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Brown Barking Mad – Official

What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

- J Danforth Quayle.

Well Our Own Dear Leader has clearly lost his…

In a BBC Radio Four interview at the Labour conference in Brighton, the Prime Minister accepted that the Conservatives are the clear favourites to win the general election next year, but insisted he can still win over the “mainstream middle” of Britain.

Admitting the odds are against him and his party, he said: “I accept we are the insurgents, we are not the incumbents.”

Win over mainstream Britain? The deranged fucker has just had the Sun come out in favour of the Tories. Now I’m open to two theories. Brown has just lost the plot completely and this is like watching King Lear withouth the poetry of Shakespeare or that Lord Voldemorte has finally put the big ju-ju on Gordon. In either case, what the hell was that about insurgents? Aren’t the British Army fighting them tooth and claw in the ‘stan right now? It gives me an idea…

When it was put to him that it will be hard for Labour to win the election, Mr Brown replied: “Everything has been hard. My life has been about fighting against difficulties that sometimes appear insuperable.”

Primarily that has been his clearly failing struggle with reality.

He said: “Sun readers, when they get a chance to hear what we are saying on anti-social behaviour, on cancer, they will see that this is very much in line with the mainstream middle of this country.”

In a coded attack on the public life and privileged background of David Cameron, the Tory leader, Mr Brown depicted himself as humble, simple man. He said: “I am as open and honest as possible. I don’t parade my family around the place. I came from a pretty ordinary background in Scotland.”

So he’s now going to cure cancer? By next May? Well I guess Al Gore invented the internet in a weekend. The UK has cancer survival rates on a par with much poorer Poland. And yes, that after twelve years of Labour “investment” in the NHS. Don’t get sick in Britain because it might well kill you and I’m not just talking about the disease. As to Mr Brown or Mr Cameron’s background. I do not give a toss. I’ll give him this though. He is a simple man though not in the sense he means. I have met more sophisticated economic minds running whelk stalls.

In a BBC television interview, Mr Brown said that his economic policies have not yet paid off, but when they do, Labour’s position will improve. “When people see that the action we took, which was quite unique, they will be able to see results.”

Yes, Gordon, that shall come to pass. I do like “quite unique” though… Yes, it was and it was for a reason. Unlike say France or Germany we don’t have a Maximum Leader who is quite uniquely deranged. That is no endorsement of the Sarcophagus or the Merkin, mind. They are just not as catastrophically destructive to their nations. And the whole tone of that paragraph is “Yeah, I know the last ten racing tips I gave you were disasters but…”

There was some stuff about MPs expenses but that has been done to death.

They formed a significant part of measures laid out by Mr Brown that will be the basis of Labour’s election platform next year, including new laws covering anti-social behaviour, teenage pregnancies and elderly care.

A National Care Service will be established to give free care at home to patients suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Teenage single mothers will be placed in shared hostels where they will be monitored by social workers, he announced.

How the fuck (if you will pardon the word) do you legislate against teens getting jiggy? The National Care Service sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. My Gran had Alzheimer’s and care was provided by charities and the local council and and from my parent’s wallets and very good it was too. And imprisoning teenagers who have given birth? What is this 1920? “Monitored by social workers”. Yeah, that’s gonna work. And in any case it would be fair to say the horse has not just bolted by that point but is over the hills and far away.

In a move that is likely to antagonise many middle-income families, he proposed the abolition of tax relief on child care places to pay for free nursery places for the children of 250,000 parents from poorer backgrounds.

Hold on… Didn’t he talk about winning the “mainstream middle of the country” not long since? Has he gone completely hatstand? I mean is there a protocol to relieve a Prime Mentalist of power via a couple of doctors in high standing in the Royal College of Trick Cyclists to pronounce him barking mad and send for men in white coats with a bottomless van? There should be and we should long ago sent for the Freud Squad on this one.

It goes on but frankly I am losing the will to live. Read it all here, if you dare.

In conclusion New Labour are going to get a profound polling at the polls and there is nothing God, Mandelson or Polly can do about it. This Kitty Kounter shall have to sharpen his claws to take on the Cameronites. That is good because the current lot are not even fish to shoot in a barrel but dead turbots floating on the surface.

2 Comments

  1. bgc says:

    “I accept we are the insurgents, we are not the incumbents.”

    Eh? Isn’t the PM pretty much by definition the incumbent?

  2. RAB says:

    Use insurgents in a Sentence
    See web results for insurgents
    See image