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Norris the Cat Burglar

dishcloths, dusters, dust mitts, sports bras, support pants, jumpers, T-shirts, boxer shorts, a bath mat, half a pizza, an unopened tube of gravy paste, a German sausage, jumpers, slippers, socks, oven gloves…

No cuddly toy it would appear otherwise that could be the stuff on the conveyor belt of the Albanian edition of  The  Generation Game. It is though amongst the  ill-gotten gains of Norris, a two year old tabby from  Bedminster, Bristol.

The Guardian takes-up the story of his rather light-pawed miscreant and his somewhat disconcerted owners valet and housekeeper…

If the items are too big to bring in through the cat flap at home, Norris leaves them on the mat in the back garden. His owners, Richard and Sophie Windsor, believe that Norris is taking items from washing lines and have now written to their neighbours to apologise.

“Dear neighbours,” their letter says, “This is a slightly embarrassing note to have to write but during his travels throughout the neighbourhood, our cat, Norris, has brought back an assortment of items.

“Unlike most cats, Norris isn’t too interested in the local wildlife but has taken to straight-up theft. In some cases he’s literally been there and got the T-shirt.”

They say it was at first amusing, but “recently his habit has intensified and we now have a growing pile of stolen goods which need returning to you good people of Bedminster.”

***

“If you’ve ‘misplaced’ anything of any monetary value and would like it returned then please give us a nudge on [email] or [telephone number]. We’ll have a dig through his growing hoard and drop them back to you. Apologies if you’ve been affected. Best wishes, Rich and Soph.”

|Richard Windsor, 26, a graphic designer, told the Bristol Post: “So far we have been able to reunite a number of items with their owners including a towel set, some oven gloves, a bath mat, some baby clothes and some running gear.

“Fortunately all our neighbours have been very good-natured about it and think it’s funny.”

Well, my little Timmy hasn’t done anything quite like that yet. His vice is fighting other cats and stealing their food. And he doesn’t fight by the Marquis of Queensbury Rules either. I have seen him leap on some kitty back in his time whilst shrieking like a banshee.

Right little buggers, cats.

 

 

 

10 Comments

  1. Phil B says:

    Once again, I’m reminded of Colonel Jeff Cooper’s comment “There aren’t many problems in the world that can’t be handled by a good man with an accurate rifle”.

    This is one of them.

  2. Paul Marks says:

    I would like to meet Timmy.

  3. John Galt says:

    I’ve met a “Chairman Meeow” a “Lucifer”, a “Gollum” and a “Tiddles”.

    I’ve never met a cat called “Timmy” though, which is a very human name for a cat.

  4. NickM says:

    JG,
    We “inherited” him so to speak from my wife’s Gran when she got Alzheimer’s. Before she had him he was “pre-owned” and called Watson then but Lizzy’s Gran called him Timmy. It doesn’t really suit but we’re all sort of stuck with it.

    Phil,
    that is vile. A cat is not a moral agent.

    Paul,
    Give him a catnip snack and he’s a friend for life (or at least the next half-hour).

  5. Paul Marks says:

    “or at least the next half-hour”.

    A true feline.

  6. RAB says:

    I trained that cat, but the little bugger could never get the last part…

    “Bring the stuff back to the bogus Charity shop I set up in Bedminster High Street” I said, but it’s a skip on legs… always goes home for food first.

  7. About a month after we got our latest two – Siamese sisters – I caught one on the stairs attempting to take a pastry brush I’d left on the counter-top to bed with her. As I retrieved it, her sister passed me doing 80 with…a small paring knife in her mouth, held by the plastic handle!

    Luckily, they are indoor-only cats, or they’d easily beat Norris’ record….

  8. Julie near Chicago says:

    Then there is Neko DevilKitty. His purpose in life is to find all the valuable collectibles in this Earthly Realm and fill his water bowl with them. (Never mind that it is already full of water.)

    As housewives are careful not to run out of staples like flour and sugar, and handihusbands maintain staples such as nails, so DevilKitty’s staple collectible when he can find nothing else interesting is paper. Such as used paper towels or Kleenex, or even notepaper scraps. But he’s always on the lookout for more valuable items, such as my daughter’s cell-phone. Well, it’s nice to know he’s trying to keep his finds clean, I guess. I mean, who wants a dirty cell-phone….

  9. Mr Ed says:

    Siamese seem to be prone to this, a neighbour’s cat, Leo, was an inveterate klepto. I recall reading of one Siamese known to take wallets from houses.

  10. Julie near Chicago says:

    Interestingly enough, Mr Ed, Neko Devilkitty is indeed part Siamese. And one has only to see him to realize that he is the God-Pharoah.

    A sleek and handsome devil, but his heart is as black as his coat.

    (Although he does seem to have given up attacking my poor sweet Lucy for no reason whatsoever.)

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