Lost Post

No, not the Royal Fail! Not this time…

I was going to post on the government’s plans for “sex and relationships education” and go through this article with a fine tooth-comb. Alas, that would mean chaining myself to a keyboard ’til Tuesday. So just read it yourself but indulge me with the highlights which would have stood out like pearls within a spiralling out of control blogopotamus…

First, “relationships” - or as they are otherwise known things that happen between people that are none of the government’s business.

Secondly, this is all the idea of the Secretary of State for “children, families and schools” which is retch-inducing in itself but has a certain amusement once one realizes this gentleman is called Edward Balls. I can hear the ghostly laughter of Sid James as I type.

Thirdly, state-funded faith schools will have to teach the full curriculum including same-sex realtionships, contraception, dogging and God knows what else but they can do so within the “ethos of their faith”. “Now, you know what a homosexual is children, let’s go out and hang a few!”, “This is how a condom works, now don’t use them!”, “Now you know what to do, don’t do it!”. It is situations like this that prompt the use of the phrase, “a right bugger’s muddle”. Did any of the Sir Humph’s think this through at all? What a bloody mess.

Fourthly, this is going to be mandatory ’till age 15. Dunno about you lot but I’d pretty much figured out the mechanics of what goes where by that point. So what’s the point?

Fifthly, I will bet dollars to doughnuts that hidden amonst the undoubtedly labyrinthine text of this bill (or whatever it is) are some subtle (and not so subtle) rules which are aimed at further hammering home-schooling.

And finally, on a lighter note… The Catholics have a bee in their bonnets over depriving parents of the right of withdrawal…