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Dhimmi Chucklelugs Rides Again…

Our favourite Trainee King is on top simpering form today on his tour of the Middle East. Talking to those lovely chaps in Qatar, he has let it be known that he is so fascinated by Muslim culture that he has been taking lessons in Arabic for the last six months, so that he can read the Koran in it’s original form.

Well best of luck with that Your Hopelessness. The man who tried to teach you Welsh, once told me that you have about as much natural ability in learning languages as a poached egg.

“I tried to learn it once but I gave up. It goes in one ear and out the other.”

Yes some of us have already spotted the gaping chasm between your left and right earlobes, Your Obtuseness.

This is all a warm up for him becoming the Defender of Faiths when he finally Zimmer frame assisted ascends to the Throne of course.  And we can look forward to more Peers of the Realm of this Calibre. I’m sure.

Meanwhile, his Consort, (Keith Richard’s mum) was having a chat with the ladies of Qatar. Seems they are rapidly moving from the 7th Century and are almost approaching the 17th… They’ve got jobs! Well not quite real ones, more home shopping really. But hey it’s a start isn’t it?

I could be a slippery slope though for you Qatari males if you don’t keep an eye on them you know. Mobile phone parties today, Ann Summers Hen do’s tomorrow. “No it’s an electric toothbrush Ali, honest! You know how much you love my smile. It’s the only thing that isn’t covered up”.

18 Comments

  1. john in cheshire says:

    You have to at least thank God that the Queen has survived so long, in that she’s prevented this retard from assuming the throne. If he loves muslims so much I’m sure the King of saudi arabia would find a place for him in that cesspit of a country. After all they received that wonderful intellectual Idi Amin. I reckon that Mr Windsor is so polluted even the Germans wouldn’t want to have him back.

  2. Tarka the Rotter says:

    Leave the P of W alone – he’s a marvellous recruiting sergeant for the Republican cause… Carry On, HRH!!!!!!!

  3. RAB says:

    Yeah but I’m not a Republican Tarka. Brenda has played a blinder for the country these last 60 years, and Wills and Kate would be a fine follow on, it’s just that rancid braindead louche old hippie, Chuckles Buggerlugs III I can’t stand the sight or sound of. he was on bloody Countryfile this week. He’ll be doing Blue Peter next (if he hasn’t already).

  4. John Galt says:

    I’m not a republican, being against the idea of having some failed politician like Tony Blair as President. Equally, I think that Brenda has done a pretty good job and I’m generally amused by Keith’s robust view of the world – don’t forget he’s a genuine war hero.

    However, if we end up with Chuckles Buggerlugs III on the thrown behaving and interfering as he currently does then we are going to end up with another constitutional crisis.

    I doubt parliament would take the Charles I approach, but parliament might take the opportunity to remind Chuckles that he lives in a constitutional monarchy and parliament has supremacy over the monarchy by forcing his abdication.

    Wouldn’t happen under Cameron though. Gutless bastard there if ever I saw one.

  5. Paul Marks says:

    Oh dear – Charles is just so unwise……

  6. Sam Duncan says:

    Can’t put it any better than John. I’m a monarchist (for want of a better word) for much the same reason I’m a minarchist: like it or not, somebody is going to take the position of HoS, so better it’s someone who can’t do anything with it than a “legitimate” president. (Oh, and do-nothing figureheads like Germany’s are just the worst of both worlds. They cost a bleeding fortune: way more than our lot do. Elections don’t come cheap. The Swiss say they don’t have one at all, but the President of the Federal Council swans about the place acting all Presidential, doing all the usual President-ey things… if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, don’t try and tell me it’s a goldfish.)

    Of course in an ideal world there’d be no state and therefore nothing to be head of, but there are too many people ready to push themselves forward as Champions/Leaders/Heroes/Fathers/Mothers/whatever of the People/Nation for that ever to happen. So we make the best of a bad job.

    The trouble with Jugears is that he wants to do something with it so very, very much. It’s because he cares, you know.

  7. Lynne says:

    Shame we can’t kick this interfering and insufferable cuckoo (in more than one sense of the word) out of his deeply feathered nest.

  8. John Galt says:

    Apologies for the typo.

    thrown = throne

    Obviously.

  9. NickM says:

    OK, Chuckles has no right to become “Defender of Faith”. “Defender of the Faith” is a gift from the Pope. It was given of course to Henry VIII. God alone knows how Chuckles can change that.

  10. John Galt says:

    Sorry to correct you, but you are missing a bit of history. It is true that Henry VIII was awarded the title “Fidei defensor” by Pope Leo X in 1521, but this was revoked by Pope Paul III when Henry broke with Rome in 1530.

    The current title of “Defender of the Faith” was conferred by Parliament on Henry and his successors in 1544 and refers to the protestant Church of England.

    Brian might wish to be known as “Defender of Faith’s”, but unless granted by parliament, it would have no standing. It’s a bit like me wanting to be known as Supreme Leader of the Universe, I might ask that people call me that, but deserve nothing but derision for being a pretentious twat.

    Brian deserves the same…

  11. John Galt says:

    Archbishop Cranmer has a wonderful posting on this subject from 2008, I must bow to his grace’s better knowledge of ecclesiastical matters.

    (link)

  12. NickM says:

    Dear Supreme Leader of the Universe,

    If we are in pedantry corner here then you have a superflous apostrophe.

    Yours,

    God-Emperor of the Quantum Multiverse* – yes, I even rule that Universe where you turned the toaster up a notch and burnt the house down. Or the outlying dimensions where George Galloway won the X-Factor. Or the one where Gideon Osborne is chancellor…

    *Also available for weddings, baptisms, bar-mitzvahs etc…

  13. NickM says:

    Dear Supreme Leader of the Universe,

    If we are in pedantry corner here then you have a superflous apostrophe.

    Yours,

    God-Emperor of the Quantum Multiverse* – yes, I even rule that Universe where you turned the toaster up a notch and burnt the house down. Or the outlying dimensions where George Galloway won the X-Factor. Or the one where Gideon Osborne is chancellor…

    PS. Cranmer is on the money. As a heathen myself I find “Defender of Faith” really creepy.

    *Also available for weddings, baptisms, bar-mitzvahs etc…

  14. NickM says:

    God knows what happened there!

  15. Kaffeesachse says:

    There’s always the Jacobite option, if the idea of a Catholic monarch is now acceptable (clearly immensely preferable to an Islamophilic one) and assuming the continued union of the English and Scottish crowns.

    This would mean the Bavarian House of Wittelsbach, a very colourful dynasty which historically veered between madness and brilliance in successive generations. :)

  16. John Galt says:

    “If we are in pedantry corner here then you have a superflous apostrophe.”

    As they say up North “Aye ‘appen”, but at least I can spell superfluous and know that Keith is a twat who will bring the house of “Windsor” (totally invented if you recall your history) to its knees before ‘Liz is cold in her grave.

    Where is Francis Ewan Urquhart when you need him?

  17. RAB says:

    I couldn’t possibly say, John….

  18. Roue le Jour says:

    I’d like the crown to have some powers, specifically the power to ask, “How’s this supposed to work exactly, fatboy?

    Oh, and it has to be off to tower if he doesn’t provide a satisfctory answer, unlike PMQs.

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