#2 – Facebook
I don’t have a problem with Facebook per-se. But I do have a specific issue.
Now consider my situation. I am 40 and lots of people I was at school with try and get in touch via Facebook. Now leaving aside the fact we largely haven’t seen each other in 20 years – leaving that aside for good reason what I despise about Facebook can be summed-up in a simple question, “How the fuck do you know who it is?”. Seriously. There are three mammoth probs here (all related).
First. The piccies are passport size – titchy. This is not easy if you ain’t seen the bugger for twenty years. One fella on my Facebook is bald as a coot but he wasn’t when I used to have a pint with him when we were 19. He also clearly took his avatar from the Skype-cam on his lappy in very poor lighting. Fortunately he has a moderately unusual name and no kids.
So why does those things matter? Because it is vastly easier to clock whether a Facebooker is the first person you ever properly kissed if they are a bloke and are therefore vastly less likely to have changed their name due to marriage(s) – alas due to my general heterosexuality this does not apply to me.
This happened to me a couple of years ago. J poked me. Right, I hadn’t seen here since we got our A-Level results in 1992, second, she had changed her hair-style (probs several times being a girl and all that), thirdly she had a scanned passport photo as an avatar but finally she’d got married and changed her surname yet (of course) kept her first name which should have been handy if it wasn’t a very common name.
So I replied to her poke (which is rude anyway) and she got very snotty with me when I asked if she was the same J from my class at school. Very snotty. Well, I’ve kissed girls from multiple continents since and she was nowt special. But what really annoyed me was she seemed to think I should automatically recognise someone I hadn’t seen for 20 years and only snogged once in 1988 as the result of a game of “spin the bottle”. And she was a Brosette at the time (note my point on hair).
There is another thing though. Apart from dreadful images (they don’t help) for obvious reasons (being 40 and all) a large number of folks I was at school with are married with kids. Now I mentioned the surname change but a hubby and kids? Look, nowt against it but within the space of a Facebook piccie 5 people and a dog and a changed surname means it could be anyone.
It narks me.