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Disproportionate Response!

So there’s a basketball game and it ends up with a score of 100-0.

And a coach gets fired for it.

Which coach?

Oddly enough not the coach of the team that was mauled.

I have played basketball and 100-0 is shocking. The coach of the losing team should have done the decent thing and quietly ended it all in the parking lot or at least decided that his or her talents lay elsewhere.

I was pants at basketball. but the fact I kept on being beaten did not discourage me. It was a good thing. I learned that I wasn’t good at everything and to keep up with the math and science. In fact I was abysmal at almost all team sports. I’m OK at five-a-side footie, a demon at crazy golf and a volleyball assassin*. I couldn’t hack full-size footy or Rubgy and never saw the point of cricket. I assume there is a point to it. Either that or it is simply organised loafing indulged in by mentalists and the colonies.

The idea that playing to your best and giving the other side an epic twatting is “Not Christian” is beyond belief because ultimately it doesn’t really matter. And the fact this happened in Texas frankly scares me.

C’mon folks… If you want a network installed talk to me. If you want Russian turned into English talk to my wife. Get that the wrong way round and there will be (an expensive) big blue flash and a diplomatic incident. It’s horses for courses. I have no idea what the fuck a gerund is and the missus wouldn’t know a Fourier Transform if it bit her on the ass. That is the way the world works. People pay other people to do things they can’t do themselves.

*The only team game at my school which was played with mixed sides… That might be related but I have a vicious serve on me nonetheless. I’m also a fair Badminton player – it must be something to do with high nets… Or possibly because I played against an ex of mine at Nottingham University and there was no way on the God’s Clean Earth I was gonna let RC beat me. Not after she dumped me for a twat from Macclesfield called Trevor. Last I heard he’s a Human Rights solicitor.


  1. mandrill says:

    And here was me thinking you were going to launch into a metaphor for something… I wonder what.

  2. RAB says:

    I was rubbish at Basketball too. I could never get the steps thing right.
    I was a demon shooter though! So our team used to just pass me the ball and I’d bung it in from outside the 2 point zone oh 9 times out of 10.

    I was opening bat at cricket and a good fast bowler. Center or wing in Rugby cos I was fast and tricky and so thin there is very little to tackle!
    Oh and golf of course, seeing it was the family obsession. All my uncles and even aunts were single handicappers, and dad was plus two (this means he was penalised to shots before even teed off on the first!)

  3. RAB says:

    Piss! Shit! Fuck!!! Balls!!!!

    Completely off topic, but I just heard that John Martyn is dead.
    Lord the number of times I’ve sat and had a spliff with him!

    Utterly brilliant musician!

    Thanks for everyting John!

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