I don’t really give a toss about the Beckhams. Alas that’s probably the most hurtful thing it’s possible to say about Britain’s premier celebratory couple*. I don’t mean it that way - I just don’t care.
But on this issue I’m right behind them. The Beckhams are right and the Monks are utterly deranged. I bet you never thought you’d see that line in print, eh? Dippy spiritual beliefs are one thing. Dying of malaria is quite another.
This comes hot on the heels of the latest idiocy from PETA. Yes, they sent the Obamessiah, Smiter of Flies, a “humane bug-catcher”. I assume you catch the bug and release it “somewhere into the wild”.
What part of dangerous vermin do these people not get? I mean it must be a terrible thing for genocidal maniacs of even Hitlerian standards to reflect upon in the late watches of the night that however big their armies and death camps they’ll never manage to kill as many people as the bugs have done.
On a not entirely unrelated note I had BBC News24 on in the background a few days ago whilst every fifteen minutes they showed The One swat a fly. The presenters were amused and adulating (he can swat a fly! Think what he’ll do to Al Quaeda!). As this was going on there was all hell breaking out in Iran and quite correctly that got no mention. It’s times like that I feel the license fee is such brilliant value for money because only the BBC (due to the unique way it’s funded) could show such editorial acuity and bring us the news that really mattered. Yup, there are times when “man swats fly” is so much more important than “hundreds of thousands demonstrate against a corrupt theocracy” and this was such a time. Children as yet unborn shall always remember where they were when The One slew the vile Musca domesticus with his bare hands and the sideshow in Tehran will be a mere footnote to His divine progress. Next week He shall perform the miracle of removing the quite large spider from the bath with an empty jar and a piece of card. And great shall be the rejoicing of Michelle and it shall ring out unto every nation!
For He has come amongst us and verily He canst deal with minor bug annoyances!
*Certainly since Pete and Katie split (still all over the tabloids) and Jade became an “angel”. Is Jack back in clink yet?.
Talking of PETA, I saw a picture of a very fit bird in a red beret and two cross cartridge belts, but instead of cartridges, hers had carrots in them.
Guess who the wonderfully ethical PETA(mustn’t harm a fly, or else!) have got in to a spot of PR for them?
None other than Che Guivaras grand-daughter!
Meat is murder, but being associated with the offspring of a mass murdering mad Dictators assistant , is apparently hunky Dory!
But who’s thinking of the rights of vegetables? Those carrots must have been forcibly separated from their friends and family. Just because carrots don’t move and don’t have brains doesn’t mean that they don’t have feelings.
In fact, let’s call carrots and other vegetables Allotment Kittens! That should raise public awareness of this vitally important issue…
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I was on Koh Samui recently. Our resort had zero bugs. Step outside without repellent and you’d be instantly eaten alive, not to mention dive bombed by giant beetles driven mad by electric lights. I don’t know what the resort was doing but it probably involved nasty chemicals. No irate monks in sight. I suspect someone has drummed this story up because it’s the Beckhams.