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Where Elvis Currently Works…

Bloody hellskis! That’s one hell of a burger. It looks like they took a Scooby Doo Sandwich and deep-fried it.

To be honest that’s not at all my kinda eating but… I wouldn’t mind the table service. We Brits tend to think of the “sexy nurse” as dear old Babs Windsor in a Carry On movie with Jim Dale crashing through her window into her bath as the result of an ever so amusing comedic misunderstanding. Not anymore.

Whilst I have no particular desire to eat the Burj Dubai of Burgers I do appreciate the sentiment. Hotties in hotpants serving 8000 calorie sandwiches is the sort of thing to drive The Righteous up the fecking wall, over the ceiling and out the door. The only thing that could make that restaurant better is if they refused service to anyone who didn’t enter with a loaded weapon.

Actually I would like to eat there. I’d take “Doctor” Gillian McKeith on a date there. The faux-qualified*, hatchet-faced, former Channel 4 Quinoa-monger and stool-sniffing witch would have a heart attack. To get rid of that shrill, half-witted, semi-deranged bitch for good would be service to the world for which I would be prepared to have a veritable surfeit. And if I could similarly do in whoever at that TV station who commisioned Ms McKeith to humiliate salad dodgers, sniff their ordure with histrionic disgust (deep down I suspect she is into the sin of Oaten which involves the spilling of something other than seed, preferably by a Bulgarian rent-boy**) and then put them on a diet that looked like it was swept from a rabbit-hutch and call it prime-time TV then it would be high-fives all round. Friends it certainly ain’t.

H/T for the Vid to Alisa in Wonderland. Right at the top of the Blogroll.

*In 1994, she obtained a master’s degree, and in 1997, a PhD, both in holistic nutrition via a distance-learning programme from the non-accredited American Holistic College of Nutrition, now the Clayton College of Natural Health in Birmingham, Alabama. – Wikipedia
**Allegedly. It might have been a Polish rent-boy as though that would have been a mitigation.

2 Comments

  1. Mummy x says:

    I think all female MP’s caught with their hands in the till should be made to work there for 1 month as punishment. They should do it for free, whilst paying their own accomodation, food and travel expenses. I know it wouldn’t be easy on the eye but hell, it would be funny as fuck watching the likes of JaqBoots, Hattie Harmperson, Julie (I’m just a poor working mum) Kirkbride and the GingerMidget ponce around in hotpants doing an honest (8 hour) days work for the first time in their entire existence.

    Mummy x

    p.s Apologies to all those men out there, sorry if I have given you nightmares.

  2. JuliaM says:

    “The faux-qualified*, hatchet-faced, former Channel 4 Quinoa-monger and stool-sniffing witch would have a heart attack. “

    I’m not entirely sure that’s an organ she possesses, franky…

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