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Cop Scotch

Engineering the behaviour of our children continues apace.  Traditional playground games like Cops and Robbers are to be considered an unwanted anachronism because they might “promote violence”.

A primary school has come under fire after banning its pupils from playing cops and robbers or any playground game which involves ‘imaginary weapons’

Trans:  Don’t let kids use their imaginations, it might lead to independent thought.

School chiefs at Worcesters Primary School in Enfield, north London, outlawed the games over a fear that they will upset other children.

Trans:  An imaginary bullet might hit someone of a sensitive disposition causing them to loose control of their bladder/anal sphincter/both.

But parents at the 470-pupil school have reacted with outrage, saying that playing cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians was ‘part of growing up’.

Trans:  But since the staff at this school have clearly not grown up then it comes as no surprise they aren’t going to allow the kids to grow up either.

Father Mark Ayers said his seven-year-old son came home last week after being told off for playing with a pretend gun.

Memo to School Health and Safety Co-ordinator from Headmistress: please draft letter to all parents of male pupils stating that the wearing of mittens in the playground during break times will become compulsory from next week.  Anyone seen pointing a finger at another pupil in suspiciously violent way will be excluded immediately.

Mr Ayers also spoke out after his son had a fun-size pack of Maltesers confiscated by teachers after it was spotted in his lunch box.

Trans:  Maltesers resemble musket balls.  Musket balls are fired from guns.  The confection is clearly harmful to impressionable youngsters.

My Ayers said: ‘I put the Maltesers in as a weekly treat, but the school confiscated them for some reason.

Trans:  The offending items were shared out amongst the staff to be eaten disposed of sustainably.

‘The school should be concentrating on other things rather than banning children playing games and taking their chocolate away.’

Trans:  The teachers are too busy snooping and playing nanny to teach.

Another parent, who asked not to be named, said: ‘My son was told that he was not allowed to play with imaginary guns or weapons in the playground by his teacher.

Trans:  But we are expected to send him to school to acquire an imaginary education.

‘He’s nine years old and plays cops and robbers at home with his brothers, so he finds it quite strange to be told it’s not allowed to do the same at playtime with his friends.’

Trans:  Headmistress to Head of Social Services:  When I identify who said this perhaps a visit to these errant parents will be undertaken.  Abusing their children by encouraging them to play violent games surely warrants family court proceedings.

Headteacher Karen Jaeggi defended the policy this week, saying: ‘We actively discourage children from playing violent games or games involving imaginary weapons in the playground by explaining to them what it represents.

Trans:  Young boys enjoying themselves engaging in heterosexual, mock adult role playing is clearly not in tune with our infantilised, post gender society and must be stamped out.

‘Some children can be easily frightened by violent play which is often influenced by computer games and we feel that such games can have a harmful effect on young minds.’

Trans:  Although no one has actually complained as yet.  It’s only a matter of time though.

Speaking about the ban on chocolate snacks, the headteacher added: ‘At Worcesters we promote healthy eating habits since we recognise the problems of childhood obesity in the borough and want to do our best for the children attending this school.’

Trans:  But we don’t recognise the fact that by not permitting children to exercise themselves by racing around the playground playing games they enjoy, they aren’t going to burn the calories that might otherwise make them fat.

You couldn’t make it up…


  1. Paul Marks says:

    It is happening the United States (and no doubt in many other Western nations). The obsession with health – the hostilty to “violent games” (playing soldiers, cops and robbers – anything….).

    The left control the universities (including “teacher training”) – and the government funded “school systems” are perfect for leftists to control.

    Winning elections is pointless can pervert the minds of the youth. Of course most children do not grow up to be Communists – but their minds our confused and (as Ludwig Von Mises noted a century ago) the hardest working and most intelligent children are MOST at risk – because their minds not only absorb the information like blotting paper, they also take the interventionist ideas they are taught (“the rich” and “big business” are the source of all problems, in history and in the present – and the answer to all problems is for the government to “do something”).

    The logical conclusion of such ideas is collectivism – savage, class war based, collectivism.

    That is why (paradoxically) it is often the most intelligent and hardworking children who grow up to be collectivists – using their intelligence to do HARM (to undermine civilisation and to promote evil). They have simply taken the ideas and information they were taught (taught at age when it was normal to accept what they were taught) to its logical conclusions. For example the history that claims that progress occurs when government sees a terrible thing and either passes regulations to ban it, or spends lots of money to deal with it (take that concept to its logical conclusion…..).

    Some may reject this ideology eventually – but the overall effect is terrible.

    Terrible for the young “rebels” and “revolutionaries” (whose minds have been poisoned) and terrible for everyone else in the society they work to undermine (often from the highest positions).

    “Practical” people who think they can “reform” this system (the system of the universities and schools) are deluded. Even in Texas (after all the efforts at reform) it was found that some 80% of schools were following a far left curriculum created, behind closed doors, by “education experts”. Texas had rejected the leftist curriculum, unconstitutionally, created by Comrade Barack Obama’s Federal government – but local leftists just created much the same thing behind the backs of the people. The lunatic leftists even tried to make it crime to disclose what was in their curriculum …. so much for “openess”, “diversity” and “freedom of speech”,

    So the “practical” alternative (reform the current system) just does not seem to work – the leftist control of the educational and administrative STRUCTURE prevents it working.

    Time to consider more fundemental options?

  2. Plamus says:

    I’ll just leave this, this, this, and this here. The tide of high-capacity tactical assault selective-fire AK-17’s pop tarts and pizza slices with bayonet mounts has been stemmed – for now – thanks to brave, vigilant, overworked, and underpaid teachers and administr… ah, screw it, I gotta sign off before I go full NickM on their useless asses.

  3. Single Acts of Tyranny says:

    When someone takes your cash at gunpoint and forces your kids into their schools, this is the kind of crap you get.

    Whereas, I’ve been looking at some independent schools for the boy and it is a ‘chalk and cheese’ type comparison. Seriously, the standards aren’t even close.

  4. Sam Duncan says:

    “Father Mark Ayers said his seven-year-old son came home last week”

    Well, that’s him out of the running for Pope then.

  5. Julie near Chicago says:

    Well done, Lynne! *applause*

    Quite right, Paul. And Acts has the right idea: go private in education. Home-school, or club together with like-minded parents to hire tutors (or split tutoring among yourselves), or send the wee ones (through whatever age you think best) to a good private (American “private”) school.

    That way you have the power of exit AND the power of the purse–thus, best of all, the power of choice. (Yes, taxes, *sigh*, I know … is the economics term “dead cost”? Anyway, it’s overhead and, for our sins–literally–nearly unavoidable in our two fair countries.)

    Richard Epstein (with whom I disagree more often than not, but he’s always interesting) points out that Local Government, i.e. Local Control, is not necessarily the answer, because it can be quite as coercive as Federal or Parliamentarian control, especially as one can often manage to escape the notice of enforcers of the latter, whereas your Town Council or County Board is in a position to directly coerce the heck out of you.

    If education were solely in the hands of the parents, the worst they would have to undergo (absent serious, evident abuse) would be social pressure. (Which can be damaging to the whole family, no doubt about it, but in this world nothing’s perfect. Although I gots to admit there is a lot to like. *g*)

    I know, preaching to the choir…. :>(

  6. John Galt says:

    @Julie near Chicago:

    The difficulty with “private” schooling in the UK is that we are so overtaxed that after the taxes have been paid and the mortgage there’s no where near enough left over to be able to afford a decent “private” school (£12,000 per year or $18,000 US)

    To get a decent education for our daughter Samantha, we ended up emigrating to Malaysia and Samantha has goes to a “private” Chinese school costing about £300 per year.

    Good luck with your independent school SAoT.

  7. RAB says:

    God what a sad no fun bunch of wimps they are raising today. Kids of my generation were tooled up to the max with real weapons, not bloody imaginary ones.

    Well the guns wern’t real of course, but toys, but we wanted them as realistic as possible. Die cast Lone Star six shooter cap guns to play the Lone Ranger with. A Raccoon hat and a flintlock pistol to play Davy Crockett with. I had an M1 carbine with batteries in the stock and when you pressed the trigger the magazine made a very agreeable Budda Budda Budda sound.

    But the problem was they didn’t project, so you used to get arguements like… bang bang you’re dead!… No I’m not you missed…. didn’t… did…

    So by age 12 we solved the problem by using steel catapults with thick elastic and firing acorns at each other. Yes we could have had each others eye out, but somehow never managed to, we were much better shots than that.

    We had bows and arrows and crossbows too, and later airguns, though we never fired those at each other of course.

    Would that this risk averse world will wither and die of shame.

  8. Lynne says:

    I had a plastic gun that looked like an automatic hand gun and it could fire dried peas which stung slightly if they hit bare flesh rather than clothing. I know because I’ve been on the receiving end of a few. You see it wasn’t just the lads who enjoyed a good mock gunfight and I wasn’t the only girl who played the game as we dodged between the trees and bushes in the local park or between cars and gateways if we decided to “go urban”. This was the sixties and we were more influenced by war films than westerns, mostly because many of our dads had fought in WWII and/or Korea. We lasses had to work hard to prove that we were contenders and not coat holders. I loved the challenge.

    I did enjoy reveling in the bodies of the vanquished strewn around or standing wimpishly to the side if the ground was wet because being victorious was the entire point of the game. I played to win. I was more than happy to beat the proverbial pants off other kids including my own brother and his pals. Now I play with shotguns but still only for fun. I’ve never managed to murder or maim anyone or any creature that wasn’t shaped like a clay pigeon*. Nor have I ever gone on a frenzied gun rampage. Funny that…

    *I do, however, give the clays topical names – Brown, Blair, Cameron, Clegg, etc. Much more fun and very cathartic when you see them shatter to bits.

  9. Mr Ed says:

    The young Simo Hayha, a Finn, learned to shoot, and cost Stalin 700 men, a Soviet regiment, during the Winter War, as a sniper. Every schoolboy should know this. Of course, what we have here is not ‘PC gone mad’, it is ‘PC’, and someone has noticed.äyhä

    To reverse Trotsky, in a free society, attitudes like those teachers could mean starvation.

  10. Single Acts of Tyranny says:

    @ JG ~ He is an only child and we are indeed looking at about £12K a year. So the Ferrari is on the back burner for a few years as are half-way decent holidays, Armani suits etc. But the state provision is a joke. If I ever can’t afford the fees then it’s home schooling as the catchment school is overrun and staffed by loons.

    @ Mr Ed ~ you may have stumbled upon why they don’t want us to have guns. Rifle practice (and the terrain) saved Switzerland in WW2 from the Nazis and since then from oppressive government.

  11. RAB says:

    Lynne, how does one go about purchasing a shotgun together with the Licence etc? I already know how to shoot but living in the centre of Bristol rather than a rural sort of place, will it be more difficult? I think we all may need one soon.

  12. PeterT says:

    My dad being a peacenik clogwearer I was banned from playing with toy guns.

    Quite how a plastic toy is less dangerous than the:

    – mace (piece of wood with nails driven through it)
    – kasurigama
    – various wooden swords
    – blow pipe
    – grenades made from fireworks
    – firebombs
    – etc

    that I put together in the garage I don’t understand.

    Can’t do DIY for toffee now though. Wife most vexed.

  13. John Galt says:


    £12,000 a year is a lot of money, especially as it’s entirely net income without any possibility of relief.

    If we had a decent voucher system in operation then at least you could reclaim the notional cost of the now unused place your son would have occupied in the state school system (around £6,000 per year if I recall correctly).

    However, with the strangle hold of the teachers unions in this country they would fight tooth-and-nail against it as they know full well that it would be truly transformational.

    Can’t have the plebs deciding to go to St. Rutherford’s rather than Aneurin Bevan J&I can we? Equally, school vouchers are often demanded by the white, middle class types with pointy elbows, so can be safely denied on the grounds of “equality, fairness & open access” the modern mantra for political justification of failure and inaction.

  14. Lynne says:

    RAB, I don’t know how they do this stuff down in Bristol but up here in Lancashire you apply to the local constabulary. Up here you can download the application form online. You need to buy a secure gun cabinet and a police officer will be expected to come along to ensure that any guns and ammo you have will be stored properly. Of course, the licence comes before the firearm.

    My firestick is a lightweight, side by side Yildiz with a single trigger. My other half has a much heavier shotgun which I have trouble handling so I don’t try. He’s much more muscular than me anyway.

    These things cost serious money which is why I bought mine secondhand from a local farmer. Owing to the rising cost of living I don’t go to clay shoots half as often as I used to because they aren’t cheap. You can, if you are so inclined, go on rabbit shoots with local farmers. Much cheaper and in some cases can be free. I can’t bring myself to shoot bunnies though. Or rooks.

  15. Mr Ed says:

    RAB, you may find yourself in a ‘target-rich’ environment one day.

  16. bloke in spain says:

    Worth putting this story into context.
    London Borough of Enfield, where the school is, is home to a ‘diverse’ community.

    ‘We actively discourage children from playing violent games or games involving imaginary weapons in the playground by explaining to them what it represents’

    That’s ‘diverse’ in the sense, the kid sitting in the next desk to your child may be from the borough’s vibrant & numerous Somali community & have a brother currently caressing a heavy machine gun mounted on the back of a pick up trundling the streets of Mogadishu. If he’s not pointing his AK at the heads of the crew of a ship seized by pirates off the country’s scenic shoreline. Even otherwise swaggering Yardies from nearby Tottenham give parts of Enfield a wide berth.
    Yes, one can see why it wouldn’t be advisable for kids to play with imaginary weapons. Learning the firing procedures of an RPG might be more appropriate.

  17. bloke in spain says:

    Purchasing a shot-gun can usually be done from the boot of a car at the back of certain pubs. The hacksaw is available at any DIY store. A shotgun certificate implies registration. Not the best policy for ‘personal defense weapons’.

  18. Phil B says:

    Ahhh .. yes. Political Correctness. Altering reality to coincide with a delusion. What could possibly go wrong?

  19. NickM says:

    Ever tried pukka flight-sims set int the pre-missile-era? Because shooting lead – like with clays is dead important. If you don’t believe me look up the biographies of the top WWII and Korean War aces. For me the later model F-86s had a radar computing gunsight. So I could concentrate on flying int the stll-limit and turning inside a MiG-15.

    More generally, graphic violence and suff has moved over into computer games.

    More specifically, the Quaker kids round here when they have a “kid’s meeting” are ripping out the bamboo round the garden and going to the 100% Zorro in the hammer and tongs. It is universal. To quote a universal truth from Viz, “Don’t be soft – have a fight!”

  20. Lynne says:

    My other half is into flight-sims, Nick. They leave me cold I’m afraid. The great part about blasting clay is that it is outside, away from the electronic beast I spend far too much time in front of.


  21. […] I know. As Lynne at ‘Counting Cats’ points out, what a great way to stifle their imaginations, which might lead to dangerous things, […]

  22. Thornavis says:

    Apologies if I’ve mentioned this here before, I know I have in one or two other places, including Liberal Conspiracy just to wind them up but the writer known as Saki ( H.H. Munro ) nailed this sort of idiocy a century ago. His short story “The Toys of Peace” is a little gem and well worth reading if you haven’t come across it previously.

  23. Write here says:

    The Maltesers were taken away from the kid because they resemble balls. Of which the teachers at this particular school don’t have.

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