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More Credible Predictions

I did see this one some time ago. Apparently oblivious to the recent total annihilation of scientific credibility on climate predictions, New Scientist has hired a Tarot card reader to foretell the doom of the polar bears. Yes, a Tarot card reader. An actual, card-carrying Tarot card reader.

Like other practitioners, I was always praying that one card would not appear. It shows a grinning skeleton carrying a giant scythe standing above a field littered with severed heads. It is card number 13, Death, and few customers reward you generously after they encounter it.

I don’t know. Al Gore does rather well out of it.

Although I know the card well, I was still surprised when an image of it popped into my mind out on the Arctic seas, in the middle of a large field of broken ice floes some 1200 kilometres from the North Pole.

You’re stranded in a freezing Arctic wasteland thousands of miles from anywhere being hunted by polar bears and you’re surprised to see a grinning skeleton carrying a scythe? Well, yes, I suppose so.

The obligatory lecture on the inevitable doom of the polar bears follows. But polar bears are not the only animals spotted.

For a brief moment, three improbably long spiral horns broke through the water and waved above the sea like magic wands.

Magic wands. Right. And we all know exactly what those look like.

But on a brief positive note, we are reminded that species come and go, and that even their eco-catastrophe will not be the end for mother nature. Polar bears will be replaced by killer whales. I guess the killer whales will be crossing his palm with silver, for such a good fortune telling.

However, at the end we learn the Tarot symbol for all those naysayers who doubt the coming Ecopalyse. That sinister symbol for “blind abandonment to self-destructive materialism.” And I think there must be something in it – because I see the same symbol in the sidebar to this blog! Spooky!

8 Comments

  1. RAB says:

    Well the big mistake he made was to use the old 15th century pack!

    Now had he used the new AGW Tarot deck, he would have found that due to updating and massaging of the card numbers and adding new weighted and ajusted alogrithms, that the cards for Death and the Devil have completely dissapeared!

    To be replaced by a picture of a happy family eating tofu and salad for 13, and one of a fat cat capitalist with a big cigar driving an SUV for the Devil!

    Them tragic Polar Bears are just going to have to evolve back into being Brown Bears again, poor hapless creatures at the whims of evolution, that they are, arn’t they?

  2. NickM says:

    RAB,
    You are on fire! First Your Macca spoof and now the PC major arcana. “Oh dear, it’s the diversity co-ordinator!”

  3. Sam Duncan says:

    New Scientist is but old priest writ large.

  4. Roue le Jour says:

    New Scientist magazine is basically a sister publication to The Guardian, i.e. it is almost entirely funded by job ads for government scientists. Its output reflects the view of its paymasters. “Climate Studies” overtook actual science there a long time ago.

    BTW, Do not look at the comments on the CRU leak piece if you value your sanity.

  5. CountingCats says:

    New Scientist’s remit is given away in the title, New Scientist.
    The word ‘New’ in the title of a magazine indicates a leftwing political persuasion, cf New Statesman.

  6. Peter MacFarlane says:

    Lubos Motl (http://motls.blogspot.com/) describes New Scientist as “Nude Socialist” and remarks in passing that it is largely “dominated by crackpots”.

    A pretty sound judgment imho.

  7. Pa Annoyed says:

    Yeah, no genuine scientist takes New Scientist seriously any more, but I’d probably go insane if I tried to read The Guardian. It is so far over the reality horizon that I’d end up chewing my own foot off to relieve the mental agony. It would be like reading the Necronomicon while on LSD and listening to whale music played backwards, in a Lovecraftian sort of way. Even the name “The Guardian” conjures up thoughts of a brooding limaceous malignancy lurking in the darkness beneath the suspicious ruins of an ancient temple, awaiting intruders, as howling acolytes gyrate and gibber before its blackened altars covered in the ever oleaginous Gore.

    I remember New Scientist from the old days. NS can still be amusing from time to time, as in this case, although their AGW obsession has mostly become a bit pathetic lately. Most of the time and on many other subjects, they do at least have reality’s phone number.

  8. RAB says:

    Gawd Pa, I can just about scan the Guardian, if I hold my nose, for stuff from Polly and Moonbat, but it’s the Independent that is the real brown Acid job!
    The stuff in their Environment pages make Jesus walking on water seem like a reasonable everyday occurence.

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