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So that’s why we’re out already!

President Barack Obama, mistaken for England football defender Chris Smalling

Fuck me! even our Spivs are bleedin useless.


  1. Paul Marks says:

    Rab – what is a good Welshman like yourself doing writing about Association Football?

    You know it has the wrong shaped ball.

    As for dear old Barack…..

    It amuses me when he tries to talk about American culture (Baseball, American Football and so on) it is so obviously false (he clearly knows nothing about the United States – in spite of being President of the place), that it does not anger me – it is just too funny.

    He does not come from Kenya – he comes from Planet Frankfurt School Academia (which is far more alien).

  2. Sam Duncan says:

    Heh. Reminds me of Ashley Giles, the King of Spain.

    (A few years back, Warwickshire Cricket Club ordered a batch of mugs honouring Giles, their star left-arm spin bowler, “the King of Spin”. The manufacturer had other ideas, elevating him to the Spanish throne. The mugs sold like hot cakes, and the name stuck.)

  3. RAB says:


    Ness and I were in Lynmouth a few years ago. Pleasant little resort, looking round the tourist shops when we came across one selling big wooden painted sculptures of Indian chiefs, Puritans carrying blunderbusses and various ducks etc You all must have seen similar.

    Anyway there was no-one else in the shop so we got talking to the owner. “Where do you get your stock from?” I asked. “Oh I go to Thailand twice a year and fill a couple of containers with the stuff and have it shipped over. They are very obliging out there. Course it can all go horribly wrong sometimes” he said. “Last trip I gave them a picture of a Swan and asked if they could make one. No problem they said. Come and look at what I got back”…

    So we stepped into the back storeroom and there, three times life size, was this Swan, except that it was painted like a Mallard. The Thais had never seen a swan before, and assumed it had to be coloured.

  4. NickM says:

    I want a blunderbuss. My wife objects because she claims to think it is a hideous weapon. Well that is why I want it. I am, as they say, only aimin’ for the maimin’ I am not a violent man. I am not a nasty or petty man there are times when it comes to lock and load and shoot. I spend so much time around Quakers who believe that if we outlaw guns (and stuff) every day will be.the first day of Spring. Utter shit. I was once in A&E (ER to statesiders) because some scrote broke my ribs. I am fairly sure I would have shot the scrote but I was unarmed. He wasn’t armed. He hit me in the chest with a large chunk of earth and rock (which obviously can’t be banned) but he had his mates and he knew what he was doing. One of his pals belted my wife in the nose which required surgery. Ever had broken ribs? It’s not nice. You can rest a broken limb. You can’t with ribs. Every breath of life is agony but what is the alternative? Reasonable folk like me having a Glock. Either this gang of fuckers wouldn’t have tried or if I’d double-tapped the ring-leader they wouldn’t do it again. I have to say I admire their tactics. They used their numbers and mobility (one had a scooter). I have less positive things to say about their morality. The attack seemed utterly motiveless. I mean at some level I could understand theft or something.

  5. Julie near Chicago says:

    Nick. To be in a country that effectively prohibits “RKBA” — the Right to Keep and Bear Arms — uninfringed — or that is far down that road, with or without benefit of statute law* — is to be in a country that is to put it frankly uncivilized.

    In a country where there’s such a thing as civility, and yes I do mean it as the Best of the Western-type societies practice it (more-or-less at least), no one minds if you KBA. And if the society isn’t civil, you need to KBA.

    *When cops show up at the wrong house in the dark of the night, barge in without a word, and shoot some poor old coot or poor old bag who was in fear of his or life and hence attempting to get off the odd shot — that’s a miscarriage of justice but in that case the right of the newly-but-only-briefly wakened of self-defense is non-existent unless the cops involved can be punished for, at a minimum, incompetence. It’s tough because I know a lot of those guys do have their lives on the line day-to-day, but they made the mistake — the wrong house AND “going off half-cocked” — and should pay the consequences.

    And it should be possible to sue the PD.

    Oh dear, I’m working up to a rant.

    It IS true that police malpractice is sometimes punished. That should not go unsaid.

    I am sorry you and the Missus were subjected to that. And furious that you couldn’t be allowed to defend yourselves.

  6. Roue le Jour says:

    Some Dibbler has bought a load of rejects cheap and is unloading them on unsuspecting punters. Makes me kinda proud, really.

    See previous comment re: Mail.

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