Counting Cats in Zanzibar Rotating Header Image

Bon Jovi

I always liked Bon Jovi. The “hair-rockers” epitomised the eighties for me in a way professional miserablists such as The Smiths (“Girlfriend in a Coma” anyone?).

Profundity can be about happiness as well you know. I think I got that from reading about Rouseau and him stealing a hobo’s boots. Oh, the deliberate vileness!

Anyway, this is a supercool story.

Can you imagine Mozzer from The Smiths doing that? He’d meditate on the meaningless of being (in his personal case not without reason) then throw a fucking paddy because there were sausage rolls at the finger buffet afters. There are pots that are tossed into but Mozzer tosses into barrels from stratospheric heights without the aid of a Norden sight. He makes Moby look fun to be with. And Moby who is celibate and doesn’t drink, smoke or say cuss words and is into “environmentalism” and all that assorted Stingulent shite.

Is it just me or does the ’80s seem a period of massive optimism? You know like life got better and all that. The ’70s were an unflushable turd in the water pipe (thank you Heath and Wilson – you ineffable brace of cunts) but with Ronnie and Maggie we projed on and it like gets better. My life did anyway.

Oh, they weren’t perfect by any means but there was a “feeling” in the air. A positive feeling. I guess I also felt that in the ’90s too but we were running on fumes then but…

Hell’s teeth…

This is the version of “Livin’ on a Prayer” by some Nana Mamunchkin on Hex factor…

And this is the original…

Please listen to both and tell me which is “half-way there”. Because if you ask me the original is a song of hope and the other is not.

Anyhows, hats off to Jon Bon Jovi for pitching-up for the wedding. Good on you sir!

PS. My wedding anniversary was yesterday and Bez didn’t turn-up. Fortunate really because if he didn’t stop – whilst my wife and I enjoyed dinner at an Italian restaurant – we would have had further hilarity as the A&E team at the MRI attempted to remove a maraca from his arse. But heh! Bez is at least fun unlike certain Manc “musicians” I may have mentioned.

Bez would have been cool. Just like Jon Bon Jovi.

The prognosticators of Doom are not.

Anyway, best of luck to Bon Jovi! Top Marks.

And Yeah, that’s you Blandplay fellow. I don’t care how much the Blanchett -2.0 spent on the kitchen we’re commin’ to ignore ya!

14 Comments

  1. Rob F says:

    i always quite liked Bon Jovi, too – apart from one song. I just can’t listen to ‘The Final Countdown’ without wanting to pour molten wax down my ears. No idea why,…

    Anyone remember a Flock of Seagulls and ‘Wishing’?’. I never did work out what the lead singer did to get his hair that way. Maybe he had an erm…accident in the bathroom, and smeared it on his hair to get it to stick up that way.

    Anyway, I’m off to Youtube to listen to Sigue Sigue Sputnik, and then I’m going to play the Legend of Avalon on an emulator.

    You know you’re getting old when you start getting chronic nostalgia….

  2. NickM says:

    Rob,
    “The Final Countdown” was by Scandy rockers Europe – not the Jovi.

  3. Paul Marks says:

    From Bon Jovi to Brit Hume (for those who do not know of him – think the American Eagle character in the Muppets).

    Mr Hume opposes the Republican resistance – holding that any government shutdown will be blamed on the Republicans (so it is pointless), but he understands WHY people such as Ted Cruz disagree with him.

    And it goes straight to Nick’s point about the “optimistic 80s”.

    To some people the 80s were an illusion – a lot of free market speeches hiding……

    Hiding the “50 year march of the American left”.

    The entitlement programs (the Welfare State) continued to EXPAND in the 1980s.

    Political Correctness (Frankfurt School stuff) continued to strengthen.

    The universities and the schools continued to become MORE leftist.

    The on going collapse of the social capital of civil society continued – with everything from families to religion continuing to collapse to the point where one would end up with just isolated individuals and THE STATE.

    And a lot of the above is true in the United Kingdom as well as the United States – indeed it is true all over the Western World. The “Functional” (to take Mr T. Parson’s word) of the 1950s (hardly a free market place – but wildly closer to it than now) seems like a different planet.

    “The independent, self reliant, socially conservative people of 50 years ago keep getting further and further away – the cultural and political tide continues to flow in the direction of societal collapse and political collectivism, so they [people like Senator Cruz] are willing to try ANYTHING”.

    In “Warhammer Fantasy” terms this might be considered the mental illness of “Desperate and Doomed”.

    However, the threat (and the tide towards it) is real.

    And conventional political tactics (such as winning elections back in the 1980s) have failed.

  4. NickM says:

    Well, the 80s were optimistic. And as to the University stuff. You study stuff other than STEM what the fuck do you expect? I learned maths, physics and astronomy at university. So you did something under the remit of “social sciences” – whaddya expect? I went to learn Maxwell’s equations, drinking beer, playing 5-aside and copping off with girls in that approx order. Politricks – fuck it! My UCCA guide pointed out (rather pejoratively) was that Nottingham was like the least political campus in the country. Suited me. I was there for Quantum Mechanics, beer and minge. All of which I got.

  5. Sam Duncan says:

    Yep, the ’80s were awesome. We started as the Sick Man of Europe, and ended up with loadsamoney and the USSR on the ropes. Plus Ferris Bueller, Back to the Future, Ghostbusters, The A-Team, Moonlighting, and countless 8-bit videogames. It hardly gets any better than that.

    ‘Course, I realise I now sound like those twats who kept banging on about the ’60s back then, while much of the boom was the usual inflationary illusion and I’m increasingly convinced the fall of the Soviet Empire was a deliberate blind, but hey… it was fun while it lasted.

    As to the Smiffs, I don’t know how Johnny Marr stuck it for as long as he did. I’d take Electronic over Morrissey any day of the week. Seriously.

  6. NickM says:

    Sam, I found a load of Speccy games on tape (and some on microdrive!!!) in the cupboard recently. I wanna sell ‘em. Any ideas how to price? They seem to be going at c.GBP3 a shot which is like what I paid for them. My version of Elite mind is water damaged and beyond the pale even though it came with Lenslok.

    But yeah, the ’80s were like cool. A few years back I got an Atari thingie that patched into the telly and I could play Warlords. Ace.

  7. NickM says:

    I have only once been beaten at Warlords and I was very, very drunk.

  8. RAB says:

    On a purely musical note for now… I have said before that Morrissey always sounded like he was trying to pack 10 minutes of inane lyrics into 3 minutes of music, and yes Sam, how Marr put up with it for so long I will never know.

    As for Moby… don’t you all just itch to complete it with… Dick?

  9. NickM says:

    RAB you know me. The itch to add the “dick” to Moby almost cost me my hair.

  10. RAB says:

    Oh and hell, Happy Anniversary by the way. Love to Lizzie.

    Just been talking to the Luddite Hippie of La Honda on the phone earlier. He’ll be over at the end of the month. Haven’t seen him eyeball to eyeball for 8 years. We have been friends since age 11. He always thanks Ness for looking after me when we chat on the phone. And she certainly does. When you find a good ‘un stick close. The LHOLH has not been so lucky himself. Make sure you are my friend. ;-)

  11. From a British perspective the 20s were not bad – the 1820s.

    A massive reduction of taxes and government spending (and regulations) in the 1820s.

    The 60s were not bad either – as long as one means the 1860s. They were a real nice time in France as well – indeed the “Liberal Empire” of the 1860s is the least statist France has ever been.

    The 1950s were not bad either – a massive reduction of statism in Britain between 1950 and 1960.

    The 1980s?

    Well there was real privatisation – in Britain (not the United States).

    And government spending (as a proportion of GDP) was lower in 1990 than it had been in 1980 (or in 1979) that was NOT true in the United States.

    So, whilst there was a dark side (a very dark side) to the 1980s in Britain – one can just say that it was an “illusion” as Brit Hume (rightly) says that real free market people hold the 1980s in the United States to have been.

    There were good things in the 1980s in America – for example the reduction of the top rate of income tax from 70% to 28% (that is not to be discounted) and the freeing of radio (in Britain there is not a single talk radio station I can listen to – there are many American ones).

    But overall the left marched on in America – the United States of 1990 was further to the left than the United States of 1980.

  12. Sam Duncan says:

    Nick: To be honest, I don’t really know. I’ve never sold any of mine. :) I suspect £3 each is about right, bit your best bet’s probably to bung ‘em on eBay and cross your fingers. Sometimes you get an idiot who’s prepared to bid £20 for the Horizons tape that came with every Speccy (causing hilarity/outrage on the forums). It’s worth a punt.

    One thing I should ask on behalf of World of Spectrum is that you check their archive to make sure you don’t have anything that’s missing. Some games – Ultimate’s and Codemasters’ are the most notable – have been pulled for legal reasons, but I know they’d really appreciate any filling in of legitimate blanks. It’s unlikely, but you never know.

  13. NickM says:

    Cheers Sam,
    I ain’t got much Ultimate or Codemasters. I do also have a set of prints of Scotland, a ton of Hornby train stuff and quite bizarrely about 40 sets of US Army WWII cutlery which is apperantly quite collectable. Yes, eBay is my friend.

  14. [...] Bon Jovi – Counting Cats in Zanzibar ArchiveLADY GAGA HAMBURG 2014 Advices [...]

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: