrying immigration ‘pour encourager les autres’ the lesson being “forget about free speech you troublesome plebs, some things cannot be said”

16. Introduce de facto capital controls by demanding plebs tell you if they have more than 10,000 Euros on them

17. Introduce security theatre at airports and normalise young children being molested by out-and-out vermin.

18. Introduce any number of pointless bylaws to hector and confuse people but to inculcate obedience like rummaging through garbage.

19. Ensure no opinions outside of the ‘acceptable ones’ ever get any kind of fair treatment on TV if you mention them at all.  Panic wildly when these things start spreading on the internet and try to find a way of censoring it.

20. Rely on the hard of thinking to spout “Well if you’ve nothing to hide you’ve nothing to fear….and anyway, I’m not a terrorist” whilst they are distracted by televised singing and dancing contests that they get to vote in, and celebrity diets etc……

Thank God nothing like that could ever happen here.  Er……….


  1. Martyn Jones says:

    Exactly. Too late. Already has.

  2. Lynne says:

    You forgot creating mass panic (e.g. AGW) in order to tighten the screw.

  3. CountingCats says:

    Some of your examples are a bit forced, but nonetheless……

  4. RAB says:

    Yep, pretty good State of the Nation address there SAoT.

    “Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.”

    ― Plato

    And the bad people are usually the ones writing the Laws in the first place.

  5. Phil B says:

    Too much trouble to readand you have missed out the instructions to achieve utopia.

    Try googling “despotism made easy A SELF-HELP GUIDE FOR THE ASPIRING TYRANT” fto address the deficiencies … THAT’S the kind of easily digested 10 step guide that you need.

    I’m sure Tony Blair based his success on this (especially point No. 10).

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