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Crikes oh Lor! A good news Health story.

Almost inevitably it is… Experts warn… Scientists warn… Uncle Tom Cobbley and his Nanny warns, but this one is different, it modestly celebrates the raising of the wrist.

We tipplers have always known that the safe Units crap was made up on the back of an envelope, much like that secondary smoke will laser its way through walls and kill entire families while they sleep, especially the Cheeeldren!

And on the cure for a cold being alcohol (with a little bit of spicy help), I can concur…

Many years ago the Gay Buddhist, my wife and I were working our way down a bottle of Tequila. I had a  stinking cold, and I mean really stinking , coughing up stuff that looked like well masticated Pistachios. Ness curled up and went to sleep, but the GB and I decided to go out for a curry, Cardiff Curry houses staying open till 3 in the morning in those days.

We both had a Vindaloo, and mine was so goddam hot my eyeballs were sweating. Then we went back to the flat and polished off the rest of the Tequila. The next day I woke up and the cold had completely gone.

So raise your glasses ladies and gentlemen…


  1. Fred Thrung says:

    OK. I’ll bite first. Correlation/causation. There y’go.

  2. Mr Ed says:

    Phlegm might indicate a bacterial infection secondary to a cold. Sweating from curry and consequent fever can hinder growth of infecting bacteria and gives the body more time between cell division, impair virus reproductn and improve the immune system operation.

    Fever is good in many cases as part of the defence against infection.

  3. Flaxen Saxon says:

    Indeed Rab. I contend that in your case the alcohol acted as a viracide. As you are surely aware, the common cold virus is particularly intractable to treatment. I think your serendipity will serve you well in the financial department. May I suggest you market the elixir as ‘Tequilacyclovir.’ Trips off the tongue, doesn’t it? I think retail should be in the region of $100 per ml. Thus a standard bottle of Tequilacycovir would sell for $100,000 at the local Pharmacy. You really need to ally yourself with a marketing genius such as myself. My cut of the proceeds would be a modest 51%. Furthermore, I suggest that for a particularly bad head cold, Tequilacyclovir should be liberally imbibed twice a day (hic).

  4. Mr Ed says:

    F S Every drug must have a ‘z’ in it, failing that an ‘x’, otherwise a great idea. Perhaps adding ‘Quetzalcoatl’ or ‘axolotl’ will enhance the brand, and get the New Age quack market, until the ‘Columbus stole our IP’ crowd catch up.

  5. Tim Newman says:

    I remember one New Year’s Eve in Russia when I had a stinking cold. That night I drank an incredible amount of vodka, some of it homemade, and had to be carried home. The next day my cold had disappeared.

  6. Flaxen Saxon says:

    Tim Newman you are supplying the anecdotal evidence every good marketing man must have. Mr Ed, I totally agree. I’ll cut you in for 10%. Please don’t tell RAB.

  7. Yes RAB – strong spices and hard booze. If it does not kill you, it will cure you.

    Always worth a try – when all else has failed.

  8. NickM says:

    I once felt dreadful with a cold but had a date planned. Well, my mate concocted something (this was about 18 years ago so I no longer know exactly what it was) but it was a kind of modified mulled wine type thing. Within 10 minutes I felt like I could have charged Pelennor Fields in the first Éored.

  9. John Galt says:

    Sorry guys, but you’re all wrong.

    The cure for a common cold is half a bottle of Drambuie and a coelacanth steak with chips. Works every time.

  10. Flaxen Saxon says:

    Can you still get coelacanth steaks these days? I tried to order one in a chippy in Tipton and they told me to bugger off.

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