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Sir! Sir! Clarkson said a bad word, Sir!

Jeremy Clarkson, the celebrated oaf, is in a bit of bother with those guardians of moral rectitude, the Daily Mirror:

The Mirror claims that the Top Gear presenter was reciting a rhyme while in front of cameras, during which he allegedly said, “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…” before mumbling: “Catch a n****r by his toe”.

The bastard. Reciting childrens’ rhymes without the currently approved Bowdlerizations is it, now? The man’s a menace to society.

We used that rhyme all the time as kids, and didn’t even know what the word meant. It was just the thing you caught by the toe, and let go in the event of squealing. (I had a vague idea that it was a small furry animal something like like a badger, myself. Do badgers squeal? Never mind.) Guess I’ll never work for the BBC, then (yeah, that’ll keep me awake at night):

Lawyer Lawrence Davies told reporters: “Clarkson has to be sacked, no matter how much money he makes for the BBC. Use of that word is not acceptable.”

Oh, obviously. Totally proportionate response. I mean, he might say “fuck” or “cunt” next. Or is that allowed now? Anyway, he’s clearly an irredeemable hatey xenophobe racist hatemonger. If he isn’t stopped now, before you know it he’ll be mowing down crowds of black people in a McLaren P1 with the Confederate flag painted on its roof on live TV, while laughing maniacally. Stands to reason.

The Mirror says that it hired a firm of audio forensic experts to analyse the clip. They confirmed that the n-word was indeed used by Clarkson.
An investigator working for CY4OR…

…blah, blah, blah. Oh, and by the way, don’t forget to pay your TV licence or the BBC will send the lads round.

I don’t know. Clarkson may be the BBC’s token “right-winger”, but he’s still an arse; the Mirror’s just the Sun without the tits (and it wasn’t Murdoch who nicked his employees’ pensions then took a header of his yacht when the net began to close in), and the BBC’s a protection racket disguised as a TV company. Sometimes I wish they’d just all go away and leave us in peace.


  1. John Galt says:

    Fundamentally, the question is “Is Clarkson a racist?” and the answer is no, he’s an ego-centric narcissist who uses such stunts to keep his profile up amongst the blokes (in their tens-of-millions worldwide), who enjoy his childish antics.

    A good bell-weather against the neo-puritans who would have us serfs “know our place”.

  2. RAB says:

    The Mirror says that it hired a firm of audio forensic experts to analyse the clip.

    Um if you go to such enormous lengths to try to prove that something that cannot be properly heard, remained on the cutting room floor and was never broadcast anyway, then may I suggest that it the Mirror that is the problem, not Clarkson.

  3. Paul Marks says:

    Good post.

  4. Lynne at Counting Cats says:

    The Daily Meager? As slimy and loathsome as ever it seems.

  5. NickM says:

    In the mid 90s the State of Georgia (Atlanta, not Tbilisi) uttered an edict that banned the Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn books from public schools and libraries over the use of the Word of Power that must never be said. Quite how you write an even vaguely realistic account of the antebellum South without using the word “nigger” is beyond me. I mean a key point in the later novel is Huck talking about his scumbag white father who is voting (and very drunk) going on about “niggers” and how he is better than them. He can scarcely put one foot in front of the other coherently. It is brilliant. You wanna book contra racism then Huck Finn is your number.

    Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
    ― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huck Finn

  6. XX The bastard. Reciting childrens’ rhymes without the currently approved Bowdlerizations is it, now? The man’s a menace to society.XX

    Notice you chose to censor the word nigger yourself though.

    Hows that for two faced?

  7. RAB says:

    It isn’t just post ironic but past ironic that black characters in Spike Lee films use the N word every other sentence. Do you think da brothers are just trying to wind Whitey up?

  8. Sam Duncan says:

    “Notice you chose to censor the word nigger yourself though.”

    No, Breitbart did. I just cut-and-pasted. You have a point though. Maybe I should have un-censored it, but then it wouldn’t have been a direct quote.

  9. Sam Duncan says:

    Wait, scratch that. I’m not saying that it isn’t an offensive word to many people. Yes, I used it as a child when I didn’t know what it meant, but today I’m more circumspect. I’m not afraid of it, but it’s not a word I use habitually, and I would certainly be careful about what company I said it in. As, I’m sure, would Jeremy Clarkson. I’m quite certain he wouldn’t, for example, introduce Lewis Hamilton as a guest on Top Gear with it.

    My beef is with the manufactured outrage over an indistinct, muttered, utterance of it that wasn’t even meant for broadcast; the idea that it, like the name of God for the Jews, has such evil power that must never be said. That’s madness.

  10. Sam Duncan says:

    “like the name of God for the Jews, has such evil power”

    Argh. That’s not what I meant. It is supposed to have evil power. The name of God doesn’t. Just to be clear.

  11. John Galt says:

    Sam, we’re not children and it’s just a word. I personally don’t use it because it is inappropriate and those to whom it is usually addressed find it offensive. Fair enough.

    But to my mind those who stand against censorship must prevail against those who take offence.

    Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
    Catch a nigger by the toe.
    If he hollers, let him go,
    Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

  12. Sam Duncan says:

    Yep, I won’t argue with that, John.

  13. John Galt says:

    Hashem is listening :-)

  14. john malpas says:

    It is odd how immediate loss of employment is demanded by the righteous as a penalty if they feel offended.
    Nobody demands flogging or such like as in the good old days.

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