I first saw the USA in December 1996. The immigration officer asked is this your girlfriend or your girlfriend you’re visiting which after Newcastle-Amsterdam-Atlanta was a subtlety lost on me. All I wanted to do at that point was die in a soft bed after having a smoke.
Well when that nonsense was over it was about 3pm in Atlanta and I poured my jet-lagged remnants into the Honda Accord and we went to her Dad’s house. And he greated me with a bottle of “Nukey Brown” which was great because his girlf was mainlining Bud Light which is the end product of Satan’s kidney machine.
I loved America from the start. It was just so goddamn American. That trip (it was quite extended hence the agro at immigration) saw us put 4,000 miles on that Accord and “do” the South East from New Orleans to Miami. I loved that. That was ace. I even got a (rather good) hand-job in the car-park of the rocket garden at Cape Canaveral. It would have been a blow-job but we were trying to be discreet and there were kids about.
I have been back to the USA of course because it’s ace. I know loads of folks who haven’t. Why?
“I have been back to the USA of course because it’s ace. I know loads of folks who haven’t. Why? ”
- cost
- TSA
I’ve been to the US some half a dozen time over the last decade, but won’t go again until the TSA stops harassing single white men because looking weird at Arabic men is racial profiling.
And of course because the cost is often prohibitive.
I think it’s because there are lots of us here who had a genuine affection for Bud Lite.
Bud Light is excellent stuff for training toddlers to drink properly.
JTW,
Last time I was with my wife on honeymoon and was treated by the TSA like utter scum. Got to hand it to the USA - as a way of employing folks who couldn’t get a job any other way the TSA is a blinder. I’m sure high school careers lessons have new questions… Bit of a git? Needlessly suspicious about everyone?* Enjoy x-raying shoes? Come join the TSA!
WS,
Surely you jest! I used to drink American lager but now I am older Budweiser. Dunno about you lot but we can get proper Czech Pilsner over here. Not some half-assed version with rice in it. The Cold War cost 50 trillion USD and I reckon it was worth it. Well that and millions of folks not living under the deranged tyranny of the Soviets. That’s also a bonus. We thank you for pitching-up for that one and doing the heavy lifting but hell’s teeth… The US does though boast many fine micro-breweries and such and a fine beer can be had but Bud is swill. My sister-in-law’s Silesian boyf would consider it heretical.
*The most tragic sight I ever saw was a dad taking the little NIkes and baseball jacket off his toddler kid at Ft Lauderdale AP. It was just so lovingly well done and lacked any drama. It was just so accepting of the whole thing. Yeah, I understand he didn’t need more hassle but it struck me. It struck me because watching it made me realize this was now normal.
[...] May, 2009 by landedunderclass Nick M, at Counting Cats, on the [...]
My own experiences with the TSA haven’t been too bad, but I’ve heard quite a lot about the hassles they inflict on people.
Now, immigration and customs — when I came back to the US from Ukraine in 2007, it was rather noticeable that they were rather less polite and much more suspicious than their Ukrainian counterparts had been when I had arrived in Kiev — even though I’m American.
One never gets a second chance to make a first impression, and unfortunately our airport checkpint people are giving many a bad first impression of the US.
The pleasantest immigration-and-customs experience I’ve had was actually in Japan, though I’d been told to expect the worst.
Nick, glad you liked it here. Ever been to the northwest?
Never bee to the NW. Most of my USing has been the opposite corner. But I hear you got some cool stuff up there.
One of the coolest things I ever saw was a Jeep. Hardly surprising in itself except this Jeep was on Key West and had Alaska plates. Now that’s a road-trip.
Well I’m in Turkey for a couple of weeks on and all inclusive food and drink deal.
Alchohol on tap at ant hour of the day or night, as long as it is the local version of gin, vodka, beer etc.
But if you want a Miller or a Bud, it’s 9 lira (about four pounds english)
You have got to be out of your mind to buy a Bud when you can get an endless supply of Effes free! It’s much tastier beer too!
Ha ! I’ve got free internet access too!
Who’s a lucky boy then?