Kaor my friends.
Tars Tarkas, Kantos Kan, Mors Kajak.
These names mean anything to you?
You poor deprived bastard. I really do feel sorry for you; Barsoom never held you in its thrall.
Although, I got to admit, when I first came across them reading about semi naked oviparous Martian princesses was about as exciting as it got.
Now, I guess this will be no news to those out there who give a stuff about Hollywood, but I don’t, and I am usually the last to know these things. Hell, Avatar was already in the cinema before I even heard of it.
Anyway, the big news is – they are making a movie of A Princess of Mars!!!!!!!
Finally. Only a hundred years after it was first published.
In fact, two movies. The first, by The Asylum, a crowd who specialise in cheap knockoffs, was released yesterday on straight to DVD, and the other starts filming in Jan, 2010.
For those who have never ridden a thoat under the hurtling moons may I present Captain John Carter of Virginia, Jeddak of Jeddaks, Warlord of Mars, Deja Thoris – the most beautiful woman in two worlds, and Woola, the ever faithful calot. And what looks to be a dead thark.
And if you don’t know what I am talking about – stuff you. Just to show you a little more of what you missed growing up, here we have more of what enthralled me:
John Carter and Deja Thoris in traditional pose (and dress), him defending her on the steps of an abandoned temple, one of the great six limbed white apes who inhabit the deserted cities of a dying planet, hideous plant men from the Valley Dor, blood thirsty warrior Tharks, the great flying ships of the mighty Heliumetic navy, and a banth, waiting to prey on any and all the others.
Don’t tell me I had a boring childhood.