This morning I walked into the doctor’s gaff – it’s just down the road – and told them I want to deregister. I was asked to which practice I was transferring to. I told them none. You should have seen the faces of the three witches behind the desk at that point. They deemed it unpossible but eventually agreed to put a note on my records that I wanted no more to do with them. They seemed to think it might be because I was getting too many letters from them. As I have no chronic conditions and am unlikely (I say “unlikely” because this is the NHS where anything farcical is possible) to be called in for a cervical smear I thought that somewhat odd.
It isn’t the letters I neither need nor get that beckoned me to this tumult in the reception area. I had just had a vicarious sickener yesterday which broke the neck of the cameleopard.
I am, I think, still technically registered. I was told if I was rushed to hospital and wasn’t registered there would be a problem. I replied that I would rather die face down in a gutter than have anything more to do with the NHS. I was very polite and thanked the weird sisters for adding that note. It was a start at least…
What I want is my full medical records so I can use them as tinder for the bonfire and full deregistration from the NHS. Is this possible? Any ideas how that can be done? (My particular area of computational astrophysical fluid dynamics was nuclear combustion so I can manage the bonfire – as long as it isn’t absolutely pissing down).
If it is not possible then we are a totalitarian state and therefore I don’t care a monkey’s chuff for the tender ministrations of the NHS any more than a Jew cared for those of Mengele. I know that was hyperbolic but the difference is a quantative rather than qualitative.
The three witches did though suggest that I would become King of Scotland. So was Idi Amin so fuck that for a game of cribbage which is a game I only ever played once and didn’t much care for.
I’m opting out of the NHS. After I was told this was not possible that only made me doubly quit.
And if this makes me seem like a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest against a porcupine then so fucking be it.